"Wow. You've been really busy." Derek's twin sister looked around the barn, which Derek had converted into a makeshift work room. Her brown hair was pulled up in a lopsided ponytail, and her eyes sparkled in that way they always did, even when he didn't deserve to see any sparkle at all.
Rose had arrived just a little while ago with Adam, a full day later than they should have. She said it was her fault, and that she'd made Adam stop at some hole in the wall tourist traps on the way down.
That sure sounded like Rose, but he just couldn't imagine Adam having any fun being towed by his sister from the Outdoor Jurassic Safari Park to the Happy Llama's Petting Farm. It wouldn't have mattered. No one could say no to Rose when she wanted to do something. It was better to just go along with her plans and count yourself lucky to be in her presence.
Adam was his best friend, and Derek should be grateful that he'd stepped in to act like a brother when Derek had failed. And as much as it had pissed him off when Seth and Wolf had first shown up--hell, they'd been drinking and trashing his house for two days straight--he was relieved to see them all.
Wolf had been pestering him to come in and jam with them since they got back from the Rooster the night before last, but Derek didn't want to jam. For the first time in his life, he couldn't feel his music.
That was going to be a serious issue. Normally he and Seth wrote their songs together, with Seth laying down the bare bones and Derek fleshing it out, and he knew that's what his friends were hoping for now. They were behind on their new album as it was, and Derek's father's death had just brought the whole thing to a giant, screeching, halt.
That was one of the reasons he needed to get away in the first place. That well-placed thumbtack told him he needed to just let some other things happen--like a house and a beautiful band teacher--before he could get his mind back where it needed to be.
Only problem was, he was beginning to wonder if he'd ever have his mind back where it needed to be. Just because he longed for a more stable life with a house, a wife, and a dog, didn't mean he'd ever want to give up his music.
No, he wanted it all. He supposed that made him a greedy bastard.
Rose raised her eyebrows at the table saw in the middle of the barn, then tilted her head at the miter saw and router he'd purchased with the wad of cash he'd irresponsibly carried down with him on his trip from New York.
"That's my baby brother. You've always loved saws almost as much as you love pianos." She smiled at him and his heart twisted. She looked so much like their mom.
Rose and he were twins. She was two minutes older and infinitely wiser, so it was only natural that people said they saw the resemblance between the two of them. Sure, they looked alike, but Derek saw his mom in her, especially in that smile.
She lit up a room with her smile, made you feel like you made her the happiest person in the world just by being with her.
He turned to mess with the tools on his workbench so Rose wouldn't see the tears in his eyes. How could she smile at him like that when he ran as soon as his dad was in the ground.
"Never as much as pianos...or you. But yeah, I guess I have been busy." When the tears receded he turned back to her and pulled her into his arms.
He hugged her, and she hugged him back, squeezing him so tight he thought his ribs might crack. He kissed the top of her head.
"I miss them both so much, Derek." Her voice broke as she buried her face in his chest.
He let his own tears fall now, blinking through them as he held her close. "Me too. I'm so sorry, sis. I wasn't even there when dad died. I don't remember the last conversation we had because I was too busy with work shit. Then I left you. I was an awful son, and a worse brother."
She pulled away and grabbed the sides of his face, forcing him to look at her. "Don't you dare. Dad wouldn't want you to feel guilty about not being there. And I forgive you for running away. I love you. I know you love me even if you acted like an asshole."
He tried to turn his face away, but she held him still.
"Do you hear me? I said I forgive you. I will think of a way for you to make it up to me if it makes you feel better." Her eyes lit up. "I know…I saw a sign for a pond that's supposed to be a bottomless hole off the highway on the way down. You can take me to see it and by me a souvenir. I won't even try to push you in."
He nodded and swallowed down the ball of guilt that clogged his throat. "Yeah, but I shouldn't have taken off like I did..."
"You should have at least talked to me first."
"I'm a shit brother."
"Shut up. You're the best brother. You're my only brother."
"All the more reason I'm shit. You needed me and I ran."
She sighed. "I needed you. But you needed this." She motioned to everything around them. "From now on, we will find a way for us both to have what we need, okay?"
He nodded again.
"And anyway, don't beat yourself up too much. Adam has been taking care of me..." She cleared her throat and glanced at her feet. "Wolf and Seth too, in their own ways. They had your back."
"That doesn't make me feel any better," Derek grumbled. He could only imagine what Wolf did to make her feel better. He was extra long hugs and offers to massage her feet. Derek would have to punch him just in case. "My friends had to take care of you when I didn't."
"Exactly." Rose poked him in the chest. "Your friends. Be glad you have such good ones."
"Have you always been this smart?" Derek hugged her again.
When he let her go, Rose picked up his work gloves and slid them on her hands. She began to clumsily mimic him playing the piano, scowling in what she clearly thought was his natural expression.
The scowl cracked, and she blinded him with her smile once more. He grinned back. The gloves were way too big and made her look like a mad scientist had sewn the wrong hands on her body.
"Yup. I'm a genius." She waggled her eyebrows. "Tell me more about this house of yours. I bet the only reason you bought it was because of the turret. You have always had an unhealthy obsession with those things. It's a little weird, if you ask me. What have you been working on?"
"The porch mostly. The paneling inside. Next'll be the staircase." Derek had hardly slept the last week, filling his days and nights with sanding and cutting, stripping and refinishing.
He'd been filling his mind with his projects, cramming every empty space with a focus on his work. He did everything he could to make sure there wasn't any room in there for Layla. What she'd done to him, and even worse, what he'd done in return.
He tried to keep his smile in place because damn, it felt good to have his sister here. He'd never take her for granted again. "The turret is fucking awesome, isn't it."
"Wait a minute...what was that look?" She poked him in the chest again with a gloved finger.
"What look?"
"Something is bothering you. Other than...dad." Her voice quavered as she mentioned their father.
He studied his sister, the way her blue eyes searched his face, reading every flicker of emotion so she could interpret it in a way that would most likely be way too accurate for his comfort. "You've always been able to do that..."
"We're twins. We share a mind link." She narrowed her eyes.
"I keep telling you, that's only with identical twins."
"Yet I keep feeling the mind link."
He didn't argue the point. Truth was, he believed her.
He used to feel it, right up until the band became his sole reason for existing. If he paid more attention to her, he'd probably feel more now. And he was going to be paying more attention to her, because as much as he couldn't imagine doing anything else with his life, the needs of the band were no longer going to trump his own needs.
There had to be a way to have everything.