I lay on the bed sideways, wrapped in patient clothes. Doctor Armando tried to talk to me and distract me so I wouldn't focus on the needles that were about to stab into my body through my spine. Doctor Karl was trying to kill time, standing in front of me while talking about trivial things.
He asked a lot of things about me, about my family background, why I chose medicine, and many other things. However, I don't have much to share with him. Stories about family are boring for me.
"Just tell me about you, Doc." I winced as I felt a pinching sensation on the back of my body. Maybe the needle had penetrated the skin and cavity in my spine by now. Furthermore, there is no significant feeling, only a numb feeling on the stabbed part because it has been given local anesthetic before.
"Yep! It's finished. Meanwhile you can lie down in the same position if you're worried that you still feel pain. But if you don't, you're free to change positions at any time," said Doctor Armando with a smile. Then handed a tube containing a sample from my body to a nurse and then asked her to take it to the laboratory immediately.
"We'll get the results in two to three days. So while you wait, you can rest and get the treatment you need." He then nodded to leave my room, leaving Doctor Karl and me alone.
I confirmed the sleeping position that was getting uncomfortable. Doctor Karl helped me shift by lifting my body slightly. He raised the bed so that my head was higher.
Feel better.
"Thank you, Doctor Karl. I don't know what I would be without your help."
"This is my duty. You don't have to be shy." The man pulled up a chair and sat beside my bed.
"Are you sure you don't want to contact your family?" asked the man, for who knows how many times. Since the first time he arrived here he always asked that. And I have said also explained to him many times.
I just shook my head, then fiddled with my knuckles.
"What's the matter, Jenna? You can tell me if you want."
"It's okay, Doc. I just didn't expect to suffer like this. Yes, although I rarely even exercise, my food is never careless."
Doctor Karl fell silent, took off his glasses.
"This case is rare, and sudden, Jenna. Not because your diet is unhealthy or anything. Blood disorders are possible even for newborns. We still have to think positive while waiting for the results. Then let's focus on healing. Okay?!" Doctor Karl patted the back of my hand gently, trying to give strength to me who was starting to lose my nerve.
"I'm ... scared, Doc," I said, barely audibly. He sighed in pity.
"I know. So do I."
I looked up at the words he just said. What do you mean, Doc?
But he seemed to have realized what he had said, and was too late to correct it. He rose from his place.
"I want to go out for a while to get some fresh air, do you want to come?"
"Can I?" I asked. He nodded with a gentle gaze that did not leave me. My heart trembled because of the feeling he sent through those eyes, as well as his treatment.
The man took a wheelchair from the corner of the room, then helped me up slowly, and sat on the object that was ready near me. Before pushing me out of the room, he took off his white coat and hung it behind the door.
"It's better like this," he said, then began to slowly push my wheelchair out of the room.
***
Doctor Karl stopped a chair under a shady tree, and a bench in front of it. He turned my wheelchair to face the bench and sat there. We are dealing now.
He, who was only wearing a shirt at the moment, rolled up the sleeves, and unbuttoned the top button.
"Is it all right for you to accompany me here?" I asked him, who was now sitting on the bench. His eyes wandered around the garden, only a few people passing by and children playing, running.
A ball rolled and stopped right under his feet. He took the round object in both hands, looking in the direction it had come from. Not long after, a child about three years old came over, intending to take the ball from Doctor Karl's hands.
"Is this your ball?" asked the man crouching down to be at the boy's height. The boy nodded and smiled showing his missing teeth. He handed the ball to the child in front of him. "Here, take it!"
"Thank you, Uncle. I hope your wife gets well soon," he said as he turned to me. I was stunned to hear the words that came out of his tiny lips.
"Eh, th-that ...." Before he could say anything else, the boy had already run to his parents who were sitting on the grass, waiting for him to come back.
I glanced at Doctor Karl, so did he. Then we both looked away.
Okay, this feels awkward.
"Uhm, I think we should go back. Doctor Armando asked me to see him, there is something he wants to talk about," said Doctor Karl and then got up from the bench, about to push my wheelchair.
"No need, Doc. I still want to be here," I stopped, smiling at him. Reassure him I'm fine.
The man sat back down and looked me in the eye. "I won't be long," he said. I nodded and then he left.
I'm still sitting in the fresh air in the late spring afternoon. Enjoying whatever I might not be able to enjoy after this. But if the results that appear are not too scary, let's just say I'm hitting the jackpot.
***
"Jenna? You're awake." Those gray irises were the first thing I saw when I opened my eyes. Where am I? Is it still in the park?
"W-why am I here? Isn't it ...?" I asked, confused, looking around and found I was in the room again. Oh, this disease makes me like having hallucinations over and over again. Is it possible that walking in the park is also a hallucination?
"You passed out in the park. Luckily it happened just as I got there. How are you feeling?" asked Doctor Karl. I closed my eyes trying to remember anything he might need. But not a single piece of the puzzle worked out in my brain.
"I can't remember anything before. The last time I remember, you were gone. And I don't feel anything now. Is that normal?"
Doctor Karl didn't budge. It was like putting the pieces together as if it was an important thing he had to do.
"Doctor Karl, is it normal for me to faint but not feel any complaints?" I asked again. He sighed, sounding heavier.
"You shouldn't. Maybe you're tired. How are the bruises on your body still there?"
I lifted my arm, the bruise was still there. Also in some other parts, in the hands and feet.
"It's okay, you're safe for now." He pointed to the IV hanger with his chin.
I groan in annoyance. That red liquid ... again.
"I'm like a vampire now," I whined. He laughed for a moment then looked at me with a shady look, like he always did.
"You can get through this, Jenna."
"Is it possible that I'm seriously ill?" I asked. I will keep asking until I get a definite answer to all of this.
"I don't know. My guess isn't that bad, just a blood disorder. But we should wait for the results. Doctor Armando said, tomorrow you'll know. Let's hope for the best."
I nodded weakly. The man fell silent again. Come on, Doc, say something so my mind doesn't wander anymore.
"Uhm, Doc. What do I look like now? I haven't looked in the mirror for a few days. Can I borrow a mirror? I want to see my face before calling someone."
Doctor Karl nodded. "I'll borrow someone. You wait here."
He went out for a while then came back after a few minutes, a mirror in his hand.
He handed it over to me, then raised the bed so that it was higher. Slowly, somewhat hesitantly, I pointed the mirror at my face. Staring at the reflection of the face in front of me. Not much different from before, except for the pale color and thinner face proportions. At least I'm still alive, that's enough even though for a moment I was surprised by what I saw.
I was silent, put the mirror on the nightstand.
"What's wrong? Why are you suddenly gloomy?" asked Doctor Karl. I've been trying to hold on to this ever since. Maybe even from a few days before. This time, I can't seem to do it.
I let the warm tears flow from the corners of my eyes. My chest is tight. Not because of changes in the face and skin, but more than that. What I've been through these past few days, away from everyone just because I don't want to be pitied, or don't want special treatment. Very unpleasant.
I feel lonely. Especially what was reflected in the mirror earlier. Adds a sense of sadness in my heart.
"Ssh ... it's okay, Jenna. It's okay. You'll be fine. Changes in your skin and face color are temporary, but after you get the right treatment, you'll get better."
He sat on the side of the bed and took me into his arms. Let me sob and spill my feelings for a while. Before then I walked away from him. Still with the remaining sobs.
He looked at my face. Wiping away the tears still dripping down my cheeks.
"You're beautiful, Jenna. Nothing has changed. Still the same as before."
I looked up at the handsome face. He nodded reassuringly. For a moment my heart and mind strayed into the gray eyes of the man who was also looking back at me. Until someone came in and found us still in our current position.
***