Chapter 50 - 47

Ber Pov

When I first wake up, the thing I notice is that it's five am in the morning and Mel is curled up beside me.

He is still on his evening wear, cheeks still puffy but eyes no longer bringing out tears that wretched my heart out and I reach out and kiss his cheeks.

He moves, and a small smile that lights me up shows on his face as he tries cuddling closer to me.

I don't let him, but instead let him hug our pillow as I leave the bed and go shower.

The water is cold and stinging but i am trying to... Keep my thoughts together.

At first, I realize I am glad that Mel was here and I did not hurt myself, that after everything, I had managed to hold him close and not strangle him...

Then I hate me.

I don't... Don't know what's wrong with me exactly.

What I keep doing... Why I keep doing it...

I just want... I just wanted to...

Fuck.

I don't even have an excuse.

I just...

I sigh, resting my head on the wall and wanting to bash it in but the idea of Mel seeing the bruise and hurting again has me stopping.

When I am done, I walk out of the house, down to the kitchen and about to take some water out from the refrigerator to drink before I see her.

Under the moonlit night, Mistress is there at the garden, gloves in her hand as she trims a rose bush, a small smile on her face.

I find myself rushing out of the kitchen, staring at her as she says "Did you sleep?"

I don't reply her immediately as I wrap my arms around her body and kiss her.

She kisses me back like she expects it, but my lips begin to quiver and shake and she holds my cheeks, keeping me up as if I'm some fragile piece that she can't bear to let go.

When I pull away, she smiles, her finger brushing my face "Always so beautiful"

"Mistress, I...."

"I know" She says softly with a nod, ever so softly, ever so carefully "Would you like to walk with me?"

I nod.

Her gloved hand go to my cold ones, wrapping around it, as if trying to keep it warm as we walk.

The place is still dark a bit, cold too, but Mistress wraps her suit around me, not even giving me a chance to protest as we walk.

When we reach the farthest we could go before we see the valleys below us, she says "I know what happened. I was there"

"Why didn't you come stop us?" I ask, turning to her "You could have...."

"What have I always said about communication Berry?" She asks, not looking at me "Loved ones must always speak to one another, it's the way of the world. We must speak, even if we think our actions show we care"

"But I.... I didn't let her speak" I say.

She smiles "I know that too"

I'm not sure if I expected her to have shouted at me, Mistress... Mistress never shouts, she's... She's always so calm, so beautiful, so...

"Do you remember when I first brought you here, to the Manor?" She asks "You hated me"

"No, I didn't hate you"

"You HATED me" She continues as if I hadn't said anything "And I let you be. Then one day, I asked you to play chess with me. I suppose you must have felt insulted, you were a prodigy and you were sure you would beat me... But I won"

I purse my lips, the memory still fresh in my head.

A small chuckle leaves her lips as she says "You were always so angry, and you kept trying. It became... An obsession I suppose, to win me that you'd wait for me, at the stairs, then we'd play after dinner... It took you a year to win me. Do you remember?"

I nod.

Because that was the day I fell in love with her.

After winning, I had been so excited, for the first time in my life, I had actually tried something that someone beat me at, and I won, as I usually do.

I had looked up at her to see... Maybe disappoinment, anger...

But all I saw was a smile.

A happy smile.

Usually, when I ever won, my parents would give me a pat, like they had expected it, not that it made them happy... Maybe proud, yes but not happy...

But the smile on her face, the love she showed that she was happy I finally got what I wanted...

"You're such a beautiful child" She says "With so many emotions that you are not sure how to interpret that you push and shout instead. Remember that after you won, you became more hostile to me. Hostile that you..."

"I stabbed you" I mutter silently "I stabbed you"

"And it hurt" She says, laughing.

But Mistress had not... Even stopped when I did....

I had been in shock when she still had the smile on her face and hugged me and said she loved me.

Mistress broke me to pieces.

"And you did the same thing with Cream, except he knew how to handle you and you both were on each other before I could blink twice. Coco could take your brashness and he'd shout back if you pushed him too hard and Mel... You saw Mel as someone who wasn't you, and you fell into him too. You fell into all of us"

She turns to me "With Vanilla as well"

I feel the tears come to my eyes as she smiles "And we fell too Berry. You're never alone, pushing us away might hurt us, but we are in you, our souls are entwined. Remember this"

I feel my body tremble as she pulls me into her body as I hold her before she says "Look at it"

I turn and see the sun.

It's rising, lighting everywhere so peacefully as a warm breeze passes us and Mistress smiles, bending down and kissing me "Good morning my love"

*

Mistress leaves before the others are awake, though i see Cream standing at the entrance, wearing a white loose silk kimono and watching her car leave before he turns to me and wraps his arms around me.

He's cold too, he's even cold but I let my hand press his head more to my body as he lets out a sigh "Good morning"

He looks at me "Sleep well?"

I say nothing, my eyes moving to the loose part of the cloth that shows the bruise on his neck as he sighs, adjusting it and kissing my chin "Say something Ber"

"Does it hurt?" I ask.

He blinks, his lashes so full that he makes it look so graceful to even blink as he says "That's not what I want to hear"

I smile as I say instead "I slept good enough"

He reaches out to my face, his pale hands shining in the darkness of the house as he says "That's nice"

I take his hands from my face and kiss it "Are you not going to dress for school?"

He holds my hand, turning around and wrapping it around his body, his everly so soft skin makes me want to melt as he whispers "I wanted seducing someone this morning"

That seems to harden me enough as I say "It's working"

He turns to me, tilting his head so I kiss him.

I feel his body arch to press himself to me as I let out a low growl, my animalistic side wanting to tear him apart before the lights in the house go on and we pull apart, meeting Mel at the stairs.

He's dressed for school, just as I am, but rubbing his eyes as if he's still sleepy "Sorry, I didn't know I was interrupting"

"No, my love"

Cream let's go of me and walks to him, his steps so gentle and slow, before he reaches the male and cups his face, kissing his eyes "Sleep well?"

Mel nods, then let's out a sneeze before his eyes widens "Bless you! Sorry!"

I chuckle as Cream plays with his hair "You came to make breakfast?"

Mel nods, now fully awake as he smiles "Yep"

"Then go Cara"

Mel smiles, placing a quick kiss on Cream's cheeks and hurrying off.

I come behind the male and kiss his neck as I say "Cara?"

"It's a beautiful name"

"I know I'm italian" I say as I kiss behind his ear "What say we finish..."

He pulls away "You did say I should dress for school"

And then tilts his head, a small smile on his face "And I just wanted to seduce, nothing more"

I laugh, despite the fact that I was turned on to hell "You snake"

He smiles again and walks up the stairs.

An hour later, I'm at the dining table, next to Mel, Cream on his seat and three vacant seats left before we hear a chirpy voice say "Beautiful mornings to my darling boyfriends!"

We all turn as Coco is looking... Brighter than any of us even, as he sits beside Cream, kissing him soundly on the lips and taking up his spoon.

Mel speaks first "Where's Nilla?"

"Her room" He says, not bothering to look up.

"Are you on drugs?" Cream asks.

Coco drops his spoon, letting out a low dramatic sigh "I'm perfectly fine, even though yes I had my nightmares but I'm totally alright, perfect even"

"What have you done Chocolate?" I ask.

He makes a face, a sadistic one "I'm trying to fix your mess big shot"

"Fix what mess?" Cream asks.

He sighs "So last night I am woken up by my ever stupid nightmares and I'm searching for pills right? And guess what? I'm hearing Asshole Raspberry, no offense Ber, asking Vanilla if she'd like to elope with him. That wakes me up faster than any pill I tell you and I hear her say something about how she wouldn't be tossed around blah blah blah but he's saying he's going to wait for her and she's leaving and I'm off to my bed.

Thankfully, I'm a good actor so she thinks I'm still, dreaming, and cuddles me, she smells beautiful by the way and this morning, I'm telling her my sob story, you know, so I can make her feel sorry and stay with us, or maybe just me, y'all should figure out how to play with her heartstrings and she's now treating me like an egg"

As he says all this, his eyes are still on mine before he suddenly jolts "Oh and yes, he left a note"

He takes it out of his uniforms breast pocket and pushes it to me on the table.

I take it, my eyes skimming through the words, anger slowly building into me as I read.

Raphael literally left his number, address and how she could contact him if she ever wanted 'escaping' from us, in his terms.

"She might have said no but this just means one simple thing" Coco says "She is purely irresistible to everything with a dick, and how's that working out for us when we call her a whore, hmm?"

I look at him "You know I didn't mean it"

"Oh I know" He says "I'm just saying I'm saved from her wrath, so you boys, especially you my dear Ber"

His eyes harden "Stop making her feel like she's destroying us cause if she leaves, we all know what's going to happen"

Chaos.

And that day, today, was the day it really began.