The time read 10:36 as I looked at the same stores clock. I think about mom for a second. How she was supposed to show up a few weeks ago and never did. The look of sympathy plastered on Aunt Cheris face that night. I think about if it's positive, and I wonder if Aunt Cheri will kill me and kick me out or help me. I'm too scared to know. I push the thought out.
I go up to the pharmacist and ask her if the pregnancy test I pick out is any good.
"It's 99.9 percent." She pauses. "How old are you sweetie?"
"Does it really matter?" I snap at her.
She scans the pregnancy test and gives me the total.
"You should probably buy some condoms for next time." She adds.
I grab some gummy worms with my test and flip her off.
I speed back home and immediately head towards the bathroom.
While I wait for results, Josh texts me.
"I'm sorry"
I leave it on read. I have bigger things to worry about.
How would Alan even find out?
Suddenly there's a knock on the door.
I leave the test on the sink and close the bathroom door behind me.
I head towards the door and look through the peephole.
It was a neighbor that lived down the street. She had a plate with her. It was covered with foil. I open the door.
"Hello Miss." she says. She has a southern accent "I just wanted to see how you were doing. My names Charlotte Winnie, I saw the altercation between that other boy and yourself."
Winnie? Like Alice Winnie?
"Oh I'm holding up alright, thank you ma'am." I pause. "Say, are you Alice's grandma?" I ask.
"Sure am. Do you know my sweet angel?" She paused. "Well anyways I'm sorry for calling the cops but I baked you a cake." I take the plate from her. "I'll be on my way."
"Thank you for saving me." I say. "Alice was a good friend until she fucked that guy you saw." I smile and shut the door on her.
I run upstairs and go to check the test.
~
Flashback:
A couple weeks back on a Saturday afternoon,
Aunt Cheri spent the whole day cooking. She made lasagna, salad, and was currently baking some brownies. I had gotten them out of the oven for her as she finished getting ready. It was almost time for a family dinner with my egg donor's new family. Just another thirty minutes.
In the mean time, I fixed the table. I set four plates since I assumed the new baby would have his own seat on a baby chair.
I even brought out a bottle of good wine and set out wine glasses. Aunt Cheri didn't care if I drank.
After Aunt Cheri was ready we had waited for twenty more minutes. They were late and a part of me started to get sad. I was actually sad that I set up the plates and my mom was probably not going to show up. A part of me wanted to cry. Just not in front of Aunt Cheri. After another ten minutes of just sitting there Aunt Cheri stands up. She turns her back to me and starts serving us, never locking eye contact with me while doing so.
When she brings me my plate, she apologized.
"I'm so sorry." She puts her hand on mine. She rubs her thumb across my hand.
"It's fine." I fake smile at her. Deep down I knew this would happen but for some reason that night, I wish it didn't.
After we're done with dinner, Aunt Cheri hugs me tightly.
"I'm so sorry." She pets the end of my hair. She grabs my shoulders then looks at me. "I'll never force you to talk to her again." She rubs my shoulders.
"It's okay." I try not to cry but I feel my eyes getting watery and my throat getting hot.
"I love you sweetie." She wraps her arms around me once again. "There's nothing in this world I wouldn't do for you."
~
A few days go by without speaking to Josh. By Friday, I decided I was over it. Celeste still hasn't been to school much. She showed up for half a day the day after I comforted her. Josh told me not to worry.
"I don't know how you don't worry." I say as we're grabbing our food in the cafeteria.
"I do worry I just try not to by distracting myself. She'll get through it. We'll be there for her." Josh says. He gets his food too and we go through the line slowly today.
I wait for us to go sit down away from all the noise. Once we do I hit him with a question.
"Do I really remind you of Alice?" I finally ask him. We're sitting on one of the tables behind the math building. No people nearby to hear us. He flicked around with his fingers. I made him nervous.
"I don't know why I said that.." he pauses. "I'm sorry. Alice was so selfish when Anne passed. It's just for a moment there.." he sighs. "I shouldn't have said that and I'm sorry." I laugh at him.
"How come you made a move on Alice but not me?" I take a spoonful out of my soup. "I mean after all you said you didn't care for her but that you liked me?" He laughs awkwardly.
"You sure we should talk about her?" He scratches the back of his head. "She's old news anyway. I heard she goes to South now."
"I don't care about her life now." I say between bites. "I just want to know if I'm prettier than she ever was on a good day then why aren't I pretty enough to date too?"
"First of all I didn't date her." He coughs. He sounds disgusted. "I just boned her. She wanted to date but she knew how in love with you…" he stops himself.
"You're in love with me?" I ask, smiling.
"No?" He says trying to pretend he didn't say that. I laugh. "I mean…" he chuckles nervously.
"I think I have feelings for you too." I add. I touch his hand across the table. "But there's something you should know." I manage to say although my body doesn't like the soup. Not like it used to.
"You can tell me anything. What is it?" He asks. He brushes his thumb against mine.
"I like girls…" I say but my stomach feels like it twists. It's in knots , something awful. "And…" I burp. "Sorry." I laugh nervously.
"And what? What is it?" His facial expression changes to worried.
"I'm…" and before I know it chunks are all over Josh. I gasp. "Pregnant."