And here I am, standing in front of his office building. Last night, my plan almost backed out. He's already seeing someone and I am here outside his building on my way to tell him that we're having a baby.
I breathe heavily as I walk towards the front to ask where I can find his office. I heard it's his. This very huge building is his.
Now that I got in this huge ass building, I realized that I shouldn't have had gotten myself involved to him.
If I had refused that night, I wouldn't have this problem anymore.
The fact that I was sober and let that thing happen to the both of us is very disappointing.
I am very disappointed with myself that I am going nuts.
And knowing that a baby is inside me right now made me very scared of the public. I am all alone, I told my driver to drop me at Aira's house but I didn't enter. I called a cab and went here instead.
I was so scared to come alone knowing that I am carrying a baby but I had no other choice but to come. This is what I have to do. I need him to tell everyone. I need his help. We both didn't want this to happen but since it has already happened, we have no other choice.
Today, I want to find out what he'd think about this and how he's going to react. On how he would deal with this as a grown up man. I am alone and I have no one to come to. It has become really hard for me and I really need his opinion on what to do about it.
Because I just can't stay depressed all the time.
So I brought myself up this morning to come to him and tell him about it. And now, I am inside his building waiting for the front desk woman to call his office and ask if I have an appointment.
"Floor 36 ma'am, that is occupied by Mr. CEO only," the clerk said with a huge smile on her face. I smiled at her and went to the elevator with my whole body shaking. I can feel my body getting colder as time passes. I feel like I can pass out anytime now.
I pressed floor 36 and waited for the elevator to arrive. I felt my body shiver when the elevator dings. I looked at the girls whom I rode the elevator with and went out. They seemed to be wondering why I stopped in this floor.
I went out of the elevator and saw another desk that probably belongs to her secretary. She's not there at the moment so I thought about knocking on the huge door a few steps in.
I breathe heavily as I waited for someone to open the door for me. This floor is only occupied by Zach. There is a lot of empty space everywhere. You can walk around the floor freely, the walls are made of glass that lets you see the buildings outside. There are plants and paintings scattered around the place too. There is a hallway you need to walk through before getting close to the door which is painted gray and decorated by a lot of paintings.
The place was elegant. I have never thought of him as a very rich person as serious as this before.
There's no lie in that title. I spent time with him and acted as if he's just a normal person.
A few moments later, a woman opened the door. I almost had an heart attack when I saw a pretty woman open the door for me, "Please come in," but she smiled at me.
Looking at the way she's dressed, she must be working here, or she's his secretary herself.
I couldn't think much about the secretary when the trembling worsened. I walked in with trembling hands and feet.
I tried hard not to let it show.
"Please follow me," she said and walked towards the table where Zach already is.
I have seen him wearing those clothes before but I have never imagined that I'd get to see him wearing that at work.
I gulped and followed her closer to his office table where he is sitting while scanning papers. He looks good with lenses on while spinning his pen in his right hand and the other holding the papers.
I gulped when I almost forgot what I came here for.
He looked at me from head to toe, and said "Sit down,"
I did what he wanted me to do. I sat on the chair in front of his table and put my shaking hands on my lap.
"What do you want to tell me?" he asked, I don't like the way he is talking to me with his attention on his paper. I want him to pay attention to me because what I am about to say is important. I am here shaking and he just can't pay a few seconds to look at me.
But I guess, he's just very busy, I am given the chance to meet him like this despite his schedule. The fact that I am in front of him right now is worth being thankful for.
I was about to tell him what I came here for when I caught the secretary's innocent look on me, I looked at her and she looked me in the eyes, I saw how Zach raised his head to me and looked at his secretary, "I'll call you back later," he told her. He must've realized that I can't say the thing when she's in here.
The secretary walked out of the room with only the heels of her shoes the only thing that was making a noise, and when she finally closed the door, The shaking worsened.
I gulped and looked at him with his eyes still on the papers in front of him, "I am pregnant,"
I heard the pen drop on the table and the noise of it rolling and dropping on the floor. He went silent, and I felt weak after finally having someone to know about it. I looked at him, his eyes show how much he was surprised by what I just said.
I couldn't say a thing and all I did is look down and keep myself from crying.
"When did you find out?" was the first thing he asked.
"A- a week ago," I answered, my voice almost cracked up while saying those few words.
"Why didn't you tell me when you found out?"
"I had trouble processing everything," I stopped and looked at him with tears escaping from my eyes, "And I just can't bring myself to you and tell you everything,"
I saw how his face changed when he saw me crying, I looked away and I wiped my tears, "I just want you to know, and tell me what I'm supposed to do," I said, "You don't have to say it now, I know it's hard to process everything, tell me if you're ready," I said and stood up from my seat about to take my leave, " I-I'll go now," I said and walked out of the room without looking back at him.
I tried hard to not let the secretary know that I was crying. I walked as fast as I could towards the elevator without looking back at anyone. More tears escaped from my eyes while riding the elevator.
I don't know if leaving right away was a good choice or should I have just talked to him about what we were going to do right away. But it took me time to process everything and I know it's going to take him time to do so too. I'll just wait for his response then.
I walked towards the exit trying to hide my tears from every person I am walking past to. I was about to reach the exit door when someone grabbed my hand. My eyes widened because of shock and when I looked at the person, it was Zach.
"Where are you going?" he asked me with a hint of anger in his tone.
"I told you, I'm leaving," I said and pulled my hand away from him. I looked around and saw a bunch of people looking at us, I had forgotten that he owns the place. I managed to make him let go of me but he held onto it again and grabbed me somewhere.
"Why are you leaving?' he asked me when we got into a place where no one can possibly see us.
"I was leaving and you didn't stop me," I told him.
"I was zoning out and when I looked back at you you already left," he said. So this is why he's angry, I sniffed and looked away, "Who's with you right now?"
"I came alone," I answered,
"Cab?" he asked and I didn't answer, "Come here, we'll talk inside the car,"
We walked towards a car that I am not familiar with, he opened the door and let me in. I heard him sigh when he sat in the driver's seat.
"Did you get yourself checked up already?" he asked while maneuvering the car taking me to god knows where.
"No," I answered. I looked at him, this isn't the words was expecting him to tell me, I was expecting him to say that we can't have the baby.
We were silent inside the car and got to a place near the building. It's some kind of a small park but we didn't go outside the car.
"Now, tell me what you think," he said as he stop the car engine,
I have always wanted someone to tell everything in my head. And now that he asked for it, I couldn't stop myself from crying inf front of him. "I'm scared,"
I can't even look at him but continued talking anyway, "I have a lot of things on my mind right now, I don't know how to tell everyone about this, my parents, Aira, your parents, my friends and everyone I know. I failed right when I thought everything will be fine after I graduated."
"I don't know how to tell Aira about it, she had no clue about what happened that night, and one day I'll be coming to tell her that I had sex with his brother and accidentally made a baby," I sniffed, "And your parents who know me too well, I just can't tell them,"
"You don't have to do it all alone,"I looked at him when he said that, disregarding the tears scattered around my face. "You know you didn't do it all alone, you don't have to deal with it alone Xhyrah," he said and looked at me in the eyes, "Stop crying, it's going to be alright,"
With those few words, I felt satisfied, my worries somehow lessened and I stopped crying. He's right, I don't have to do it all alone. I calmed down for a moment and suddenly remembered my parents.
I have never been okay with them. Everything I did in the past has turned out to them as a failure and a mistake. And this could be the biggest one I have ever done. They might've---
"Stop thinking about it, I'll deal with them instead," he suddenly said which made me stop my thoughts from overcoming my emotions.
"What do you mean?" I asked him.
"Take care of yourself, you have a baby inside you that you have to be worried about more than you have to worry about others," he said "You don't look good, stop thinking about it,"
"You know I can't just stop thinking about it as if I can let things be as it is--"
"I told you, I'll deal with it, Calm down already," he stopped me.
I don't know why the way he is dealing with this right now makes me want to cry. It's way too different when I found out, he's calmer and he looks like he already knows what he's going to do. Unlike me who's complaining about not having someone, I can rely on.
"Calm down, stop crying, I'll take you home right now," he said and maneuvered the car again, I leaned on the car's backrest and wiped the tears on my face using my hands, he took something from the compartment and handed me tissues.
I took it and continued wiping my face,
"You seemed to be thinking about everything as if you're going to be dealing with it all by yourself, we did it so I have to take part in it too. Stop crying, Xhyrah." he with his eyes on the road.
I took what he said, later that day, I tried hard not to think and stress so much about it. I was comforted by his words and it made things go a little easier for me. He was right, I don't have to think like I am going to do all of it alone.
The next morning, I received text messages from Zach.
[From: Zach 6:08 am
Take care of yourself ]
I stared at the text message for a few moments. He cares about the baby so much.
I tried hard to eat proper meals today. I stayed at home and almost didn't get out of my room at all. Since I haven't told them that I was pregnant, I can't walk around the house because they might find out about it just by looking at me. I want to tell them seriously, it's just that I don't have the courage and the perfect timing.
I am still worried about how they might react.
It's 6 pm and I am staying inside my room watching something on my phone when someone knocked on my door. I got really nervous. I went up from the bed and went to see who was knocking. It's our housemaid, "Sir is calling you downstairs, he's with someone,"
I immediately took a jacket inside my closet and went out of my room wearing shorts and a huge gray jacket. I went downstairs to see what they need and was surprised to see Zach sitting in front of my parents.
My eyes widened and I already knew what was happening. We looked at each other, I gave him a questioning look and he gave me an eye with assurance. It made me feel less nervous.