I broke into another bunker today.
Another dead guy was in there, he looked cancer-struck because of the huge tumor looking thing sticking out of his face. I got a bunch of cans of food and luckily, a LOT of water. This guy definitely died of cancer. He had all his stuff behind a case that was sterilized so it should be fine if I just hold the jugs with a couple layers of gloves.
Besides that, the itch has been torturing me.
.
.
.
FINE! I'M GOING TO THAT STUPID TOWN TO VISIT!
I'm begrudgingly going there, just because I NEED human interaction. I enjoyed solitude, but even introverts need interaction once in a while. I'll bring my taser and can opener just in case. You can never be too safe.
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I immediately regret my decision. I have to keep my hands in my pockets to keep my weapons safe. Everyone here is shady.
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A nice-sounding, beautiful woman comes up to me.
"Hello."
"Hi."
"Are you new?"
"No I'm visiting, I live a couple miles out."
"Oh, I see. Are you here to trade?"
"Nah, just to talk to someone."
"Why don't you move here~ I'm sure a nice man like you would be a nice asset~" she says while caressing my shoulder.
She's pretty, but I ain't a simp.
"For what?"
"Breeding."
"Nah, I'm good."
"Come on, you can come with me~."
"Nah, I'd like to get to know someone first."
"You can get to know me in my room~."
"No thank you."
"I'm the prettiest white girl here. You into asians? blacks? mixed? arabs? polynesians? what?"
That's hella creepy.
"I care about personality, wouldn't wanna be with a thirst bot."
She looked offended and I was happy she was.
I look around and there seems to be a lot of women staring at me.
It looks like there's not many men around, it makes sense, a lot of men were drafted in the war, so their husbands and boyfriends all died. I could count the men on both hands that I could see, I don't see 200 people around, people are definitely in their homes. There's probably one man to like 5 women, it actually might be worse. I'm surprised not many women were drafted, in modern warfare, gender is mitigated by firepower.
Maybe I should take back the wanting for a wife. All these women look thirsty, and I'm not into thirsty ladies.
I run fast away from this town, I don't want to come back unless I need water, or to see the scientist. Maybe I could get him on my side somehow, but the stability of a town might not be worth it to him to leave and rebuild society elsewhere.
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While devising my plan, I get a knock on my bunker.
"WHO IS IT!" I yell.
"It's me!"
"Who?"
"President Lou."
"Get the hell away."
"I know you came to our town."
"And?"
"You pissed off a lot of thirsty women."
"Why do you care "Madame President."'"
"Just so you know, you're not gonna be able to trade much with us."
"That's fine."
"That means no water for you."
"You think I care?"
"I really do. You probably only have like a month or two worth of water left. And maybe a week after that."
"I have nothing to trade with y'all anyway unless y'all want mushrooms."
"Protein."
"Well I am growing mushrooms in my cave."
"Why don't you settle with us? You're smart, and a man."
"What's being a man got to do with anything?"
"You're single, most of the town is single women if you-"
"No thank you, I'm not a h*rndog."
"You don't have to be, just being a single, kinda handsome, tall man makes you able to sway the single women to keep me in power. Most men in our town are married or old widowers."
"I knew you had your reasons. I'll think about it."
"Well you know where to find me, start a fire and I'll have my army escort you away from the single thirsty women."
"I'll think about it honestly."
"You have a week."
"Alright."
"Good talk, also are you listening to dubstep? You got Youtube or sum m down there?"
"Yeah, you can tell I'm VERY prepared."
"That's why you could last so long, you had entertainment, I see the solar panels now, dang how many layers of plexiglass is that? That's enough to stop multiple turrets."
"Boredom would have killed me before dehydration without it."
"Smart. Well see ya later."
"Kay thanks, I'm gonna re-watch the last Super Bowl of the Yorhmuhmuhgx Melters vs. the Oklahoma Chargers."
"Wow...."
"Maybe if I trusted y'all, y'all could watch with me, but I don't want y'all to break my large flat screen, plexiglass, plasma TV with replacement motherboards so I could keep it til I die."
"Now you really piss me off, you got a game console down there too?"
"Yeah, sucker."
"Wowww."
"See ya Madame President!"
"I hate you."
"I know. Also of there's a single, kinda cute, non-thirsty woman you know, let me know who she is next pep talk."
"Only if you help me will I help you."
"Well, I'll start a fire if I decide to."
"Alright, see you Bunker Rat."
"Bye Madame President."
"I hate your sarcasm."
"Please leave and let me watch my football game please!"
"Fine, I'll go now jerk."