If asked what Neil likes the most in the world, then he will directly answer the sky is so many things Neil likes. The blue sky that stretches over his head can make him forget the quiet feeling that seems to wrap him tightly. The sky is an opiate for Neil to see his blue in every time he welcomes the world. The dark sky at night is also able to make it calm for a while from the insistence of the overflowing taste.
Neil liked his name more than the hundreds of names his father gave him to change his long-standing name when he was born. Neil's fondness for the sky up there is one of the reasons Neil likes his name because the layman is always with the sky. No matter how hard dad told him to change his name, he wouldn't want to. Sometimes about it, Neil always wondered. To his father. On him. Why?
A week after he woke up from his long sleep with a high fever when Neil was in junior high school. His father persuaded him to change the name he wanted, Neil never knew the exact reason for this only thing Neil was able to resist from all his father's wishes.
***
Half an hour before the bell rang Neil was still busy waiting for the upcoming bus to take him to school. His eyes glanced around the bus stop bored, looking for something interesting to see. Neil's eyes catch someone Awan already knows very well, he sits still while playing his phone.
Skylar. Neil was once eager to be familiar and friendly with Skylar figure who has a similar face to himself. However, Skylar is so socially withdrawn. Skylar is completely unaware of Neil's existence around him at this time.
It's been a year since Neil has been paying attention to Skylar who has a lookalike to him. And it wasn't just one Sunday that Neil tried to get acquainted with Skylar, but Skylar always rejected himself wanting to enter his universe. First seeing Skylar, Neil is very confident that Skylar is the only person who will be able to draw Neil into the dark circles of his world. The meeting made Neil feel that he had known Skylar for a long time.
A red bus came up with its vibrating voice and stopped right in front of the stop. Neil didn't immediately move in but he let Skylar first onto the bus. After Skylar enters Neil chooses through the back door to keep Skylar from knowing where he is. The clouds sit behind the empty Skylar. Skylar is still busy with mobile phones, this time he puts earphones on his ears blocking other sounds from entering his ears.
"Your twin?" An old man across from his chair asked Neil about Skylar.
Hearing him Neil smiles and expects Skylar to be his twin, but fate says otherwise. "No sir. It just so happens to be one school."
The man nods under the understanding he's back to paying attention to Skylar and then turns to Neil. "Very similar."
Neil smiled back and said very slowly. "She can't possibly want to have a twin like me."
Finally, the bus stopped right at the stop opposite their school. Neil's eyes can not be separated from how Skylar moves, Neil is only worried if the one in Skylar's hands is a mobile phone he believes there will be carelessness that happens to Skylar. Skylar doesn't seem to notice Neil around him, Skylar's not a sensitive enough person. Others may realize that he is being stared at from any angle but in contrast to Skylar who is too indifferent to the environment in which he stands.
When he was about to cross a motorcycle speeding reflexively Neil pulled a dark blue bag that was in the sky so that he backed away for a few steps to avoid being grazed by the bike. Skylar is of course shocked and immediately turns towards Neil, then Skylar's shocked face that Neil sees.
"If you want to walk, pay attention to the road is not the phone." Neil smiled broadly until he saw his white teeth. Neil's smiling manner makes his face completely different from Sky's. Skylar winked his eyes several times and then he immediately crossed the street and went into the school.
Neil's smile fades as Skylar's figure disappears in his sight. He remained silent in his place no matter the entrance bell that had been ringing loudly from inside the school.
Lonely. Neil's scope is again deserted, where no more sounds enter the senses just the roar of the wind caressing the smoothness of his ears. Neil groped his pants pocket, pulled out a photo depicting Neil as a child embracing the shoulders of someone who looked a lot like him.
The only photo he found at his house. In the room, under his bed. Seeing that there was not a single photo in the house, Neil always tried to keep this photo invisible to his father, so he took it everywhere. A childhood photo Neil forgot about. What his father kept tight and refused to tell me about his childhood, about his twin, about his mother. Why did he forget everything?
So Neil put the picture back in his pocket. Although the gate was closed so that there was no gap to enter, Neil could have gone the other way to get into his school without the teacher knowing.
When his legs are only one step to cross, suddenly his arm is tightly grasped by someone. Neil was jolted, he wasn't ready and couldn't fight back with the big guy who pulled him off. Neil couldn't scream when he was forced into a deserted alley. His hands were held firmly until he found it difficult to escape from people he did not know at all. A cold sweat arises when the figure Neil wants to make a friend is called by the mouth of a man who holds him.
"Skylar, we've waited until today. Our boss must be happy." After saying it was the sound of a woman laughing and approaching Neil in the afterthought of the pain that was so stinging next to his cheek. The smell Neil recognizes bursts into his nose. Blood. It all happened so fast Neil didn't know how and with what this woman in front of him hurt him. Neil's head was punched to the ear with excruciating pain. Neil's eyes blurred, he tried to widen his eyes but still blurred.
"Never reappear before Raihan." After saying it, the woman backed off and stated and gave a code that Neil only understood after part of his body felt such a painful feeling.
Neil doesn't know what the relationship between his father and Skylar is until he can experience this. There's too much cover-up for Neil to know. Neil is still grateful Skylar can go straight into the school instead of feeling the pain of being hit, instead of being in Neil's current position because it hurts so much. Although Neil doesn't know anything that happened at least it wasn't Sky who was hurt.
There's a little thing Neil always believed in his heart. After all, he forgets all about himself, about the important people in his life. However, his heart never forgets, as if continuing to remember the taste. Skylar, who she believes is secretly her twin in her photo. Both in the same womb how can the inner bond not be created.
Everything was so fast, Neil couldn't resist or escape. His body fell to the ground hard, and then they kicked him here and there. Awan's head was throbbing in pain and his ears were ringing strongly, adding that his body felt crushed as the woman swung a wooden beam into her stomach. Neil coughed with fresh blood coming out of Neil's mouth without him being able to stand it. It's outrageous, what exactly is Skylar's fault here to be beaten up by these people. Neil could only see but his body was limp, no one passed by and saw the violence he was doing. The blood that came out just made his throat dry and difficult to make noise. He just moved his lips and whispered faintly.
Skylar, help!
As if unsatisfied, the man in the black shirt who was holding him approached Neil and the woman and they did something that wanted to make Neil choose to drown in the dark and deep seas. Neil wants to feel numb and empty. Ashamed. His self-esteem vanished instantly. Neil was helpless and felt very weak. Neil wants to forget, one more time.
And suddenly Neil's gaze blurted out and his consciousness was forcibly taken away by the darkness.
Continued...
Thank you for reading.