After hearing this guy brandishing an axe with what looked to be fake emeralds talk about assassinating the king of England, Ulrich just felt one thought come out of his mouth.
"Why should we help you, exactly?"
Keeping up the same enthusiasm, Dominic pointed a finger at him with a quick flourish.
"Tell me, sir. What is your passion?"
"I'm pretty good at Fatal Fantasy, I guess."
"Not knowing? a truly sad existence you live, my condolences offered. But you, Lainey! You must have a type of music related passion, correct?"
"Yes?" Lainey answered, glancing at Ulrich with a look of utter bafflement.
"Well, would you let anyone stop you from pursuing your passion?"
"Probably not. Wait, are you saying murder is your passion?"
Moving his hand in more ridiculous motions, he eventually pointed to himself.
"That is exactly what I'm saying! My victims will be considered the next wonders of the world! And so, I cannot be stopped in this moment, for today is my eighteenth birthday, and the date, the weather, is all the picture perfect moment to make history!"
He put the axe in a seemingly homemade belt and stuck his hands in his pockets. He looked towards the grey and miserable looking sky, And his voice got noticeably calmer.
"My plan is simple. I kill the ruler of this nation and move on the next. I will lead a glamourous life of murder and glamour and start my own band of outcasts!" He once again started doing random bullshit with his hands, pointing both his hands at them.
"And you two are my first recruits!"
"Or you could not?" Lainey asked. "Like you said, you turned eighteen. You can drink, get laid, you have your whole life ahead of you! So why blow it on…whatever this is. Like, you're a tall, blonde guy, you could probably get some women, bro." She softly punched him on the shoulder.
"So, you're hitting on me?" Dominic asked.
"I'm into girls." Lainey hastily replied, losing the jovial expression.
"Well, women do like a mysterious man, so my exploits will help me with this side venture."
And before they could even retort, Dominic ran out of his house, ready to attempt one of the biggest criminal empires in history. And so, Ulrich and Lainey also headed out, locking his door for him.
The two found a bus to Buckingham palace, and got on. There were a couple people on, so discussing a potential break in was out of the question.
The two walked out of the bus, only for some teenager to point at the inside, and point out someone running in. "Mate, check that out!"
They looked towards the gate, and there was Dominic, running into the palace, axe in hand.
"No way, it really is him!" The other kid yelled.
"Excuse me, you know him?" Ulrich asked.
"Yeah, he's been at this for a year and a half now. Always goes for killing King Lewis but pussies out at the last minute. Hell, there are shirts saying you saw him in the shop!"
"I heard from my cousin that he went insane and dropped out of school. According to him, he killed his best friend." The boy told his friend
"Really?" His friend gasped.
"Yeah, my cousin has a friend, and his cousin went to school with him."
Ulrich stood in disbelief. Holy shit, this dude was pathetic.
"So, when do we get our shirts?" Lainey asked.
"Excuse me?" One of the teenagers stood in disbelief.
"He makes sense, is all. Demons are taking over the world, and what's ol Lewis doing about it? Or any issue, come to think about it?"
"He fought in Normandy, you Yank." The boy replied.
"Regardless, the time for a revolution has come, and the three of us will be at the forefront."
The two teenagers burst out laughing, but Lainey sauntered up to the gates, and started her speech.
"So, it's common knowledge about this alleged assassination attempt from Mr. Dominic, but what the public doesn't know, is the rouges gallery he's been forming all this time! Within my guitar case is a high spirit, ready to cast judgement on anyone who opposes our new world order."
She continued, pointing to Ulrich.
"And my friend there, his gloves can utilize the dread burner. And trust me, you do not want to be on the receiving end of that!"
Sure, it was possibly the dumbest thing she ever said while sober, but it was working. The people outside were laughing at her, and she and Ulrich were able to get in. And despite barely being involved in that, Ulrich was exhausted.
"How did you manage to pull that off with a straight face?" He asked.
"Got in the mindset of being drunk. Or high."
"High? As in drugs?"
"Yeah." Lainey sighed. "Just say no, or whatever."
"Really?"
"I have no idea. Don't inject any weird shit into you and you'll probably be good."
The two made their way through the castle trying to get through the ridiculous number of rooms. They ran into various staff members, and every time they just claimed to be with Dominic. And every time, they were left to their devices, with the distinct sound of arrogant British chuckling echoing the halls.
Eventually, the two of them were in front of the crown jewel room, with the door carelessly left open. The duo peered inside, and there was Dominic, casually explaining his plans to a bewildered looking old man, who noticed them.
"So, are they with you?" He asked. His greying hair and slightly wrinkled face, alongside his brown tweed jacket and plain trousers, gave him a look of collected experience.
Dominic thrust his head back, looking at them, before snapping back to the king's gaze.
"Nah, they have other plans here. Something about some kind of object, I think? If you could help with that, that'd be nice."
"Object?" He asked, with an authority that pierced right through the two of them. "You wouldn't be planning on stealing the crown jewels, by any chance?
"Oh, no!" Ulrich replied, as quick as he could. "Well, maybe. This sounds dumb, but would any of the crown jewels have superpowers, by any chance?"
At this moment, the king stepped back, towards the crown jewels, and pressed a few buttons on a panel, where all the regular jewels went underneath the floor, and in their place, a sceptre with a pure black gem at the top. Calmly, he took it, pointing it at the trio, and his face changed to a stern expression.
"I hate for it to come to this." He said gloomily. "But I've done a lot to maintain power over these years, and I'll be damned if you kids take it away from me!"
"Hell yeah, that's what I'm talking about!" Dominic yelled out, readying his axe. "Gotta say, guys. You really know how to entertain! Now let's kill this son of a bitch!"