I see Tish coming but I don't move or say anything. I'm still just looking at the scenery and thinking. Tish sits next to me and bumps my shoulder with hers. Neither of us says anything, we just sit next to each other.
I'm not sure what she's thinking about (if anything), or if she is waiting on me to say something. I however don't have anything to say. all my thoughts are questions and memories of us up until now so I just stay quiet.
Tish: Shea can you look at me?
I turn to look her dead in the eyes, I know she sees my hurt and confusion, and I'm also sure she can't help but see the anger also. I still don't say anything though, I just look.
Tish: It wasn't that I was keeping things from you... I-I just didn't tell you because after you came out to me before you started dating Tori, I didn't see the need. I knew it wouldn't matter to you one way or the other so I was just waiting until there was a girl I liked and then I was going to tell you like you did me. Mom's blew that all to sh*t though.
I just continue to look at her. I'm not an emotional person at all but I am tearing up because this is so fuked up. There was a time I though Tish was hella sexy, don't get me wrong she still is but she's also my bestfriend now and I have too few friends to jeopardize our relationship.
Tish has long dark hair like Hershey chocolate, she has eyes that are green and hazel mix and she has a body that is thick and delicious. " Thick thighs save lives" is what I always think every time I see her. it a joke that I always use on her when we are talking about things we wish were different about ourselves and she mentions her build.
However we are strictly friend zoned after so many years so what she just says doesn't sit well with me. it actually makes me feel worse.
" Bestie, why didn't you just tell me?" I ask. Do you think that the day you fell for a woman and said " surprise im BI!" that would have been okay? I give her time to think about my question and just turn back to the view while I continued to think. So many questions, to much emotion. I love her, and this won't break us, but I need to get out of here.