I sometimes wonder if God will ever forgive me? I always wondered why this happened to me? I remember lying on the hospital bed and hearing machines beeping. A drip was in my hand. My hospital gown covered my entire body. Bradley, who I have known for a long time, sat next to me, waiting for me to wake up. Slowly I began opening my eyes. As soon as I woke up, I realized I was in a hospital.

Bradley softly said, "Hey."

"What happened?" I asked. "Where am I?"

Bradley tried to calm me down, he saw that I was starting to freak out. He said softly, "You're in the hospital." I looked around the room and saw that I was wearing a hospital gown. There was also a drip on my arm.

It occurred to me then.

I asked. "Where is Rebecca?"

Bradley sighed, looking like he had bad news. "Bradley, where is she?" I asked him. He swallowed, trying to compensate for my shock. "I'm sorry, Jessie." I started gasping for air, thinking it was impossible.

As soon as I learned about Rebecca's death, I began to cry. My freak out level increased. As Bradley continued to calm me down, I just killed Rebecca. Rebecca was dead.

Since we started college, Bradley and I have lived together. After graduation, I decided to look for a job. It has always been my dream to become a journalist. As for Bradley, he is a very talented artist. I have been writing since I was ten. In addition, I am an editor. I graduated from college and earned a degree in journalism when I was 21 years old. Journalism has always been my dream job. I met Rebecca when I was a freshman in college. Rebecca White was the sweetest girl. When I met Rebecca, my life changed forever. From then on, everything changed for me.

I promised Rebecca that I would attend her funeral. Bradley was getting ready for the funeral. I sighed as I sat on the living room couch. I was looking out the window at the city view.

As the funeral began, I sat silently on the church bench. Bradley sat next to me, and I remained silent the whole time. I sighed and just wanted the funeral to end. The preacher came in and started to speak.

Rebecca's parents were hosting an after party. I promised Rebecca that I would attend. All I heard was people whispering at a distance. But I wasn't paying attention to them. I was alone on the couch.

Bradley was talking with Rebecca's mother in the kitchen when I entered. I patted his back and he turned around. Bradley excused himself and asked me what I needed. I told him I was feeling sick and had to go home. He was understanding. He then drove me home. I can feel the sadness and anger building up inside me. As well as feeling guilty, I wanted to die. A few weeks later, I was seriously depressed. Since the funeral, I haven't eaten. I felt like such a burden.