It's early morn' and it feels as if I had been in a train wreck. My eyes are puffy and my head is filled with fluff. Today would be my first day back in class. Why does it feel like yesterday's made up lie, is about to strike the fan? Something I've started but in all truthfulness want no part in. The empty grave is waiting for my arrival. I'd rather die a virgin, than give myself over to someone that I couldn't possibly love half as much.
I opened the water, regulated the temperature and climbed into the shower. I could hear Yuuki's voice even over the running water. He greeted her. Violette. Also better known as his kissing mate. I sat down on the wet tiles hugging my legs. Crying some more. The water washed over me, mingling with my tears. "Perhaps you shouldn't join class just yet. You're clearly still upset. Just so that you know, I'm not angry at the little fact that you've been lying to me. I know that Yugaya's just a figment of your imagination. I hope that you will share when the time is ripe." I cried out even louder. Silently thanking God that I don't have to worry about it any longer. I tuned in to the conversation between the two love birds. Feeling sick to my stomach. He told her how sweet it had been of her to not have any angry feelings towards me, which obviously led to another kiss. I can't take this anymore. A few moments later, I sat in a half dried off bundle with dripping wet hair on the wooden floor. Back against the bed. Dialing home, again.
"Ain't you supposed to be in class?" My brother asked at once when he answered the phone. "I feel like I've been in a head on head collision. Been crying all night long. My eyes are all puffy and red rimmed." I came clean. "Renski told me everything after you hung up. Confined in me? It'll be just like the olden days." I could hear the smile in his voice. "I've actually called to have a word with your wife, if that's okay with you?" I questioned skeptically. "Unfortunately she's still asleep. You will have to talk to me." I contemplated, not feeling too sure or comfortable about it. "You know, back in the day I've asked Rei to keep an eye out for you. Silly me totally forgot to mention your name. Secretly I wanted him to be your knight in shining armor if ever you were to cross paths. But then he met Sakura, and I knew that it was wishful thinking." I stared down at the floor before me. "You know Sakura?" He answered with an 'uhm' which invited some freshly brewed tears. Extra salty. Just the way I like it. "Don't cry, please? I'm sure that Yuuki would eventually fall for you too. Sure it feels like your world is falling apart. But all will be fine," he assured me. How would he know? I've never experienced anything like this before. "If your up for it, I'll come and get you. Unfortunately in that scenario you'll have to face Mr. Jackass which has been hanging around a lot lately." Finally I decided to add, "Seeing him would be nothing compared to this. What about school?" An unwelcomed sniff escaped. "Okay, tell you what. How about being transferred to this academic program? It's nothing like your used to, but at least you won't have to cry yourself to sleep." He offered a solution to my problem. I told him that I have to think about it. Even though I know that I can't have my bread buttered both sides. After he informed me to make a decision before week' end, so that he could obviously make the necessary arrangements, we greeted.
It would be weird, not being able to use my abilities for the better good. And- there's the issue of being the new kid all over again. If I decide to go ahead with the transfer. I would feel much lighter and maybe even fall in love with a mortal. I've always wondered what that would feel like.
Uninvited, Hachioji waltzed straight in. She shut the door behind her and made herself comfortable on my bed. "Okay spill? You've been a mess ever since you had arrived yesterday. I don't believe, for a minute, that it's all Toki's doing. And don't think that I can be bluffed by your fictional character either!" She spat. I looked up at her dumbfounded. My eyes asked the question. She arched her brows. I gave a loud sigh, tears brimming shallowly within my gaze. "Scarlett, come on- out with it? We've known each other for a long time. What's really going on with you?" She asked, her voice drowning in sympathy. I stood up, my knees buckled a little and sat down beside her on the bed. "I envy Violette," my whisper barely noticable. My heart torned to pieces. I can't keep my tears from spilling. "Why in heavens name would you- Oh...." She swallowed down a lump that stuck to her throat. Exhaling loudly she continued: "Now I see- well that's totally screwed up! Why didn't you choose Yuuki from the beginning, you could have avoided all of this you know?" I looked up at her with a tear streaked face. "Because I was an idiot!" I choked through my tears. My heart sunk into my stomach. She consoled me, or tried to at least, but it's no use.