When we've reached my friends' dormitory the Friday afternoon- my parents showed up. Father told me that they're to run some errands and would much like me to join them. "Go on, you deserve it. Spend some quality time with your folks," Haro told me with a broad smile that could light up the darkest of nights. Most of my friends agreed with him, apart from one. I stole a peek at Lee, wanted to know if he approved. He simply looked down at me and said never mindedly, "What do I care? Do as you please! In anyway, you'll just get in my way-" Within his words torned me to pieces. I never even saw it coming. Tears were burning behind my eyelids. My mood had fallen in such a manner that it's clearly readable on my face. As I walked away, Toki's sudden remark pulled at my heartstrings. "Really dude? Hurting our princess's feelings seems like a shallow thing to do!" I forced a smile upon my lips. Fear that if I don't, tears are sure to follow.
Jess, Violette and I joined my folks. They made a trip to the centrum downtown. While we, my friend and I, took some time in window shopping; my family went into another direction altogether. The news they've entrusted me with, pestered through my mind. Dad informed me how I'm supposed to pack up my belongings when we reach the dormitory and that I'll be heading back home for good. Unfortunately they can't afford to put me through another semester. Mom told me that I should spend as much time as I possibly could with Violette.
I want to become a Lector, therefore I've been taking History and Greek Mythology. I've learned so much in History so far. Things they've never even dared to mention in high school. Professor Hotness taught me that in 660 B.C, Jimmu Tenno became Japan's first emperor. From the Russo-Japanese war in 1904-1905 to the earthquake which stroked the Tokyo-Yokahama area in 1923. The death Gods claimed 143,000 lives during thus life changing incident. The allied occupation of Japan ended in 1952. I can't help but wonder what his next teachings could possibly be. This sucks! It looks like my dream is coming to a unexpected end.
As we walked along an elder yet friendly man stopped us and asked: "How observant are you? Find out by guessing my riddle. Answer correctly and win a voucher which you could use as you please..." Violette convinced me to give it a try. What am I to lose? I nod my head in agreement. He clapped his hands happily together, gave them a rub and pulled a card from his top hat. A smile formed upon his complexion as he read:
"I might be big,
or I could be small
I love to ask questions
Therefore I am smart.
Once I'm open
My secret's revealed.
What am I?"
I arched my brows as I contemplated about the answer. Well if it could be any size, it needs to depend on weight too. So it's something that can differ from size and weight, which seems to be extremely clever and it can open up. I snapped my fingers together. "I know. It's a book." He smiled at me warmly after an enthusiastic, ting-ting-ting. He congratulated me and handed over my price. Violette and I shared it. Now with a necklace around her neck, she'll always have me close to her heart. It sounds kind of cheesy come to think of it.
After a quick stop at the chemistry, night creeps in quickly. The sky is covered in a grey cloak. Promised with rain. As is my heart heavy with tears. I'm a cloudburst ready for destruction. Sadness overwhelmed me. I don't want to say goodbye; not now. Not yet! Why did it have to come to this? Why do I have to return to that crappy, empty apartment in their backyard? All my myself with nobody to hold. I don't want to be alone anymore.
Inside our, soon to be hers, dorm room; Violette helps me up my belongings. We loaded it into the trunk of the car. My dad look down at his watch and hummed: "You should say your goodbyes. I'll give you an hour at most. Would like to hit the road at nine sharp." I called a 'Thank you dad' from over my shoulder as I rushed away.
I would very much like to tell Lee what he means to me. How he makes me feel? No, I think it's best to settle down with only a goodbye. I'll keep my greetings to a minimum. If I'm to greet 'em all, I'll be sure to cry. I'm such a softie these days. I stood at the foot of their door, wondering wither or not I'm too knock. Should I or shouldn't I? I feel like I might run away with my tail dangling between my legs. Finally after a long contemplation I gave in and knocked. Yuuki opened the door and greeted me with a warm smile. My knees wants to give way so badly. I swallowed down a heap of saliva. He answered my question with a question, which I had yet to ask. "Are you sure? He's much like nr. 6. I'm sure you know what I mean by that?" I simply couldn't seem to find my words. I don't feel to sure about it at the moment, still I nodded. There's simply no denying it, Yuuki isn't a child anymore. I couldn't help myself as to think while he called upon Lee, informing him that someone's waiting for him at the door. 'Who can it possibly be at this God forsaken hour?' I faintly heard him ask. "Oh, it's you! What do you want?" He didn't let a second go to waist, when he reached the door. "I'm sorry, for clearly being a bother at this unfortunate hour. I just came to say goodbye." I'm trying so hard to be brave eventhough it feels as if my heart had fallen into my stomach. I turn my face away from him. I couldn't let him see me breaking under the pressure. "Wait," he said in a mere whisper as he grabbed hold onto my wrist. Warm tears started flowing down my cheeks. An uncomfortable silence hung in the air, when his words washed over me on the wings of a breath. "I've been aware of your feelings for quite some time now. I'm not the man for you, Scarlett! You need somebody who won't run away nor leave you waiting for the mere notification that he's still among the living. I'm sorry for acting like a jackass, but I thought that if I pushed you away it would make the situation easier. I couldn't have been any more wrong! You are so beautiful yet you deserve so much more than I could ever give you. Please, try to understand?" He sighs loudly before concluding, "At least this will make your decision easier to make. As much as it breaks me to say this, I have seen how you've fawned over Toki. It's no secret you know!" I looked up at Lee with gleaming eyes, freed my hand from his firm grip and ran away.
I don't even know how much time had passed. And I don't care! At least I know that I don't stand a sliver of a chance with Lee. It's more that Toki ever said. I came to a halt in front of the campus' indoor swimming pool. Glimmering in the streak of moonlight that shines through the high windows. With elegant hands, I made tiny movements above the water. Making it raise and fall back into place. Splashing it across the tiles. He was right though, with him out of the picture, makes my choice so much easier. But can I really choose somebody who made me wait for so long? And how can I choose if apparently my heart doesn't even know what she wants in life...?