"You guys look excited." Kakashi and Yamato arrived as Kakashi commented on our silent group with his typical laughing eyes and face masked. I was always a fan of Kakashi and at the same time I hated him. He was a known genius with the first ninja who became a jounin at age 12. He mastered the lightning chakra at an early age, creating his own S-class ninjutsu, Chidori. He's learned dozens of different jutsus over the years, using the Sharingan in the only clever way that most members of this clan of arrogant bastards ignore, which is by copying his enemies' jutsus and augmenting his own jutsu library.
As for the side I hated... your unnecessary psychosis with Obito. His depression that I suspected had to do with the implanted sharingan. Besides the fact that he hasn't taught Naruto anything since he became his sensei, other than the basics of chakra control. In that case, there wouldn't even be a need to teach the blonde anymore, as I already did that when we became friends. It was a possible way to make him able to use the basic clone jutsu, which unfortunately didn't work even then. Anyway, the current Naruto already knew how to climb trees with chakra and channel it efficiently and without too many unnecessary expenses. You can see this from the lessening of the smoke when he casts the shadow clone.
"Hatake Kakashi, Kakashi from Sharingan, the ninja who copies." I commented coldly. "I always had a question about you that I would like to clear..."
"Oh... do you know me?" He asked still smiling with his eyes.
"My nii told me about you." I replied.
"I see... what's your question?"
I took a deep breath before starting.
"Do you wear this mask because it's too ugly or do you have a very developed sense of smell? If the latter is the case, are you related to the Inuzuka clan in any way? If none of the cases then what is the reason? Do you have thick lips? Or maybe a scar like Ibiki-san's? Or maybe you are a woman disguised as a man? I mean there has never been any rumors about you sleeping with anyone and this is a ninja village, if you had done something like that everyone would know quickly unless you have lovers outside the village which is not recommended as they would be in danger outside…you should bring them here in case your enemies find out about them…" I questioned almost without pausing between questions, leaving everyone inside the room in awed bewilderment.
"Well... I'll leave these questions for the future after all which ninja reveals their secrets." He said, which left me a little disappointed.
"Very well, Kakashi-Ossan." I spoke defiantly hoping he would curse me for calling him that and ignored him after that. "You must be our designated jounin-sensei, Yamato-san." I walked over to the other man in the otherwise silent room.
"Yes."
"Well, refreshing." I smiled at her simple, straightforward answer. "Since this is the case what do we need to do for now? What kind of test will you give us?" I asked him.
"Do you know about the tests?" Yamato frowned with slight displeasure.
"Well, it was obvious that we would be tested since the academy's approval rating is 66%, so it makes sense that not all genin would become effective ninjas with a jounin like sensei… that was the reason I used the San instead of Sensei, Yamato-san." I explained my reasoning.
"You are smart." He smiled. "Anyway, introduce yourself… You're his two friends. Their names, age, likes, dislikes, goals...
"Introduce yourself first, Yamato-san." Haku said smiling and Kimimaru nodded in agreement.
"Well, I'm Yamato, as you already know. I'm a jounin from Konoha and I'm 24 years old. I like forests and dango. I don't like traitors and bandits. I also don't like rapists and expensive prices. My goal has already been reached which was to become a jounin." He finished with a sigh, I suppose uncomfortable from talking too much. "You now."
Kakashi looked amused watching our little group. I still felt kind of confused by the fact that he didn't call us to the roof of the gym or at least call his genin with him. Apparently he was too curious about our little group to leave. That and I was a pornography book writer and he was one of the men who read my writings openly. In fact, he was the only one who exposed it to the world.
And I was not ashamed to say that I wrote those books, because, being honest, I don't think it was any reason to be ashamed. It was a well-paying job and I had fans everywhere thanks to it, becoming a public figure provided another layer of protection even though I supposedly didn't need any more. At least not with humans on this planet. I should start preparing for the family of pale people who will invade in a few years.
"I am Haku. I am 13 years old. I like flowersand medical ninjutsu. I also like dango and pizza. I don't like those who are against Ryu-Sama and green vegetables. My goal is to help Ryu-Sama with his dreams." Haku said smiling and it made me even more confused about him. Cute trap devils! I hope I don't succumb to this cliche fetish in the future. Nothing against being attracted to girly boys, after all I was about to throw my mental blocks in the air and fuck the boy's tight ass, but I still wanted to keep some idiosyncrasies from my past life.
"I'm Kimimaru and I like to train. I don't like to waste time and my goal is to protect Ryu-Sama for as long as I live." It was simple and succinct. Apparently more than Yamato.
"Well my name is Ryu, Akashi Ryu and I'm 13 this year. I like learning new things, writing and drawing, as well as delicious food and chess. I like my friends too. There are many, but I prefer spending time with Shikamaru because he's smart and doesn't leave me feeling like an old man among kids. I don't like ugly things or unjustified violence. I also don't like rapists, closed spaces or high-pitched shrill sounds like the tone of voice of a certain pink-haired banshee... Well, is that it I think?... oh, my goal is to have a huge harem with beauties of all types and bodies." I spoke with fairness and a gleam in my eyes that frightened adult ninjas.
"Do you want to have... lots of women?" Kakashi asked with a little respect in his eyes.
"Yes."
"I don't understand what he sees so good in girls…" Naruto spoke with a bit of bitterness in his voice.
"Didn't you say you liked the banshee there? If you don't like girls then the kiss you gave Sasuke was on purpose? I knew you swayed like that Naru-chan."
"What?…I…I…didn't do it on purpose. Sakura-chan believe me, I don't like Deme…"
"I do not care. Sasuke-kun, do you want to go out to lunch after here so we can get to know each other better as teammates?"
After being turned down for the thousandth time that year, Sakura introduced herself, followed by her companions. The canon has remained in every perceptible way as far as I can see. Even the duck-tail hair emo ambition didn't change a thing.
But there was something she could do to make life for this trio more difficult after hearing their performance.
I smiled mischievously thinking about what I was about to do.