"So you mean to tell me that Skyler finally confessed and you didn't say yes?!" Ivy exclaimed as she was looking over a dress rack.
I called her over. After I read Skyler's note, I felt like something was missing. I suddenly felt alone so I called Ivy and invited her to go to the mall. I don't want to be inside my house, it feels empty.
"Why would I say yes?" I asked back.
"Because you're here moping after he left. Girl, you like the guy. Accept it. You probably like him since that night you slept with him. You're not the type to randomly sleep with a guy." Ivy explained.
"I know I like him but I'm not sure if I like him enough to date him." I explained.
"Then date him. Skyler's right, you know. You guys don't get to meet each other often. If you want to go on dates to get to know him more, you'll probably be old by then. Dating is a kind of getting to know one another too. So why not try dating him?" Ivy asked.
"But…" I tried to think of a reason but I couldn't think of anything.
"What are you scared of?" She asked.
"It'll be a long distance relationship and we hardly know each other. He could have a girlfriend there for all I know." I said.
"Do you think he's the type of guy to do that?" Ivy asked as she finally decided on the clothes before dragging me to a dressing room.
"I don't know. I don't know him that well." I replied.
"But you did sleep with him, you know. In case, he already has a girlfriend." Ivy pointed out as she put me in a dressing room and handed me clothes she picked for me to try them.
"I don't need new clothes and that was a one night stand." I said when she gave me the clothes to try.
"You need them. Even if it's a one night stand, you still did it with a man you claimed to be taken. " Ivy said.
"Should I just ask him?" I asked her.
"Why don't you go to country Y and surprise him?" Ivy suggested.
"I might be the one who'll get a surprise when he's so busy, he can't meet me." I answered.
"Then call him and tell him you'll be visiting him. That will give you peace of mind. So other than LDR is there anything else that's stopping you from dating him? And no, you shouldn't care about his age as long as he's legal then it's fine." Ivy said.
What else am I scared of?
"What if the relationship fails? What if we dated and it didn't work out? What if we can't be friends anymore after that?" I asked.
"How will you know if you don't try? It's not like you're going into a relationship for it to fail, right? Of course, you will try your best to make it work." Ivy explained and I pondered about what she said.
Is it really that easy?
"You know what, he said he'll wait, right? Then make him wait. Give yourself time to think it over and over and over until you're satisfied. I also want you to think about this. Can you imagine yourself doing what you did with Skyler with another man? How would you feel if he gave up on you and decided to date another girl?" Ivy asked.
I don't know the answer to that question. Ivy and I have a different way of doing things. Ivy's a straightforward person. She's confident in herself while I'm an overthinker, a coward, and has no self confidence in myself.
I did think of what it would be like dating Skyler in those 5 days we were together but I never thought he would be asking me out.
I heard my phone ring and saw that Skyler was calling me.
"Hey, how are you? Are you already awake? I reached my house." He asked.
"Yeah, I'm already awake. I'm actually outside with Ivy now." I replied.
"Wow, you're outside your house! Did pigs begin to fly now?" He teased me.
No but you've left.
"Hey Fay, there are other people going to use the dressing room. Are you done?" Ivy asked from the outside.
"Yes, just a minute." I answered her.
"Hey Sky, Can I call you back when we get home?" I asked.
"Yeah sure. Happy shopping." He replied.
We ended our call and I finished changing my clothes. Even though Ivy forced me into the dressing room, I actually do like the clothes she had chosen. I'm very bad when it comes to fashion, it's a good thing I have a friend that's great with it.
I came out and showed her the clothes that I liked.
We paid for it and continued to shop some more. Ivy didn't talk about Skyler anymore. I guess she had already said her piece.
March was already ending and April was approaching, what does it mean? It means my company's yearly appraisal is coming up soon. I hope my grade is not too low this year.
"Sky, I'm nervous. What if my score this year is bad?" I told him as we were eating dinner together while video calling.
"I don't think that's gonna happen. You've worked hard these past year so I'm sure you didn't get a bad grade." Skyler consoled me.
After he left country Y after he confessed, we still kept in touch like nothing happened though sometimes Skyler would drop some hints about the confession and I try to ignore it.
I still have no idea what to do with his confession. Should I just date him? I mean I do like him and I could learn more about him if we dated.
"You're right." I sighed.
"What's wrong?" Skyler asked.
"The same thing that was wrong almost a year ago. Can you believe it? It'll be a year since we met in May." I said.
"Yeah. Time flies so fast. I wish there's something I could do to help you with your problem." He said.
"It's alright. No one can help me but myself." I said.
"Hmm… What can you picture doing this time next year?" He asked.
"The thing I'm doing right now." I replied sadly.
"But you have no plans of changing your career, right?" He asked.
"Yeah. I mean if I change my career, I also don't know what to change it to." I explained.
"Then how about your career goals?" He asked.
"Goals?" I asked back.
"Yeah, have you ever thought I wanted to open my own company or become a manager or something like that?" He asked.
"I did think I wanted to be a project manager but seeing project managers now, I realize I don't like what they were doing. I don't like being stuck writing documents and meetings." I explained.
"Then is there anything you'd want to do now?" He asked.
"I… think I want to be a software architect. I think I prefer that path to being a PM." I replied.
"Then why don't you aim for that?" He asked.
"I need extensive knowledge to be one. I'm not good enough." I replied sadly.
"Then you just need to be good enough." He replied.
"Is it that easy?" I asked, annoyed.
"Yeah. You're the one making it complicated. If you think you lack knowledge then you study to get some knowledge or you could take training, right?" He said and I stared at him.
What he said makes sense. He's right, after all, it's not like you become a system architect overnight.
"You're right. Why haven't I thought of that?" I replied and smiled.
"Because you overthink too much. We've known each for almost a year now and that's what I noticed about you." He replied.
"Do I?" I asked unconsciously.
"Yeah. I mean it's not like there's something wrong with that if you want to be on the safe side but you know, sometimes in life you need to take a risk like that time when you slept with me. You took a risk with me and now here we are, me confessing my love for you." He said.
I blushed when he said that. Why does he need to bring that up? It's already been a year since that happened. Wait a minute. It's almost been a year now and yet...
"Now that I think about it. We've known each other for almost a year now but how come I don't know when your birthday is." I said when I remembered this and Skyler laughed.
"Why are you laughing? It already passed, didn't it?" I asked, shocked.
"It did. Don't worry, you celebrated it with me. We even had dinner together. Feb 27. The first day of our vacation." He explained.
"Why didn't you tell me? I could have bought you a cake and wished you a happy birthday. I could have thrown you a party too." I said lamenting the fact that it had passed and we just stayed in the room sleeping.
"You can do that next year." He replied and I pouted.
He should have told me about it. I could have at least bought him a cake.
"Now that you know mine. How about yours?" He asked.
"It's during summer. June 23." I replied.