"I am noticing a distinct lack of curly-q sideburns and turbans." I started as I sat on a throne in Ceasar's Palace, Las Vegas looking out at the assembled leadership of the Unified Faith.
The former Pope, who had a seat nearby in the convention hall, coughed and raised his hand to speak.
"Dear Lord, the Jews… think you are a bad guy." he stated while tugging at his collar to relieve some heat.
I sat there on a black marble throne, wearing armor made from two evil dragons with my mace and shield nearby, and my resting cool guy face ruined by the pure shock of the moment.
"They think I'm a bad guy? No way." I flatly denied, "You better not be trying to pull something clever on me."
A giant bald man who looked like an Astartes in a frock raised his hand and I acknowledged him.
"It is beyond us as well to understand how the Jews could reject such a wonderful god, especially after you killed all the vampires, and the werewolves, and the pedophiles." Vasco Strada stated with a solid grin on his face.
"Don't remember ordering the werewolves to be killed, but good on you guys for getting proactive." I nodded to the man, "Now why aren't the Muslims here?"
"Achem!" The Pope coughed uncomfortably again and raised his hand, "Sir, after you strict condemnation of the Prophet Muhammed, police be upon him, you have been declared an enemy of Islam."
"Enemy of Islam…" I mused, "I don't remember ever condemning Muhammed…"
"It was when you declared that all pedophiles are to be killed and will burn in Hell for all time." the Pope clarified.
"Hehe… that would do it." I smiled.
"Indeed with the Prophet Muhammed, police be upon him, serving as the ultimate Muslim example of the highest moral integrity and role model, and you declaring that he is burning in Hell…" the Pope left off while looking super uncomfortable.
"Fuck 'em." I declared, "If her age is on the clock, fucking put away your cock! I made a damn rhyme for it. How fucking hard is it for people to get behind this shit. Fuck 'em, we will kill the Muslims and the Jews too when Operation Justus starts."
"Do you mean Justice, Sir?" someone in the second row asked.
"No, Justus. Just us. Because when the operation is over it will be just us left." I corrected his misunderstanding.
Once the Exorcists finally stopped cheering I pulled up an image of Mount Olympus on the projector. Gilded white marble palaces sitting on a mountaintop over the clouds replete with flowers and fruit bearing trees fed my many waterfalls.
It was fucking resplendent.
"In twenty five days we march on Olympus to kill all the Greek gods, rape all the goddesses, and take all their shit." I announced, "Any questions."
"Do we have to rape all the goddesses?" a man in the third row asked.
"Well… you guys wont be raping anyone, I'll be doing all that." I answered.
"What if she is ugly?" another inquired.
"Well obviously if she is ugly she's getting the axe instead of the cock." I responded in an exacerbated tone.
"What if she is in disguise?" he inquired further.
"No one is pulling a fast one on me." I grinned, "My beer goggles are set to magical x-ray. No hidden Hephaestus for me."
The meeting went on and one like that for hours as I Q and A'd my newly unified religion, leaving me with a killer social interaction migraine and quite exhausted when I returned to the villa I 'rented' with Yasaka and the girls.
I found my foxy wife on the terrace overlooking the pools aptly named 'The Gardens of the Gods'. Down below, hundreds of people partook in water based fun and games.
"I find myself missing Kyoto." Yasaka stated, "Being away, it was always a fantasy of mine, and now I have it, and I am homesick."
"I feel the same way about my home. I have been away over a century and even been to a really… really weird alternate reality version. Home pulls on the heart strings." I agreed as I slipped a hand up her kimono.
Not reacting even as I played with her wondrous ass cheeks, the big tiddie fox milf continued observing the mortals, "Why did you reveal your plan to the humans? Now the Olympians know you are coming, they have time to fortify, plot, seek out allies."
"Now you are getting the real plan." I grinned as I stuffed a finger up her ass and finally got that reaction I was looking for, "I want the Greeks as armed to the teeth as they can possibly be. I want them to do things that surprise me. I want them to find everyone they can to help out."
"Why drag things out?" she shuddered as I worked her over.
"Because I want to… give them the send off that they deserve." I smiled, "These assholes have been in charge for millennia. All of them claim to have created the world and everything in it. Now they have the chance to prove they aren't full of shit. I want them to fight back as hard as they can. Maybe someone will surprise me, like Gil yeeting another Heracles at me. Not likely, but it could happen."
"Only you hope your enemies are stronger than you think they are." Yasaka gasped as I worked another finger in her.
"A guy can dream." I smirked as I threw her over my shoulder and carried her to the nearest bed.
To describe Yasaka's body as a wonderland is to fall short of the mark, to sin. I own all things and she is my most beautiful acreage. I am honestly tempted to chuck her into a cultivation verse and watch all those knuckle dragging chimp brained troglodytes fight to the death in wars caused by her appearance. For fucks sake if I wasn't such a disagreeable do it my way only bastard she would have me wrapped around her finger tighter than her cunt around my cock.
And that is fucking tight boys.
Room service is going to have a hell of a time cleaning up as I nearly nutted my soul into her in my single minded focus to induce a pleasure based coma upon her, and as I saw her eyes role up into her head and her body go slack I collapsed on top of her and grinned as sleep overtook me and the singularity called upon me with its siren song.
Time to rally the girls and have some old friends for dinner.