I put my easel in front of the huge window at the end of the hallway. The light in this area made me think that it is the best place to start painting. I pulled the easel in front of me who was currently sitting on the sofa placed along with the window. I pulled out a canvas and took out a pencil to start my layout.
I was 10 when I started being interested in drawing. I saw this man on TV doing some artwork and I apparently tried to do so too. I thought my drawing was ugly at that time so I made more and made even more to satisfy myself. My mom suddenly went into my room and saw my drawings. Without saying anything, they bought me a lot of materials. That was when I started drawing and painting.
When I finished high school, my parents pursued me to take a business administration course to carry on the business as they grow older. But Business was never really my type of ambition. If my brother hasn't left, everything could've been very easy for me. But I understand why he left because I wanted to but I was too weak.
I studied for 4 years in fine arts while being humiliated by my parents. They started hating my drawings, unlike the time when they bought me more materials when I was ten because they thought I draw amazingly.
That was when I started hiding my paintings inside my room. I would never take it out. I open my window and draw to my heart's content without letting them see it.
They wanted me to take business administration that badly to the point that they don't even think about how I feel whenever they criticize the works that I wanted to be proud of.
The good thing is that I have people online who appreciate it whenever I post. That way, I get to enjoy painting.
I put my hand away from the canvas and looked at the sketch that I made and compared it to the scenery outside. I wanted to paint what I am seeing right now. put on some of the details and opened my palette to start drawing over the lines of the sketch.
I was coloring the window when Zach came out of the next room which is his office. "You want something?" He asked me and went closer.
"Milk please-- oh no! you can't see it yet!" I said and covered the canvas with my hands when he tried to peek at the drawing. I glared at him and he left silently. He then went back with a bottle of milk and bottled iced coffee. "Thank you," I said when he put the bottle beside me without looking at the drawing.
I saw him sit on the seat in front of where I am currently sitting. He just added himself to my drawing. I took out the pencil and decided to add him to the canvas silently.
He's wearing his white long sleeves and black suit pants even when he's at home. He probably had a meeting earlier. I glance at him from time to time thinking I can draw him without letting him know but he's staring at me this whole time. "Aren't you staring at me too much?" I asked him using his line.
"Can't I?' he asked me.
And how am I supposed to answer him? Should I say 'no'?
I got taken aback because of his question and didn't answer. I stopped sketching and opened my bottle of milk instead. When I drank almost half of the bottle, I looked back at him and he was staring at me again. He's even tilting his head after seeing my reaction.
"You know it's uncomfortable having someone staring at you, don't you?" I asked him sarcastically. He smirked and looked away.
I continued sketching him and after I was satisfied, I started moving my brushes again.
Silence started to overcome again. But it doesn't feel uncomfortable at all. It feels light and peaceful. It doesn't bother me when he's around anymore. I like it when he's around and how silent he is when we were together. Especially at times like this when his silence makes everything perfect.
After a few moments, he stood up. "I need to go attend a meeting," he said. I nodded without looking at him and proceeded on drawing.
A few minutes later, I decided to take a break and laid my back on the wall. I was staring at the ceiling when my phone started beeping numerous times. It started with one beep so I decided to ignore it. Then 5 more added up. I decided to ignore it again but it suddenly kept blinking.
I took my phone and looked at it. They were all Instagram notifications. 10 people just followed me within 2 minutes. It was bizarre. This has never happened before but I decided to ignore it.
I continued doing the painting but a few minutes later, Zach went out of his office again. "Can you come here for a moment?" he suddenly asked me.
"Why? Is there anything wrong?" I asked immediately.
"Just come here for a moment. I want to show you something," he said. I stood up and went inside his office to see what it is and he showed me his laptop with an article on its screen.
"What's this?" I asked him as I sit on the chair. I looked at the screen and found out it was an article about Zach marrying the daughter of the owner of Jimenez Construction. "Oh my god," I said while scrolling through the article with shaking hands. I never wanted it to be publicized. "Who did this?"
"I don't know," he answered. Are those 10 followers just now were people who knew me and Zach?
Who did this? there are not a lot of people who knew Zach became my husband. Elaine? no, why would Elaine publicize it and let the business world know that Zach was married? It's not Zach's family too.
"Are you okay with this?" he asked me.
"No, I didn't want to be involved with business matters," I answered and wiped my hand on my face. Zach is too well known for my name to be involved with. I didn't want a lot of people to know about it. I have always been hiding behind my parent's shadow to keep myself from business matters.
I stopped my parents from releasing my name and my pictures. I never really talked about my family background at school. Who the hell would intel the publisher about this?
"I understand, I'll ask them to delete it right away," he said and pulled his laptop away from me.
Those 10 people that followed me earlier knew about this. My eyes widened and I immediately stood up to get my phone. I turned all my social media accounts private to prevent them from taking any of my photos.
I sat on the sofa inside Zach's office and started wondering who told the media about this. He told Mr. Heard he was married but he didn't see me so he doesn't know who I was. He doesn't know I was also a businessman's daughter.
Elaine will never do that, she's not into business and I don't find any reason for her to do that.
Zach's parents wouldn't too.
My parents..
What are they trying to do? Who will benefit a lot from being close to Zach? It's my Dad. They must have done this. Are they planning to attract more deals with other companies because of Zach's name?
I looked at Zach who was currently busy with his phone and laptop.
Come to think of it. My family's business isn't as high as Zach's success. Keeping myself away from business doesn't mean I am unknowledgeable about it. This is what my high school teacher told us before. Being married to a wealthy businessman means a lot. Just the name and the influence of a wealthy businessman are enough to bring a failing business back up again.
If my parents are thinking about getting more offers from other businessmen who would like to be associated with Zach's name by publishing this kind of article to the public... I couldn't help but think of the worst.
Is that it? Is that what they were doing? Letting the public know about me to benefit from my husband's name? WTF
"Oh my god," I whispered. How am I supposed to face Zach after knowing what my parents were doing? Even though my hands were shaking, I opened my browser and found out that more publishers released more articles.
I sighed heavily and went out of the room. I climbed up to the rooftop as I dial Mom's number. "Xhyrah," she said when she answered the call.
"You did it didn't you?" I asked her angrily right away.
"What do you mean?" pretending that she doesn't know made me think otherwise.
"The article," I said, "You released that article about our marriage didn't you?"
'Oh," she said and I heard a few scratches from the other line before she continued. "About that--"
"Why did you do that?!" I asked her angrily to the point that I feel like I'm about to cry. "You brought it out to the public without asking the both of us just for your own benefit! Aren't you even embarrassed?!"
"Xhyrah? How dare you talk--"
"No, Mom! I know you were already plotting this from the start. That's why you mentioned Zach that night!" I said, "I'm begging you to stop it. Get a hold of yourselves. Aren't you even embarrassed?!"
"Why are you so mad about it--"
"Because it's embarrassing! You're not the one who would be seeing Zach's face every day remembering that my parents are getting benefit from his name! Mom! Please!"
"What's so embarrassing about it? He's your husband after all,"
"Mom, you don't understand!" I said. My tears started to fall out because of the stress of trying to explain to her why I am so mad about it. She doesn't even sound like she understands how I feel. "How can you do this? You're only using our marriage!"
"Using? It was your fault why you've been used! If you hadn't been pregnant, this wouldn't have happened! " I was stunned by what she just told me. "Never talk about this to your Dad," she said and hung up the call.
So it's my fault now? They were able to milk something from Zach because of me?
They were right, I basically just did what they wanted me to do that night. They were plotting this since that night and all I did is to make their plans possible and now they are benefiting something from his name and it's all because of my fault.
If I didn't make that mistake that night I wouldn't be suffering from this humiliation. Thinking that they're using Zach openly makes me want to puke and make myself unrelated to them. And Zach will never tell me about this.
I forced my emotions to stop and fixed my face before going down. I wasn't expecting to see Zach right on the staircase from the rooftop. "I couldn't turn down the ar-- What happened?" he asked me immediately. I didn't expect him to find out too soon. I walked past him. I just can't force myself to look at him after what my parents just did.
I walked back into the room without looking back at him. My tears started falling again. I couldn't hold it back. I was planning to bury myself on the bed when Zach grabbed my hand and forced me to look at him. "What's wrong?' he asked me.
I kept my eyes on his chest. I couldn't look at him. I can't even tell him about it because it'll make it more humiliating. "Hey, tell me," he said and held my face and made me look at him. I felt the tingling sensation when he touched my face and raised it up.
I pushed him away and planned on doing my exit and escape from him but he didn't let go of my hand. "Did I do something wrong?" he asked me. I slowly shook my head. I don't want him to jump to conclusions because there's no way I am going to tell him about it. "Hey look at me," he asked me to look at him again but I didn't.
I felt his hand on my thigh as it brought me up from the ground. I couldn't help but hold on to his neck when he did that. He brought me inside the closet and put me on a dressing table. "Why were you crying?" he asked again,
"It's not you, it was something else," I said.
"Is it because of the articles? Is the business world too much for you?" he said sounding like he's already blaming himself because of me.
"No, it's not that, " I answered. He's looking at me straight in the eyes and it's making it hard to breathe. "I just called Mom, it was something else I promise," I convinced him.
I don't want him to think the problem was him. It's not. I want to tell him so badly but I know I shouldn't. It's too embarrassing to confess. All I can do now is assure him that he's not the problem.
"I talked to Mom, it's not you, I promise," I said and buried my face in his neck. There's that sensation when he's stroking my hair again. It made me want to sleep. "I want to go to sleep," I said. "Keep it that way," I added pertaining to the way he's running his fingers on my hair back and forth.
There's this feeling again, I am wondering why this feels so comfortable. I feel like I'm in the safest.
The worries and my conversation with my mom faded away as he lift me up and brought me back to the bed.
I'm glad he realized that I don't want to talk about it and just stopped asking about it. I didn't even get to think about it more because I lost all consciousness as I sleep.