I didn't really know how to get to his pack lands. Sure, if I was on foot, I could do that run blind, as I could with all the popular raiding spots in Yorkshire, but I had never driven there. I kept turning down roads that I knew went in the right direction, but they never led me there. Bloody humans designing stupid roads that never went where they needed to.
"Natalia, do you know where the entrance to the pack lands are?" He asked after the third time I turned down the wrong road, spent a solid minute cursing, and then reversed out, usually knocking into a fence along the way.
"No, but that's your fault. If you and the other alphas didn't patrol the entry road so much, us rogues wouldn't avoid it like we do. Besides, we never use it anyway. Too hard to sneak past everyone, and its better to just get in and out without being seen-" I bit my own tongue. I was saying too much to an alpha, I knew better than this! After all, every time you raiding, you were running the risk of being captured, tortured for information and then killed, and I had always steeled myself for that possibility. I was determined that I would never talk, that I'd kill myself before I spilled secrets, but here I was, telling the alpha whatever flashed through my mind like I was a weak willed pack wolf just because he was my mate.
"Instead of blaming the pack wolves, how about you untie my blindfold and let me guide you back to the territory?" He offered. I hesitated, pulling over to the side of the road. It was on double yellows, but the police stayed out of this part of Keighley when it was dark. I looked at him, not sure if I should.
"Come on, Natalia. We're far enough away from the rogue camp for me to have no idea how to find it. I wouldn't, anyway, because chances are you would get caught in the cross fire. There's no harm in taking the blindfold off, alright? I'll guide us back to my territory, write down my number for you, and then be on my way, okay?" He coaxed me, but I was naturally suspicious.
"And how do I know that you won't be leading me into a trap?"
"Natalia, how the hell would I have coordinated that?" I gasped.
"You've been mind linking your pack, of course! I've brought you close enough that you'll be in range, and I'm not a strong enough linker to stop you." I realised. He groaned and threw his head back. "Yeah, I know what you're up to, alpha."
"Firstly, will you please just start calling me Seb? It's my name, which I doubt you even knew. And why would I do that? I'm your mate, I don't want to hurt you!" I snorted.
"What we define as hurting someone is very different. I know what you people are like, you'll think it's alright to kidnap me and try and force me to become a packling. And that ain't gonna happen, because I'm a rogue through and through." I told him shortly.
"I'm not going to do that. Look, you can either take my blindfold off and let me direct you to somewhere you can drop me off, or you can spend the rest of the night driving around trying to find the entrance to my territory and definitely get caught breaking me out. Yeah, I figured out that you're on a ticking clock." I won't lie, I had definitely forgotten about the time restraints I was under, which now that I remembered, pushed me towards making a decision I could well regret.
"Fine. But I'm warning you now, me having to act like a packling would be worse than death for me, so if you try and force it on me, I will stab you in the neck before any of your servants can reach me." I warned him, leaning over and undoing the knot in the blindfold at the nape of his neck. He blinked at the sudden light, rubbing his eyes with his bound hands before looking around to get his bearings.
"They're fighters, not servants-"
"I know how your packs work, everyone in there who isn't the alpha is a servant." I interrupted, not that he listened.
"And you need to continue down this road until I tell you to turn off. You aren't actually that far off." He commented. I pulled off, a little too jerkily for him given how he immediately braced against the dashboard.
"Still a firm no on the seat belt, huh?"
"I'm a grown up, I'll die like one." I muttered. He said something under his breath that I didn't try to hear. He guided me through the town, and out onto the moors, before we reached a towering, locked gate that was apparently the main entrance to his pack lands. I didn't understand why they needed a locked gate. We never used it. It was as useless as the no trespassing signs they plastered everywhere.
"I guess this is where we part ways then." I muttered, not making any move to untie him for some reason. He didn't move either.
"Yes, I suppose it is. You need to get yourself back, before people figure out what you've done." He told me. I leant over and pulled out my knife, using it to jimmy open the locks on one of his handcuffs, much to his discomfort. "You don't have a key?"
"This way is quicker."
"No, it really isn't." He sighed as I popped the lock open, releasing one of his hands. He promptly presented me with the other one.
"Come on, dude, you have free movement. Besides, if I take them off entirely we'll have to decide who keeps them and then it just gets weird." It already felt weird, like the air in the car was thickening with a bunch of things neither of us wanted to say. I swallowed uncomfortably. "Alright, out you hop. See you never." I muttered, pointing to the door. He didn't move.
"Wait, do you have a pen and paper? I need to give you my number." I gave him a dry look.
"Do I look like the kind of person who carries around a pen and paper?" I asked him. He stifled a grin and popped open the glove box, poking through it until he pulled out a crumpled business card and a pencil.
"Ooo, alpha, that's stealing. That's against your strict moral code, isn't it?" I teased. He gave me a side eye.
"Very funny. I think its allowed if its only an old business card and a pencil I'm going to put back." He muttered, finishing up. Before he could return the pencil, I snatched it from him, snapped it in two, and chucked it into my footwell.
"Nat, you can't drive like that, they could get stuck under the pedals-" I rolled my eyes.
"I don't care. Give me the card, which I will probably throw out, and get out of my car." I grumbled good naturedly. He held it out to me, and when I grabbed it, he grasped onto my fingers for a few more seconds than strictly necessary.
"Stay safe, Natalia. Oh, and if you get found out, well- just know that you can come here." He offered. I snorted and shook my head.
"Seb, it'll be a cold day in hell when I go crawling to an alpha for help. And, y'know, I would say the same to you, but you'll get mobbed and taken prisoner." He smiled.
"Cheers, Natalia. For everything." He said, opening the door and climbing out. He stood in front, in the lights, and waved, a sad look on his face. I wanted to wave back, but then I decided it would be funnier to jump on the gas and almost knock him over. He leapt back and flipped me off, though his grin didn't falter. I stuck my finger up at him, before reversing into a wall and driving away.
To my surprise, I felt a tear run down my cheek. I scowled and struck it away. No need to be so melodramatic about this. I needed to get the car back and then sneak back into the camp before anyone noticed we were missing, after all, and my schedule didn't have a crying break in it. I drove too quickly back to Silsden, speeding around corners to feel the adrenaline rush. It always made me feel better.
I reached the street where the car was from and got out. No police, no curtain twitchers, so I doubted the absence had been noted. I mean, sure, the humans would realise something had happened to their car when they got up and saw how battered it was, but then it would be too late for anyone to spot me.
I trekked out of the town and back into the hills, towards the camp. The entire time I was looking all around me, sniffing the air to make sure that no one was around. I was so close to the end, and in my experience, this was when things went wrong. I found my way through the woods with ease, until I came to the lake. It was abandoned, because this one was further away from camp than the river and no rogue could be arsed to walk so far when they were drunk just for a bit of privacy and calmer water.
I stripped out of my clothes, tying them around a rock and submerging them to the bottom of the lake. They would be found, eventually, but by then my scent would have washed off of them. The only thing I didn't submerge were my shoes, because rogues were very territorial about those and I didn't know when I'd be able to grab a new pair. And me walking around barefoot would definitely seem suspicious.
I found the clothes I had hidden first, laying them by the side of the lake and picking up the soap. I needed to scrub the smell of petrol off of me. It had already begun to irritate and burn at my skin, but that would be healed by the time I got back to camp if I could get it all off.
Once I was clean, I started to muddy myself up a bit. So I wouldn't look weird. Finally, I snuck back into camp, back through the main way because if anyone saw me, they'd just think I was taking a piss in the woods. Finally, I reached my den. Nate wasn't there, no doubt staggering about quadruple checking for his mate among the rogues who camped with us. Gwenna wasn't there, no doubt cuddling up with Ada in her tent.
For the first time, my loneliness really hit me. I fell to my knees, crying despite my best attempts to keep the tears in. Nate would find his mate soon, and then I would be all alone. I never thought I would mind if I was the last one to find my mate, but that was when I thought that I would eventually find him and get to be with him. But I would never have that, and the worst part was, I couldn't even talk to anyone about it.
I knew that life wasn't fair. I had known that for as long as I was alive. If life were fair, my sister wouldn't have been killed within hours of being born. I would have gotten to meet my mother. I would have known my father before he was crippled by the loss of his mate. The packs wouldn't hunt us and kill us just because we refused to follow their stupid rules. So yes, I knew that life wasn't fair, and I wasn't one to whine about it, but this felt particularly cruel.
I didn't know if I could stand this.