It was already 8 pm when we finished eating dinner together. Zach is currently taking a shower and I am already on the bed looking at how big the baby has grown in my stomach. I didn't want to think that I was getting fat and seeing how much my stomach has bloated makes me feel like the same is happening to the other part of my body.
I don't even want to scare myself by thinking about how I can push the baby out. I want this pregnancy over and to see the baby. While thinking about it, I remembered that we still don't know its gender. But whether it would come out as a boy or as a girl, It would still be fine.
I smelled the fresh smell of body wash and saw Zach coming out of the bathroom with damp hair and a towel on his shoulders. He didn't say anything and sat on the bed with me.
Since when did I stop being uncomfortable when he sits on the bed with me?
"Aren't you staring at me too much?" he asked suddenly. I didn't even realize that I was staring at him. I was about to say something when I heard my phone ringing. We both looked at each other before I grabbed the phone and answer the call from an unknown number.
"Yes?" I asked when I answered the phone.
"Xhyrah," I heard a familiar voice from the other line, and the way she spoke my name made me shiver.
"T-tita," I called her. She's my mom's sister. Zach looked at me when I called her with a shaking voice. I am not feeling good about her calling me with a voice like that.
"Where are you right now?" she asked me.
"At home, with my husband," I said while looking at Zach who seems to get the situation. "Tita, did something happen?" I asked her.
She went silent for a few minutes before she started bawling. The pain in my chest suddenly started making me feel like I'm being stabbed even though I still don't know the reason. "Your parents.."
Before she could even say anything more, my tears started falling and my hands started shaking. "What's wrong?" Zach asked me.
"Tita What happened?" I asked her hoping for something good even though I already knew it was bad.
"They're gone,"
My mind fell blank. The phone dropped.
I started crying loudly. Zach came to me right away. "What happened?" he asked me. He hugged me immediately.
I lost them. I lost both of them.
I didn't even know what happened. The fact that they are both gone broke me into pieces.
I never really thought of them as the best parents. They are actually one of the worst but I never wished for them to end up like this. Right now.
"Mom and dad are gone," I answered him while crying myself out. He hugged me tighter and all I could do is cry on his shoulder. "I lost both of them,"
I couldn't explain the pain in my throbbing chest right now. All I want to do is bawl my eyes out until morning. But I woke up the next day because Zach woke me up.
I slept last night after a few hours of crying. I can feel my ugliness right now. Zach looks like he just came out of the bathroom. He is also lying on the bed right beside me. He moved my hair out of my face and hugged me. "Hey," he called me. I didn't answer even though I was already awake. "We have to go to your parent's house,"
I cannot believe it. I am all alone right now. Mom and Dad are gone.
"Your aunt told me everything. I called her last night," he continued talking as if he already knew I was already awake. "T-they got into a car accident,"
Those few words felt like knives stabbing into my chest. I gulped. It hurts being told how they ended up. They weren't even sick or anything. You take care of yourself too much but still end up dying on the road.
It hurts thinking about what they thought before they both passed away. "Were they together in the car?" I asked him. Already crying.
"Hmm," he hummed as an answer 'yes' to my question and swiped hair away from my face, and planted me a kiss on the forehead. He pulled my head towards his chest. "You need to get up," he told me. He brushed my hair with his fingers and spoke softly. "They're already there,"
"I don't want to," I said.
I am so scared. I don't want to see them. Finding out hurts so much. I don't think I could ever see both of them inside a coffin in their own home where I grew up in.
"You have to," he told me. I closed my eyes and pushed my head closer to his chest.
In the end, I managed to get up and take a bath. Every step is shaky. I don't ever want to end up preparing myself. It felt like it was a lot, but I went with normal clothes on. I couldn't even brush my hair right.
He was already waiting for me in the corner of the bed when I went out of the closet to prepare myself. "You ready?" he asked me.
I stopped and looked at him. I shook my head and he went to me immediately. "I really don't want to see them,"
"If you don't see them now, you won't be able to. They'll get cremated,"
But the thought of not going to see them for the very last time hurts me. They weren't the best but they were my parents and I have loved them even after what they did to me.
After a few minutes of snuggling onto Zach, I managed to get myself into the car and drive my way back to our old house which I know will be deserted from today on.
I was shaking and I feel like crying again. Having Zach beside me was the biggest thing that I was thankful for. He'd snuggle me when I need it. He would always check on me whenever he get a little time to go out of his office even though he was really busy.
I was already lucky to have had him from the first day. He stayed with me and took care of m. He stopped going out to work because he wanted to stay here with me.
I never really thought about having this kind of relationship with Zach. To the point that I get very comfortable and when he tries to comfort me with his ways and it gets me all the time. My decision of marrying him wasn't too bad at all. In fact, it was all worth it. He was a good man and I was so lucky to have him by my side.
"We're here," he said softly. He looked at them with concern in his eyes. There was a huge space in our front yard and the front door was wide open I can almost see the white lights coming from inside the house even though it is day time.
I saw a lot of familiar faces while inside the car and the crowd made me even more nervous. There were a lot of people and I wasn't also informed that they were that popular to have reporters at their funerals.
"You ready?" he asked me again. I had no other choice. He went out and opened the car door for me. I wasn't even that comfortable going out of the car with the size of my belly. The reporter's cameras flashed when Zach appeared with me. I don't feel like I look good. I found out about the accident last night and I am sure I am dead ugly.
'I-is this okay?" I asked Zach. He looked at me confused. His name will also be published in the articles together with my identity and the fact that I was pregnant.
"Don't mind them," he said and took my hand and walked through the huge crowd and entered the house. From the small stairs on our way inside, I can already see the tons of flowers sent by my parent's acquaintances, filling the house. I held his hand tightly as I walk through the line of white flowers.
"Xhyrah," I hear someone call me, and when I looked back, it was Tita Leah. When I saw her looking exhausted with all the things she had to prepare I kind of felt bad. But when I saw her crying, it broke my heart and I joined her. "Dear," she said as she wrap her arms around them and I started crying on her shoulder. "Everything will be okay, alright?" she tried comforting me as I cry on her shoulder.
It hurts. Everything is just all of a sudden and I didn't know what else to do. I have never imagined them passing away at this age. And the fact that they both passed away together leaving me with no one is as painful as a stab in the heart.
"I know it hurts, but don't stress yourself too much. Remember that you were pregnant," she said as she trail my hair with her hands.
"My sincere condolences," I heard Zach tell him but paused because he didn't know her name.
"I'm Leah, Xhyrah's aunt. Jenny, her mom's sister," she introduced herself to him.
"Zach Alfonso, ma'am,' he politely introduced himself.
"Now go and see them while they're here, you can't just be crying here," she said and removed her hug. She faced me and wiped my tears away. Then she looked at Zach giving him the look and Zach pulled me away from her. "And by the way, he came,"
I stopped crying for a second and looked at her surprised. Right, of course, he would come. I looked at Zach and went to walk towards the caskets only to see the man standing in front of it.
I cried even more and almost ran the distance between me and him. He seemed to have heard me crying and he immediately looked back and saw me walking toward him as fast as I could. "Xhyrah," he said and pulled me in his arms.
I never imagined our first meeting in 5 years would be like this. I understand why he had left and I feel bad meeting him again in a situation like this. He never even gets to talk to the both of them.
"Ali," I cried.