I want to move, but I can't.
It hurts...
Everywhere hurts.
Why?
Is it... Is it supposed to hurt this bad?
"Princess?"
I blink, hearing the sounds of the waves crashing as I turn to my sides, seeing a face I had never thought I'd see again "Pa...Pa?"
He smiles "You slept off, are you okay?"
I find myself sitting up and hugging him quickly, the tears falling on their own as I hear him laugh and say "Whoa! Someone's clingy. Relax, I'm here"
No...
I grab him, squeezing him tighter as he says "Sweetheart, you would choke me to death"
As I release him, he chuckles, his hand stroking my cheeks and his thumb wiping the tears as he says "You must have had a really bad fall"
"Fa-Fall?" I ask.
He nods "Yes. I'm glad I was there to bring you back"
"But you left..."
"Me?" He asks then scratches his chin "Oh yeah, I did but I came back. I've been here for a while, don't you remember? I picked you in the orphanage and then we came here to the lighthouse and have been here all through. What is it? Did you have a bad dream?"
Dream?
Was it... Was it a dream?
"Hey, hey"
His hands cup my face as he says "It's okay. Daddy's here now there's nothing to be scared of"
"So... So that means... The boys..."
"Boys?" He ask.
"Strawberry, Caramel, Chocolate, Cream...." I say "Mistress, they... They aren't real?"
He laughs "What strange names, you have always had a strong imagination. Well, no, it's just you and I"
Then he leans in "Isn't that what you've always wanted?"
Yes...
But...
But I don't...
I suddenly hold my chest, gasping as I try to breathe.
"Vanessa?! Are you alright?!"
I feel tears coming out of my eyes as I say "Vanilla"
I am whimpering, breaking as I look up at him "My name... Is Vanilla"
Then I wake up.
I find myself sitting up, a sound of a monitor beating somewhere as I see a tube connected to my wrist, and I'm on a white bed...
And a hospital dress.
"Van... Vanessa?"
I turn to my left as I see the blur of someone running to me before I am being crushed in between someone's arms.
As the person pulls away and I see his face, some sense of disappointment fills me "Ari?"
He has tears in his eyes as he holds my hand, raising it to his forehead, speaking rapidly in a language I suppose is Japanese that I have to say "Ari, I don't understand you"
"I'm so Sorry!"
I jerk at the voice as he looks up at me, eyes swollen with tears all over his face "Nothing would have happened to you if I had been able to protect you! If I ad stayed, and fought, then maybe...."
"Where are they?"
He stops midway, staring at me with confusion on his face "What?"
"The boys. Did they not come to look for me while I was here?" I ask.
Though he seems lost at why I was asking, he says "No. They didn't. They haven't been here for three days Vanessa"
"Oh"
I find my hand slowly creeping to my sides, my nails digging in as he says "But some woman came here. She says... No she calls herself 'Miss Sweet' I think?"
My head shoots up as Ari sighs "She gave me a card, said I should call her if you wake up"
"Call her"
"Wait, Nessa, you just woke up, you should..."
I grab his arms there "You don't understand. I don't feel safe. I don't feel okay. I dreamt about my Father, I know that he is looking for me, call her, right now. She knows what to do, she always does"
"Okay, but you have to let go of me first okay?"
I do so, making him let out a relieved sigh as he stands straight now "Just... Just wait for some minutes okay?"
I nod.
He stares at me for a while, then shakes his head before leaving.
Immediately he does so, I hear it.
I hear her.
'Ungrateful'
'Spoilt'
'You would never have a normal life'
'He is never coming back'
I grab my head, trying to close my ears "Daddy... Daddy, please come help me..."
'Witch?'
'Sinner!'
'Go rot in hell!'
And that is when I scream.
*
I feel someone stroke my face, gently, like a feather as my eyes slowly open before I see her.
Just like an angel, the light circles around her like a halo as she smiles at me "You always look beautiful in everything. Even hospital gowns. Not everyone can pull that off"
I quickly shoot up, hugging her as she hugs me back, her scent...
Strawberry, Caramel, Chocolate, Cream...
And me.
"I was so worried" She whispers into my ear as she strokes my hair "I thought I lost you again"
I pull away there "Where are the boys? Did something happen? Are they okay?"
She nods "Yes, they are"
I pause "Then why... Why aren't they here?"
"At the moment, the number of places they can go are limited" She replies "Which means, they can only go to School and back home"
"Why? Is everything okay? Is this... Is this because of me? Did something happen? Wh-"
"Hey"
Her hand now carries mine, as she begins to trail my veins, her eyes still on me "It's okay. Calm down. Everything is fine. I can't answer all your questions right now anyway so you must bear with me but I will"
"When?"
"Soon, but first" She rests my hand on her laps "You have to answer a few questions of mine, okay?"
I stare into her eyes, knowing that the voices could not reach me here.
That I am safe, that I am okay.
Because she is here.
So I nod.
"First, I would just like you to be aware that your friend, Ari stayed here with you for the past three days without leaving" She says "He is gone now because I told him he should rest but I would like it if you said your thanks to him. He has been very worried and bothered about the fact that he didn't help you at the beginning but I am grateful to him nevertheless. So immediately you're discharged, you're getting him a gift"
"A gift?" I ask.
"Yes" She says "I foot the bill, you just choose whatever you think he would like, that way, we both paid our gratitude, what do you think?"
I nod "That would be alright"
"Good girl"
I blush there.
"Second, while he called, he said you had a bad dream, something about your Father. Now, I already know how you feel about him and it's nothing negative so I was confused until I came here and saw the doctors sedating you because you were screaming and trashing" She says "I also am aware of the nail marks you leave in your skin but we are not going to talk on that now"
I don't say anything.
"What happened in the dream?" She says softly, her voice sounding like she could already read me, and that lying wasn't an option.
I sigh, about to hold myself with my other finger before she holds my other hand "Squeeze me instead"
"But..."
"Please"
I stare, no other word daring to challenge her there as I say instead "I was... I was back at the lighthouse, and... And he was at the beach, with me. He... He said he came back, he said that he..."
I feel the tears coming again as I slowly choke "He said that he was always with me"
"Isn't that a good thing?" She asks "It's what you've always wanted, to be with him"
"He said you people weren't real" I say, now breaking "He said.. he said you... And-and the boys, were my imaginations and it hurt so much then when I woke upyouguyswerentthereandIlostitbecauseIdontwantyoutoeverleaveme...."
"Hey"
She pulls me into her chest as I cry more now, holding her shirt and burying my face inside it.
After a while, all I'm doing is sniffing and sobbing as she keeps staring at me.
I can't keep up so I look down "I'm sorry that I stained your shirt"
"I don't mind but I mind it that you are not looking at me"
I slowly look up at her, as she smiles "Beautiful"
Then she stands up "I have to go now"
I am already grabbing her hand "No! Please, don't"
She doesn't pull my hand away, instead she leans down and kisses the top of my head, resting her chin on it "I don't want to leave. I want to hold you close and never have you out of my sight again, but there is something I must settle. Tommorow, I will come discharge you then I won't ever have to leave, okay?"
She already knows that her voice weakens me, that I am definitely powerless against her but still I say "Promise?"
She bends to my face, now nuzzling our noses together "I promise"
My hand slowly releases here but before I can do so completely, she raises my hand to her lips and kisses it, the heat making me blush up again as she smiles "I love you too Vanilla"
And leaves the room.