NOW
MARCH 7 11:09 P.M. Don't bother picking
me up anymore. I can walk home.
I did walk home. All five miles from the
bus station, dragging an overstuffed carry
on with a broken wheel in the middle of the
night. Sam kept trying to reach me. Twelve
unread messages, seven missed calls, and
one voice mail. But I ignored them all and
kept walking. Reading these back again, I
wish I hadn't been so angry at him. I wish
I had picked up the phone. Maybe then
everything would be different.
Morning light comes through the
curtains as I lay curled in bed listening to
Sam's voice mail again.
"julie—you there?" Some laughter in the
background, and crackling from the
bonfire. "I'm so sorry! I completely spaced.
But I'm leaving now! Okay? just wait there!
Should only take me an hour. I know, I feel
Terrible. Please don't be mad. Call me back,
Okay?"
If only he'd listening to me and stayed
with his friends. If only he didn't forget
about me in the first place. If only he just
this once let me be upset instead of always
trying to fix things, no one would be
blaming me for what happened. I wouldn't
be blaming me.
I play the voice mail a few more times
before I delete everything. then I climb out
of bed and start upending drawers, looking
for anything that was Sam's or remind me
of him. I find photos of us, birthday cards,
movie ticket stubs, paper blossom, stupid
gifts like the stuffed lizard he won at the
town fair last fall, as well as every mix CD
he made me over the years (who even
burns CDs anymore?), and cram them all
into the box.
every day these little reminder of him
get harder to look at. They say moving on
becomes easier with time, but i can barely
hold a photo wothout my hands trembling.
My thoughts go to him, they always do. I
can't keep you around, sam. It makes me
think you're still here. That you're coming
back. That might see you again.
A/N- by page iuupload ko guys and I'll make sure mag eenjoy kayo in every page of the story , enjoy reading