Cassandre Pov
"Where are you taking us?" My mother and I asked for the umpteenth time.
"I promise you, if you don't shut up, I'll kick you out." Said Cassidy, from what I understood my dad and Harmony were in front and my mom, Cassidy, and me behind. Cassidy is between us, I was behind my father and my mother behind Harmonie.
"Why don't you wanna tell us, damn it?" My mother asked,
"Because it's a surprise if we tell you it won't be a surprise anymore," Cassidy said for the umpteenth time too.
My mom and I were just pissing her off, of course, we wanted to know where we were going, but it's fun bothering my little sister.
My father had decided to ignore us and concentrate on the road, and Harmonie was surely listening to music through her headphones. So my sister was the only one who had to deal with us.
After a few minutes of comfortable silence, Harmonie was heard speaking, "Yes, mum?" ", Silence, she sighed" Okay, give it to him- " Silence, her mother gave the phone to I don't know who I think.
"Hi, Grandpa…" waits, 'Doesn't he still live in another country?', Unless it's his mother who went to the Milea, "Why did you come?" Silence
" At home? I love your humor." She said sarcastically, " The Reason, please?" She was silent for a few minutes.
"Okay, I'll call you later, and we'll continue this discussion. Ask mom to give you my number and send me a message ", silence " Ok, I received it, bye." I heard her sigh,
" So?" Cassidy asked, I nudged her gently, she wasn't tactful.
"Hmm, in one sentence: I have to sort out some person's bullshit. "
" What?" For once, I appreciated my sister's outspokenness,
"It's like I said. My 'father' did some bullshit, which put my family in a situation… " She paused to look for the right words for the next step, I think. "A situation that I will describe as complicated, and luckily my grandfather is there. But unfortunately, some of the bullshit my 'father' did directly concern me. He didn't even try to sort them out, he decided to give them to me and leave. So it's up to me to take care of it. "
"Say, your grandfather, do you like him or not? I do not understand the relationship you have between your grandfather and you? "
"Describing the relationship I have with my grandfather is quite complicated, but I'll try to do my best to explain it to you," she sighed.
"David, my grandfather, has two sons, Damien and Alex. Damien is the oldest and also my 'father'. There were conflicts between my father and David. My father apparently hated the fact that my grandfather David separated too much personal and professional matter (if you don't understand, tell yourself well me neither), from what I was told about an argument on this subject took place this then caused an incident (which I don't know the details of), and separated Damien and David ... My grandfather wanted to reconnect with his son and his family, but David found out that Damien was estranged from my mother for some time, for almost 3 years, I think he left after the divorce. David found out that he had gone to start a new life elsewhere, leaving my mother to fend for us. My grandfather, therefore, decided to take care of us, but with one condition. This condition concerns me directly, unfortunately, I cannot tell you about it. But you will know when the time comes," she paused, I had so many questions.
"Well, let's stop talking about it now. It's all gonna give me a headache otherwise, and all I want is to enjoy this evening." She finally said.
...
"It"s beautiful" in front of us is a chalet, but what was most impressive was the interior of the chalet.
"One word: Wow!" Said, my mother
"Okay, let's get our stuff upstairs and for all kinds of questions, it's after!" Said Cassidy.
*******************
H
+Is it her?+, my grandfather had just sent me a message with the picture of my childhood friend just after,
"Who is it?" Cassandra asked, standing behind me, talking about the photo.
"Someone I know." I said, and I send my grandfather a reply,
+Yes.+
Cassandra walked around the bed and sat down next to me. "Why did your grandfather send you this picture?" She asked with a raised eyebrow.
"Because he wants her and me to date?"
"Why is that? Does he know that you're-not that you're dating-" Understanding what she was trying to say, I finished her question.
"-A girl? No, he doesn't know?" I said, tilting my head slightly, 'Does he know that?.... No, I don't think so.'
As if she had just realized something, her face became saddened, "So he knows you like girls?"
"No, he doesn't know, and you're wrong. I don't like girls," I stopped, she raised an eyebrow, "I only like one person-" a smile began to form on her face "-my mother." She playfully slapped me on the arm, "I hate you."
I smiled, "Oh, why is that?" I asked with an innocent look.
"You, really-" I kissed her, this went on for a while.
"And this, is for what?" She asked with a blush.
"I love you," she looked at me. "I only have one 'woman' in my heart right now, my mother. You, you are a 'girl' I love, and I would love to be able to call you my wife one day, and you already know that the person I was talking about was you."
"You know, you just proposed to me- well, you make it sound like you're going to get down on one knee in front of me and propose at any moment." She joked, I opened my arms to ask for a hug.
"You're going to have to wait a few years for that, I have to gain maturity and independence first before I can ask you that," she interrupted the hug, she stood up smiling and headed for the door.
"So you're planning to ask for my hand, but why don't I ask you?" I stood up and walked to the door as well.
"You know the reason I need to gain maturity is not for nothing, I also need to be ready, I am not like you who is already ready for this." I took her hand, "If you're the one proposing to me, I know you won't like the answer."
She looked me in the eye, "Will you marry me?"
"No!" She pouted.
"I warned you,"
"I can ask you when you are ready!"
"You can't know unless I tell you, you know? And I won't tell you when I'm ready to say the opposite of 'no' so, that's me asking." She sighed,
"Okay, you win. Now let's go, I want to see the other surprise you have prepared for us." She said excitedly.
"Let's go!", the surprise, was a camping version of a picnic. We were in the backyard behind the cottage, set up in front of a campfire that my Uncle J made, he of course left before we arrived.
Charlie had brought his guitar. The sun was starting to set, and he began to sing a song.
....
After we finished eating and laughing at Charlie's lame jokes. We lay down on a blanket and watched the starry sky. A few minutes of quiet and fresh air later, Clara and Charlie left us. We were talking about everything and nothing at the same time.
"It's time for us to go to sleep too," Cassandra said, and I heard her, but I was too deep in thought to react. I found that the starry sky helped me to think better. It calmed my nerves, which were becoming increasingly agitated. The more I looked, the clearer my head became-"Hey!" Cassidy said, shaking me gently. My gaze left the sky and now looked at her, "Hey, are you okay?"
"I guess why?"
"My sister, since earlier was calling you, but you were too much in your thoughts. So I told her to let you enjoy the moment a little bit, because you need it, and she told me to tell you that she was going to sleep. No sex for you tonight, that sucks for you," I playfully slapped her on the arm, she smiled, but right after her face became serious, and I already knew why.
"What's the matter?," she looked me straight in the eye, eyebrows furrowed, she was trying to read me, but I showed nothing, she sighed,
"I'm scared."
She was surprised and so was I, to tell truth. I knew why I was opening up to her, though. She is a friend and I felt like we had known each other forever, "Afraid of what?"
"Hmm, how would you like to waste an hour of your time listening to me blame the reasons for my existence and my life?"
I told her without answering her question. She was watching me again, I was at my wits end and I let her read me.
"You're tired," it wasn't a question but a statement. I nodded my head slowly.
"Completely exhausted." I gave a small smile, "So do you want to or not?" She nodded, "Okay, here we go!"
That night, it took me exactly one hour to give her a summary of everything I had learned recently that always made me giddy. Everything was said.
"He's an asshole!" She says, "How can he do that to his own kids?" Yes, she's talking about my dad. I just shrugged in response.
"Do you even know her?" I made a face, she was talking about the girl involved in my grandfather's plan.
"That's where things get even more complicated," she didn't understand, that's normal. "Say, you are enrolled in my school this year, right?"
"You're changing the subject again" she sighed, and said "Yes, and normally we're in the same class."
"It's getting more complicated. By the way, you'll get the answer to your question."
"I don't understand."
"I know, well, let's go." I got up and headed in the direction of the cottage, she too.
"How are you going to do this, tell me? Because I know this is going to break you, you're going to suffer, you and her the same way!" I sighed,
"Honestly, I don't know. We'll see, but all I know is that I need to do this as soon as possible so that it ends quickly."
"But you know, you can have-" I cut her off, "I know, but my mom didn't raise me that way."
"Oh… I understand," she sighed again. "This is going to hurt!"
"Hmm!" I said, shaking my head.
{....}
After our relaxing time, from Saturday until Sunday afternoon, I didn't talk to anyone when I got home. No more words to anyone. My siblings did not understand my behaviour, but I could not do anything about it. During a short period of silence, I tried to find other ways to deal with the situation but nothing.
'Okay, I'm in trouble!'
After coming to this conclusion several times, I decided to finally turn on my phone and….
…
…
…
Crap.
Too many messages.
The majority of the messages I received were from Cassandra.
Instead of reading her messages, I decided to call her directly; bad idea.
A very, very bad one.
"Hello?" 'Okay, this is off to a bad start, she's too calm.'
A person who didn't know her, would have thought she was calm in this situation. But when she is in this state, because she is definitely angry, you have to walk away from her and not talk to her at the time. The first and last time (normally) I saw her in that state was because of Cassidy and…. It traumatized me.
'I feel like I'm going to cry.'
Problem, here I am with a dilemma, hang up on her and create more problems for myself or try to talk to her in her current state, which is also a big problem.
What the hell do I do?
"Are you going to decide to say what you want from me or not?" 'Ouch, ma'am is angry!'
'But of course she's angry, you stupid or what?'
'Well, myself and I, calm down. We mustn't give in to panic.'
'That's true, you're right. Courage myself, I am going to pray for you.'
'Yes, courage!'
I sighed, 'Well, when you have to go, you must go.'
"Hmm… Sorry…" I finally said, head down as if she could see me," I'm sorry" I repeated.
I was sorry I couldn't answer her, but I really needed a moment to myself to think. "Tell me when I sent the messages and called you, did you see them and then ignored me?"
"No, yesterday when I got home, I immediately turned off my phone. I wanted to be able to focus completely on something, and it took me a little too long. I needed answers, unfortunately I only have one answer, and it's a little…" 'Ah, It's really a mess.'
"A little what?"
"The answer was that I was in an awful situation and I think with you too I'm in trouble." She sighed in turn, 'Gee!'
"You-" I interrupted her,
"Wait, I think my mom is calling me."
My mom was indeed calling me, "Yes, Mom!" She says something to me, but I didn't understand her, "Wait, I'm coming!"
"Cassandre?"
"Hmm?"
"Can you wait a few minutes?"
"Hmm," I put my phone in the pocket of my pullover hoodie , without realizing it (since it's a habit of mine), I walked out of my room and joined my mother in the living room
"Yes, mom." she was sad but why?
"It's your uncle, honey, Alex…" she released a shaky breath. "He had an accident a while ago-"
"Why wasn't I-" my voice broke, "Why wasn't I told?" I repeated trying to hide my emotions, but I know from the moment she heard me speak and looking me straight in the eyes, she realized that it hurt.
"Your grandfather didn't want to put you in an even more complicated situation than the one you are in. He..." her voice broke, 'Oh no!'
"Don't cry, please don't cry."
I hugged her, and she began to cry, she was hurt. My uncle was my mother's best friend, after my father left my mother, he tried to do his best to help us. He couldn't be there all the time because of his work in Lième . Despite that he was always there for us, he was my hero and now what- My mom managed to calm herself down, broke away from me and looked at me, she put a hand on my cheek,
"Sweetie, he's..."
She took a deep breath, 'No, no, no.... I thought as I shook my head gently.
My mother, seeing my reaction, put her other hand on my left cheek to gently block my head and looked me straight in the eye, pain than pain. "Your uncle, he..." 'No, don't say it, no, please don't say it....' The tears started to escape her eyes again, I started to cry,
"He's dead."
You know that feeling, like you've suddenly had the air ripped out of your lungs and your heartbeat intensifies, feeling like your heart is heavy.
My body gave out on me, I fell to my knees, "Harmony! Sweety..."
This feeling I felt at that very moment and I could never forget it.
I could see my mother in a panic, shaking me, trying to talk to me, but I could only see her lips moving, I couldn't say anything, couldn't hear anything, I was like frozen.
"Harmony!" I could see the figure of a person in front of me, but it was blurry. They seemed to be calling me "Harmony!"
"Who is this?
The figure became clearer and clearer, along with the voice. "Uncle!" I heard a small voice say, 'Oh, am I dreaming?'
In front of me was my uncle standing up and a mini-me (hi mini-me) sited on the bed.
That day I had just turned 9, my 'father' as usual was out, I was in my room, my uncle had come to visit,
"Are you sad, baby girl?" I said nothing,
"Do you hate him?" I finally looked at my uncle, a sad smile on my face.
"I can't..." He lifted me up, and held me in his arms, "I can't spend the rest of my life hating someone who doesn't deserve my attention."
We looked each other straight in the eyes, mini me kept that sad smile on her face and tears escaped from her eyes,
"But it hurts to see mom sad; she doesn't deserve this." He nodded.
"I understand you, you feel helpless, don't you?" I nodded,
"Then I have the solution for that!" He said, with a smile on his face, all of Mini me's attention was on him,
"You don't want to see mom sad, do you?" I nodded again,
"Then your mission is very simple, be there for her and your brothers and sister, listen to her baby. You know your mom has decided to move to another country, right?"
"Yes, she told me." I finally managed to calm down and rested my head on my uncle's shoulder.
"Do you know which one?"
"Yes, Milée." He nodded,
"So?"
Mini me remained silent.
"We won't be able to see each other more often, but please don't blame your mother, she needs a change."
"Don't worry uncle."
I remember that four months later, we finally left Lième for Milée. My uncle and I kept in touch, we didn't talk too often because of his work and also school for me, but we kept in touch.
Moreover, he was coming during the summer vacations except that this year grandpa warned me that he couldn't come because he had too much work to catch up on, yet before that he had confirmed his coming but... wait a minute. I instantly snapped out of my stupor and looked at my mother. She looked relieved,
"Tell me the accident, when did it happen?" I asked her, what I didn't notice at the time was the presence of another person next to me.
"At the beginning of the holidays, I did not understand the reasons for the accident, but I was told that he had planned to visit us."
"Why am I only being told this now and when did-" I took a deep breath, "-he left?"
"Today, I was just told, and I told you right after. But you know your grandfather didn't want to say anything-" I raised my right hand
"Please stop"...
"I need some space", I stood up and I felt a hand behind my back, I turned my head to look at the source of that hand. "Oh you're here."
Her face was saddened, and she hugged me, 'Oh, my phone'. I took it out of my pocket and stopped the call and put it back in my pocket. I left her arms and headed for my room.
I heard her talking with my mom before I closed my bedroom door. I was looking for gym clothes. Furthermore, I put on my sweatpants, a t-shirt, I was putting on my other sock and I heard my door open, Cassandre walked into my room, I stopped, watched her then continued what I was doing. I prayed a jacket, a gourd and headed to the shoe closet, I put on my sneakers, put on my jacket with a Cassandre who had not stopped observing my actions. I took a backpack, put my water bottle, a sandwich and an apple inside.
Finally ready and with music blaring in my ears, I walked out of the flat and out of the building and felt a hand holding me back, I turned around and took off my headphones and looked at Cassandre,
"I'll take you there."
I didn't say anything, I just looked at her and said nothing. She took my hand and walked us to her car. The ride was quiet, but not long. I got out of the car and headed to the park, took off my jacket, put my stuff in the trunk of the car.
I started to run, I didn't want to feel anything and running made me feel free of any emotion, the cold wind that was blowing almost made me feel like I was flying, and the rain replaced the tears I was blocking from escaping from my eyes.
I didn't know how long I had been running, but I know that I had listened to all my musics (and I had plenty of it), I was tired, but every time I felt like stopping, a memory of my uncle and I would come back, and the pain would come back even stronger, and that's how I found myself in a kind of vicious circle, I couldn't get any respite. I would run again and again without respite, then nothing...