*I didn't like writing it too, I swear (+_+)*
*
"I swear punching him was like punching a fucking wall made of bloody titanium, felt like I'd shattered more than just his nose but my hand"
Rin, who she was blabbering all this too, was quiet, as usual, just rubbing some ointment around it, massaging as she kept on talking "I hope he's gone though. Things are already fucking complicated enough for us already, you know?"
Rin, still didn't say anything, just began to wrap a bandage around her hand as she said "Well, someone is awfully quiet and not asking questions the way he used to. What's up Squirt?"
"I don't feel good, is all"
His reply was so curt, so formal, and extremely full of respect that Raven could have sworn that she was talking to an alter ego of her best friend "You possibly coming down with a fever, cause you usually end your sentence with a Rae"
"Oh, sorry, Rae"
Raven snatched her hand away "Okay, your behaving weird, what's going on? Was I saying too many bad words this time? You're usually comfortable with it or you usually just tried to ignore it really. If you aren't okay, you should just tell me, I wouldn't eat you"
Rin, who still wasn't looking at her, just folded his hands and set it on his laps, his lips pursed as he said "I'm fine"
Raven's eyes now contorted into that of worry "Are you mad at me?"
"I'm worried"
"About what?"
"About you"
"Me?"
"You, and Master Axel"
Master?
Raven heard herself growl "Did he use that his Influence shit on you?"
Rin shook his head "You always assume the worse about people"
Her face softened, but it was only for a while "You fucking called him Master like he was your owner or something and of course I was worried besides the only person that you should call Master, is me, because I literally own you but I don't want that"
Rin sighed "You can't continue like this"
Raven hissed "Stop speaking in goddamn riddles"
"His... His thoughts are tearing me right now"
"What?"
Raven watched Rin squeeze his hands and face, tears glistening at the corner of his eyes "You're... You're hurting him"
Fear creeped into her "Rin? Rin, are you okay?"
When he opened his eyes, they were glassy, with huge tears falling down "I'm... Somehow connected to Axel, and.... And I feel.... Know, I know his thoughts, and he's... He's tearing himself up at your words, how could you say those things?"
Raven hissed "How are you linked to him? You can't do that unless you...." Her eyes widened as she moved away "You... You accepted him as your Alpha"
Rin hurriedly shook his head "I didn't! I'm still very much connected to you Raven! I just... Raven, he's hurting"
"I don't care"
"Raven...."
"He's making me lose it!" She snapped "And he is making everything more complex than it should be. Jesus, Rin, it was just you, Elle and Jordan I had to worry about, now there's some male who seems like he can win everyone over with just a snap of his fingers and I don't like it"
"Axel's just really nice..."
"Fuck you Rin, you were terrified of him too"
"We all are scared of what we don't understand"
"And what? You understand him now within two days?"
Rin shut his mouth this time, biting his lower lip as he sobbed silently.
Raven sighed, walking back to him and crouching to his eye level as she brushed away bangs of his hair as she said "You're right, maybe I was a bit harsh, but if I kept on being so complaint and weak around me, he'd never leave"
"But you don't want him to leave"
"No, Rin...."
He shook his head "You don't. I can feel it, you're hurting too"
This time, Raven's eyes flashed red "Stop it"
But he didn't.
"You don't want him gone. You want him here because he makes you happy, because he treats you nice, and because you l...."
"Shut the fuck up!"
Rin winced, looking away and sniffing "Sorry, so sorry, I can't... I'm feeling so many things. It's overwhelming"
Raven stared at him, panting hard till she sighed, rubbing her temples "I just.... I just want us going back to how we were, you know, not that I'm mad at you, you know. Life just made a lot of sense then and..... And I'm betraying Misha"
"Misha would be happy if you're happy"
"I am Rin. I'm happy with you"
"But I'm Elle's"
Those words had come like a straight slap to her face and cut off the breath of air from her.
Rin realized what he had done and his eyes widened like saucers "Ra...Raven... I'm so sorry...."
"Go"
"Rae..."
"Go, I won't say it again"
Rin looked like he was about to explode as he stood up and said on more time "I'm so sorry" And then ran off.
Raven hissed, fighting the tears that threatened to fall out of her eyes.
Tears?
The fuck?
Her hand went to her eyes as she felt the water coming out of it as she scoffed.
Stupid emotions.
She was fine alone anyway.
She was ALWAYS fine.
It didn't matter that Misha had abruptly left her, without warning, without considering how she felt, without thinking for one second that her lonely ass ugly sister was going to be more lonely.
It didn't matter that Sirius thought she was so mean that he left the Pack without even saying goodbye because he feared she would kill him or torture him even though what she really wished for was a hug right now.
And it didn't fucking matter that she just had a wake up call from her best friend who had made it extremely clear, without blurring the words, that she was ALONE.
That she would always be alone.
Because she hurt everything and everyone.
Because she sabotaged every good thing that came her way in fear that they would hurt her like they hurt Misha.
Because whatever she touched, even though she always had good intentions, she would end up being selfish and do what she thought was good for her.
Because she was a mean bitch and because she....
The tears poured more now.
Because she was such a miserable person.
And....
And she....
She was always alone, no matter what happened.