School looked terrible as usual. Nothing interesting. I feel like I just want to leave this world and flee to Narnia. Live with mythical creatures, without listening to all the bullshit. The student lockers were filled with students picking up or putting down their books in the first hour. Some of them gave me a strange look, before finally leaving. I did become a feared student here, partly because of the bad label I was given, partly because they didn't want to have anything to do with the school baddies.
Someone scolded me when I closed the locker door tight. Jillian stood next to me with her usual wide grin. She scanned my appearance from top to bottom as if he thought I was an extraterrestrial stranded on earth.
"You seem fine, Elsie? What time were you going home? Sorry, I was very drunk and didn't know where you were at the time." Jillian put on a face full of regret and apologies.
I licked my lips for a few seconds. "That's okay. I don't drink much." I flashed a crooked smile. "I was home at four."
"Wow, how long have you been playing with Ryan?" Jillian laughed softly while I responded by rolling my eyes in annoyance. Clearing his throat softly, Jillian moved closer and put her arm around my shoulder. "How was the game, eh?"
"Not bad. Just like the others." I stroked my nails while pursing my lips. "Well, can we not talk about it?"
"Hm, something's off.." Jillian quipped; one eyebrow raised questioningly. I didn't reply to her insinuation.
Jillian's head moved in one direction. She nudged me lightly as she coded with her chin. I pursed my lips sideways to find Ryan walking hand in hand with a girl, a fellow popular girl. He put his arm around her shoulder, occasionally kissing her lips and laughing out loud.
"What's that got to do with me?" I asked noticing Jillian's skeptical gaze. "As usual, right? Just another one-night stand." I turned my attention to Jillian who remained unbothered by my words.
I gave a big smile and led Jillian out of the student locker. Behind that smile, I have a painful feeling. No, not out of jealousy to see Ryan holding another girl. What a stupid thing to do. Because I know he's a playboy. I hate seeing people fall in love. And I know, after seeing Ryan laugh like that, he genuinely loves that girl. I have often and used to be played by my male friends. For that, I don't mind if Ryan is a part of them.
Sometimes I think that my life is meaningless. I have a problem with my diet which causes people to call me anorexic. My parents divorced when I was nine years old. And I was tricked by two people when I first entered high school.
"Are you all right, Elsie?" Jillian asked reassuringly when we were almost to first class.
I gave a crooked smile. "Yes, no. I'm not feeling well."