I squeeze Coco's hand, hoping he will get the message and he does as he says "Oh fuck, Raspberry didn't tattletale"
Ber already looks as if he would-could explode as Vanilla says, her voice breaking "What-what happened to him?"
"Oh, you didn't know my dear?"
We all turn to Raphael, who is now smiling, crossing his arms and legs and staring at us with a smile on his face.
Coco is laughing "Now, now Raspberry, we know you're a prick but don't...."
"You're the one who started the tale" Raphael says "Someone must continue it"
"Don't tell her" Mel pleads.
His face looks weak, soft and I can tell Raphael is caving in, of course he would cave in, it is Mel.
He cherishes Mel too.
But Ber finally snaps and there is nothing anyone can do about it "So fucking what if he's dead? He deserves it"
"No one deserves to..."
"Die?" Ber scoffs "Why? Because your old daddy up there would take them to heaven? What if he raped you? Did you know he stabbed you? You were bleeding..."
Vanilla looks white, her body shaking "Ber...."
"And I came, and I see you, and he's laughing at me... Jeering" Ber let's out a dark chuckle "He says that you will bleed out and there was nothing I can do about it. He says that we should never have left you alone. He says so many things..."
As Ber talks, his fingers are drumming on the table and we all know what is coming next..
"And I want to reach you, I want to take you away, but he's coming at me with the knife, trying to keep me from you! But you're mine and I lost it! I couldn't... I just wanted to..."
"You killed him"
Vanilla's face begins to crumble there as she shakes more now, her hand reaches for her crucifix.. but it's not there as she gasps for air but instead, she grabs into her hands.
"Stop acting like this for him!" Ber snaps "It's your fault! Mistress said you shouldn't leave our sight! And you went off to whore around with that..."
Mel slaps him, much to the shock of everyone as he stands up and moves to Vanilla "Nilla..."
She suddenly shrieks, loud "It's not my fault! I never mean to hurt anyone! Bad luck! Bad luck! Dirty! Unclean! I hurt people! I hurt Court! I hurt Mother! I hurt! I hurt!"
"No" Mel is crying now as he tries to hold her "Nilla, stop, it's not your fault"
But she is rocking now on the chair, her hands on her head as she keeps muttering to herself, Mel is holding unto her, crying too.
Ber... Ber is looking distraught.
Coco has no emotions on his face as I say "Mel, let her go"
The male doesn't answer me, so I stand, moving to him and pulling him away.
He doesn't fight me as he turns and begins to cry on me, I turn to Coco, who immediately stands up and holds unto Camilla "Hey, wanna take a shower? Hmmm? It could calm you down my love"
But Vanilla is still mumbling to herself.
Coco manages to smile, taking her hand and standing her up.
She doesn't fight him, just goes up, still shaking, still so white as Coco says, his voice shaky "Good girl"
I know it's breaking him, I know this is not how he wanted today to go, but he takes her up and I am about to face Mel before I see Ber standing and moving to us "Mel..."
"Stay away from me!" Mel suddenly snaps, turning to him.
His eyes are red, bloating as he sniffs "You keep doing this! She looked so happy to see us! It's YOUR fault! Not hers! Why do you have to be like this?! You said you were getting better! You promised me that you would get better!"
He leaves me and begins to hit him across the chest "Why?! Why?! I hate you! I hate you! I hate you!"
Ber is crying as he lets Mel continue before the male gives up and Ber pulls him to his body.
They keep hugging, Mel letting out huge sobs as Ber silent has tears fall out of his eyes as he stares at me.
Lost.
His eyes show that he is dark and scared inside and I am breaking too, I am scared and I want Mistress but i can't show that.
My family needs me.
And I.. I can't let them down again "Take him upstairs Ber. Please"
He nods, and does so.
I rest on the table, my hand shaking now as I hear Raphael say "Well, didn't that escalate?"
I turn to him, trying to hold my trembling hand "It's not always like this"
"But it's mostly like this" Raphael says, standing up from his chair "She indirectly told me about how Ber treats her, even I could not get a reaction from her, no matter what I did. Shows how brutal he is to her. My Father sent Stradella here to get better, he obviously is not"
"You-You can't take him away" I stutter.
"I have the same urges too, are you aware? To destroy? To cause havoc? I do. I control it, Stradella, cannot. He is hurting her and with the visible bruise on your neck, he hurts you too"
"We don't mind" I say softly "We are used to it, we can take it"
"But is she?"
I look up at him again "She's new, she will adjust..."
"As a lawyer, my client is supposed to be my main worry, Stradella isn't just my client, he is my baby brother and I know what he can do" Raphael says "He hurt our maids, severely, he is mentally unstable"
"He's better!" I snap "Can't you see? He's learning, how to use his emotions correctly, he's LEARNING. Everything takes time"
"I don't want Vanessa with you boys"
"You can't take her from us"
"With the correct warrant and possible timeline on the news that says 'the cause of Court's death was Vanessa' to the late boys parents would make her a target and I will have to protect her"
"Raphael"
"You boys... Are sick. Cream, you are, the deadliest maybe, with your cold steel eyes and cold behavior, you think I don't know what happened between you and your sister? The cause of the accident?"
I shut my eyes "Stop it"
"You boys will eat yourselves alive. Starting with Coco, and then Mel, then Vanilla" Raphael says "She and Mel are good people. They do not deserve to be treated the way you treat them"
"You know nothing"
I am standing now, my voice cold as steel as I stare daggers at him "We love each other, you can't separate us"
"Until death do you boys apart then?" Raphael asks, a sad smile on his face as he stands up and walks past me "Except you boys will die faster than it should be"
*
I stay in the dining room, the whole house silent as I remember what happened in the car.
I know it wasn't my fault.
I know that I...
'Erythrina! Play with me!'
'No, I'm busy!'
I remember me fighting her, I remember me smashing her head on the window, begging her to play with me.
I remember the commotion, I remember the car going off the bridge into the river.
The doctor says that she must have bashed her head when the car fell.
But I know what I did.
No one suspected me, not even my parents, but Mistress knew...
And Raphael...
I walk to my room, my body feeling weak before I enter and freeze at the door.
Mistress is at my window, her hands outside as she smiles and says "Snow is beautiful this time of the year"
When she turns, the smile still on her face, and walks to my bed, sitting and says "Come, Cream"
I find myself running to her feet and crumbling, crying.
She says nothing, rubbing my head as I cry, humming a melody and not saying anything for a while till I look up at her and say "I-I tried. Mistress, everything is s mess, everything..."
"Shhhh" She says, the smile still on her face "I heard"
"Are... Are you disappointed?"
"Never my love"
She cups my face, looking into my eyes "You are perfect and I love you. I'm proud of you. The fact you made it up here without breaking. The fact you handled everything"
"But everything IS bad"
"This is better than what we could hope for" She says "This is bad, yes, but this is the least bad. Worst, Vanilla could have ran, Chocolate could have snapped. Caramel could have been quiet and vomit the little food he eats and Strawberry would have hurt you, or himself but none of that happened. Because you, my boys, you all are getting better. I love you"
I sniff "You... You knew this would happen"
She smiles "You all must learn how to do things together. I will be busy for a while. So you must work together"
"Busy?" I ask "But i thought the case was closed"
"It is" She says "But through the cameras, I heard Court. He was hurting her for his selfish reasons, yes, but also because someone wants her. I suspect the people who tried bombing your school for some reason, but I also believe they are two different people. Vanilla isn't safe until I know who they are, do you understand?"
I slowly nod as she smiles "Good boy"
"Raphael... He said that we... We aren't getting better" I say "Is it true?"
"You are" She says "Cream, you are at my feet and crying, tears, Strawberry, did not hit anyone, Chocolate behaved responsibly and Caramel fought for something for once in his life without shying away, my babies are getting better"
"And then what?"
"What do you mean?"
"When we get better, completely" I say "Will you let us go?"
For the first time, in all my time with her, Mistress is quiet and I know deep down what that means but when she leans in and kisses my forehead, saying "Let us concentrate on the present first"
I let the thought disappear.