"Today was the best day of my life." Sam says as soon as we reach home. He still hasn't letting go of my hand. He's hand was tiny and warm in my larger ones. I felt like I needed to protect him from everything.
"I'm gald you had fun." I says happily.
"Let's get changed and have dinner." Mr.Oberoi says as he unbuttons his shirt. My face goes red and I turn away immediately.
"Will be right back." Sam chirps as he waddles to his room.
"I've never seen him so happy before." Mr.Oberoi says. That was true. This was the first time he'd been so enthusiastic. All the other times he had a straight face.
"He's a kid afterall. I can take him to the park everyday if he wants." I offer.
"Sure do. Just be careful." He shrugs.
"Can you not walk around naked like that?" I ask him.
"But you love it." He teases.
"I don't." I say strictly.
He winks at me and walks away. I'd never lived with a man before. All I had was my mother. And she didn't have much time to spend with me. Thinking of her, I suddenly feel guilty of not telling her.
"Hey..." I say as I enter our room. He's fully dressed now and was sitting on the bed as he checked his phone.
"Hey." He says, giving me a smile.
"So...I was thinking about something." I say. He hums in response. "My mom. She needs to know about our arrangement. I don't want to keep her in the dark."
His eyes are wide and he gulps. I find it funny. Like he is my actual boyfriend who needs to impress my mom.
"Are you sure?" He asks.
"Not right now ofcourse." I tell him. "I'll be graduating in three weeks. Then maybe."
"If you say so." He sighs.
I grin. "Don't worry. I think she'll definitely like you."
"I hope so." He says with a small unknowing pout on his face.
"The worst she'll do is kill me." I say. "The least is she'll sulk for a few days."
"But-"
"Don't worry. We'll just tell her it's a live in." I suggest.
Mr.Oberoi is suprised. "Are you sure?"
I was. I knew my mom after all.
"Yes."
"Okay then." He nods.
Somebody knocks on the door. It's Sam. He peeks inside and grins. I felt happy seeing him happy.
"Can I sleep with you both today?" He asks, struggling to hold his two pillows and the draped blanket all over the floor.
"Sure." I tell him.
I help him place his pillows systematically in between ours.
"Dinner first, Sammy." I remind him.
"Yeah right." He face palms.
After dinner we watch a disney movie of beauty and the beast. Mr.Oberoi falls asleep in a few minutes. He must be tired.
Sam didn't even turn his head until the movie was completely over. He then snuggled in my lap. I run my fingers through his bushy hair that he had gotten from Mr.Oberoi.
"You seem like beauty and dad like the beast." He blurts.
"What?"
"You seem like the beauty to his beast. I like him better since you came." He says.
"He's adorable sometimes." I agree as we watch him sleep with his mouth open.
"Do you love him?" I look at him shocked.
"What?"
"My teacher says parents love their children. Then parents must love each other too, right?" He asks.
"Sam." I say. "There is a word better than love. Comfort. I find comfort in you guys. And that is too much for me."
"So you do love us?" He asks.
I give him an empty smile. "I find comfort in you."
As I close my eyes, I rethink about Sam's question. Do I love him? Mr.Oberoi? Mom? Or my friends?
Did I even know what love was? What did it mean to love someone? I was bad at understanding feelings. Even if it meant mine.
All those people were people I found comfort in. They were my happy place where I could be myself. A place I loved to be. Did that mean I loved them? No I didn't.
Love was a feeling I was afraid to accept. Did I have the ability to love? I had never used the word I love you before. Not to anyone. It was sad to think I had no love in me.