"Ms. Karina, handa na po ang lahat ng gamit niyo. Naipasok na po sa mga van ang isandaan niyong maleta. Ano na po ang susunod na gagawin namin?"
Humigop ako sa hawak na mug ng tsaa bago maingat na inilapag ito sa tempered glass center table. Pagkatapos ay tumayo ako at humawak sa railings ng balcony ng hotel.
"How about my boxes of shoes, bags, and jewelries?"
"It's been taken care of, Ms. Karina. It was loaded in a different vehicle with five cars for security on stand by."
"Good."
Tumingin ako sa ibaba sa pag-asang makikita ko uli ang magkasintahan pero nabigo ako. Wala sa dating loveseat sa harap ng souvenir shop ang magkapareha na araw-araw kong pinagmamasdan tuwing umaga.
"Prepare the car. We'll go now," nakatitig pa rin sa labas na utos ko kay Celeste. May kahungkagan akong nadama na hindi ko nakita ang dalawa sa araw na aalis ako.
I owed them the fun I felt for my entire stay in the hotel. Gusto ko lang sanang magpaalam na sa mga ito. I'll thank them for filling my weary days with excitement.
"As you wish, Ms. Karina."
Bumalik ako sa pagkakaupo at inayos ang black veil sa ulo pati na rin ang hanggang sakong na French retro style black dress. My feet were comfortably housed by a pair of T-strap black heels which the Chairman gifted me last year. It became my favorite shoes instantly because I believed it gave me good luck.
I crossed my legs and sipped on my tea again. Pinag-aralan ko ang klima sa labas. Medyo mahangin. Hindi masyadong malamig pero pwede na kaysa naman sa napakainit na panahon nitong mga nakaraang araw.
Naiinis ako nang kaunti dahil wala ang mga huni ng ibon at tunog ng mga insekto na nakasanayan ko noon. Iyon pa naman ang isa sa mga dahilan nang pagbabalik ko rito.
"But I still love you, my Cerro Roca. I still do even when you've been too cruel to me."
Huminga ako nang malalim at muling humigop sa tsaa. I don't like the taste of it but I became accustomed to it so I learned to include this in my daily routine. The Chairman loves to drink green tea and I drink this as my way of respecting him.
Tumayo ako nang maubos na ang laman ng tasa at maingat na nagpahid ng bibig gamit ang cloth napkin na may burda ng pirma ko. I traced the outline of my name on the linen with my long painted jet black nails. The unusual low glow of the afternoon sun casts a glint on the batch of gold hand chain bracelet on my right hand.
Mrs. Gastrell.
"Mrs. Gastrell. I've always wanted to be called in this name," bulong ko sa sarili.
Inilapag ko ang piraso ng tela sa mesa
at tinanaw ang nagtatayugang gusali sa harapan ko.
Parang si Cholo lang noong una. He's someone out of my grasp, an unreachable star I admire from down below the bowels of the earth.
Who would have thought that I'll be where I am at now? Who can predict that I'll be able to stand up on equal footing with him?
Life is indeed playful. One day you're at the mud struggling to get up, and then you're a member of the most expensive country club the next split second enjoying a glass of champagne with the one percent population while looking at the wondrous view of the Sierra Madre.
I snapped out of my deep thoughts and touched my hair. I don't want to go down the memory bank again.
Lumabas na ako ng silid na tinutuluyan at kinuha ang handbag ko na inabot ni Celeste sa akin.
We drove the elevator down and traversed through the hallway. The men in black suits were in front and behind me making sure that there's no threat around the area.
I can't blame them though. My presence in this town warrants trouble.
It's a a very flashy sight to behold. Me, in my long black garments and glittery jewelries all over the body while more than a dozen of men were surrounding me. Every guest we walked past through looked at us with curious eyes.
Nang makalabas na kami sa gusali at makalapit sa sasakyan ay agad na binuksan ng personal driver ang pintuan ng limousine para sa akin. Bago ako pumasok, muli kong nilingon ang hotel kung saan dating nakatayo ang munting kubo namin. Umusal muna ako nang pangako sa sarili bago pumasok sa sasakyan. Maya-maya pa ay tinabihan na ako ni Celeste na dala-dala ang Ipad nito at cellphone.
"Where to, Ms. Karina?"
Isinuot ko muna ang shades at sumandal sa leather seat bago sumagot. Naglalaro sa bibig ko ang isang ngiti.
"To the mansion. To Cholo Gastrell's mansion."
"Copy, Ms. Karina."
Kinuha nito ang cellphone at may tinawagan.
Tumingin naman ako sa labas ng sasakyan. I hate what I'm seeing. I abhor the signs of commercialization of this place I love. They desecrated my sanctuary, my place of birth.
Celeste poured me a glass of wine as the car bolted out into the deserted private road that will lead us to the mansion on the hilltop where the wife of any Gastrell should be rightfully staying.
I still noticed the smooth ten-minute drive even when my mind is flying away to the times when I first set my foot in the residence. That was ages ago but I still remember every memory of that event. It's nostalgic and remarkable.
Natigil lang ako sa pagbabalik sa nakaraan nang umikot ang limousine sa horseshoe driveway at tumigil sa dambuhalang pintuan ng mansiyon.
Bumukas ang pinto at dahan-dahang lumabas ako bitbit pa rin ang basong nangangalahati na ang laman.
Tumingala ako sa higanteng stone mansion at napangiti sa sarili. It's going to be fun living in here.
Nakababa na rin ang mga security personnels at iba pang staff mula sa dalwampung sasakyan dala ang mga gamit ko at ngayon ay naghihintay na ng susunod na gagawin.
Inubos ko muna ang iniinom saka ibinigay kay Celeste.
Lumapit naman sa akin si Vishen matapos nitong kausapin ang isang security guard ng mansiyon.
"Ms. Karina, tayo na po."
I adjusted my shades, put my veil in place and ran a few fingers over my hair before I walked into the giant door.
Vishen opened the door for me. I raised my hand at him to tell him that I'm going alone. He nodded and bowed his head.
The first thing that caught my eyes when I entered the house is the huge family portrait on the wall. Kumpleto ang pamilyang Gastrell. Nandoon si Mr. Easton Gastrell, si Catharine Gastrell, si Cholo at ang kapatid nitong babae na si
Charlotte.
"I told you to get your ass off Cerro Roca, Karina. I made myself clear the last time, didn't I?"
Nakuha ang pansin ko nang lalaking nagsalita kaya nagbaba ako ng tingin mula sa painting at ibinaling sa asawa na nakatayo sa bukana ng spiral staircase at kasalukuyang tinatanggal ang mga benda sa kamay.
He's topless and trickles of sweat were very visible in his tanned skin. His big buff body of full pack of abs and very defined arms and legs are in display. My eyes narrowed down to the bulge on his front because his gym shorts concealed nothing. I whistled in my mind.
Pure meat.
"You still box? Wanna have a sparring with me?" sabi ko rito habang malapad ang ngiti.
He obviously didn't like my answer based on the way his browns creased.
"I'm sure you heard me, Karina. Get out of my house."
Tumalikod ito papuntang kusina. Sinundan ko siya.
"Why would I ran away from home, Cholo? This is where I'm supposed to be days ago pero pinili ko munang magpakita sa iyo sa party bago ako umuwi dito sa ating bahay. I know you hate surprises, dear."
Binuksan nito ang ref at kumuha ng bottled water. Binuksan nito ang takip at diretsong ininom. Tumulo ang natapon na tubig mula sa labi nito pababa sa pawisang dibdib nito.
I watched as his Adam's apple move in unison to his jaws.
Sexy.
Hindi ako nagbawi ng tingin mula sa basang katawan nito kahit na kanina pa ito nakatayo sa gitna ng kusina at madilim na ang tingin sa akin. Hindi nakaligtas sa matalas kong paningin ang bahagya niyang pagsipat sa akin mula ulo hanggang paa.
"What do you really want?"
May panganib na sa tinig nito.
Tinitigan ko ang nakatiim na labi ni Cholo. How heavenly would it be to feel his lips against mine once again. "You. Us. I want you back, husband. I want you back in my life, Cholo."
Tumawa ito nang nakakaloko saka umiling-iling.
"Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Do you really think I will still accept you after you play with me and make a fool out of my back? You want money again to finance your lavish lifestyle? You can go back to being a prostitute again Karina. Fuck all the men here in town again."
Kung ako pa siguro ang dating Karina ay baka nasampal ko na ito sa labis na galit. Pero wala nang bakas ng dating ako ang bagong Karina ngayon. All I have become is a strong unaffected bitch.
"I'll certainly fuck you again Cholo with all the white juices in me." Kagat ang labi na pinasadahan ko ito nang nang-aakit na tingin.
"I can see that you have been exercising. Well, let's continue in bed then. Let me show you the new skill I acquired," dagdag ko pa.
Nag-igtingan ang panga nito sa disgusto.
"Get out before I dragged you away, Karina," he warned. His voice became lethal.
"You can't do that. You will never do that to your wife, Cholo," nakataas ang mukhang saad ko.
Inilang-hakbang nito ang pagitan namin at hinawakan ang magkabilang braso ko nang napakahigpit. Siguradong magmamarka ito mamaya pero wala akong ginawa para makawala. I just let him be.
Nag-aalab sa galit ang mga mata nito kaya hindi na ako magtataka kung mamaya ay magbubuga na ito ng apoy.
"Listen carefully, Karina. I don't know what your motives are for coming back here but I want you to understand that I don't want to do something with you anymore. Yung nakaraan natin, yung mga pinagsamahan natin noon, nagsisisi ako kung bakit pa iyon nangyari. You have become my biggest regret in life. Elizabeth has saved me from the bitter past I had with you. And now that I'm starting to build a life with her, you'll come back from nowhere telling me you want to be with me again? You are disgusting."
Unti-unting natibag ang lakas ng loob na baon ko sa mga sinabi nito. I'm beginning to get dizzy, my hands and feet are turning into ice cold. A part of me was moved into instant defense.
I sucked for breath while praying that Cholo won't notice my reaction.
"Did that make you feel better? Did your hatred for me somehow decreased after saying all those things? Hindi naman di ba? Makakatulong ba kung itatanggi ko sa iyo ang lahat ng mga paratang mo? Maniniwala ka ba? Hindi naman di ba kaya bakit pa ako mag-aaksaya ng panahon para baguhin ang nasa isip mo? You already made up your mind. You believed them. Kaya ngayon, all I'm asking is another chance to be with you, Cholo. I'm asking as your wife."
Binitawan niya ako at tumalikod. Yumugyog ang balikat nito saka nagkatunog ang pagtawa nito.
"See, Karina. You never failed to amuse me. Nagbago ka na nga sa pisikal na paraan pero ni hindi ka man lang nag-improve sa comprehension department. I've had enough of you. Umalis ka na."
"Mas ikaw ang hindi makaintindi. Your academic credentials are impressive. Consistent valedictorian from kindergarten to high school, magna cum laude in college, here and there awards but you can't even understand a simple logic. I have every right to stay in your house as much as you do because this is also my house because I'm your wife."
"Stop pushing it. You are delusional, woman."
Akma na itong maglalakad pabalik sa sala pero iniharang ko ang paa rito. I reached for my handbag and produced a piece of crumpled paper. Kinuha ko ang basang kamay ni Cholo at inilagay rito ang lukot at naninilaw na papel.
Kinuha nito iyon at binasa. Nagpalipat-lipat ang tingin niya sa akin at sa kapirasong papel. Walang babalang pinunit nito iyon, nilukot at itinapon sa trash bin.
"I could get a hundred of thousands of marriage certificate Cholo," ani ko.
"Kung totoo man iyan, I could get millions of annulments, too. I don't want my name to be associated with someone like you. No man will ever be proud of having you as a wife, Karina. No man deserves a woman like you."
Malalaki ang hakbang na tuluy-tuloy na naglakad ito palayo.
I was left with an empty house and an empty heart.