WE
My smiles surprise even me. The willingness that came with it was no different. I did as I was told for three(3) more days making sure she was well fed, well dressed, and altogether well taken care of. "Did I feel as many emotions as I did?" I can't remember but everything was going smoothly until today.
Laylah is looking very much better. You can see healthiness in her eyes and face. Her face returns halfway to how it has always been, the beams. Her dimples came to light again." Was it stupidity or utter sheer foolishness?" Why would she still be able to smile after all that has happened? I watched her as we sat at the dining table. We ate a feast today. Boy Nathaniel was more sensible -- as the humans will sit it, more humane. I just can't comprehend any of his actions. I still watch them both, waiting for their next move before I take action. It better not be what I am thinking.
Boy Nathaniel goes to sit on the couch after eating such a large part. There is enough for everyone so...
He seems to be reading a magazine on fashion. Well that's what he seemed to be doing before he opened up his mouth and let out words I think was supposed to come out three(3) days before right where we were before in his basement but he shut it for a reason or two.
'Where's it? I think we've done enough for you -- clothed you, fed you, hospitalized you, treated you like one of the -- humans.
I just couldn't hold it in so I let out a scoff something more of laughter. "Where did that come from?" I am changing little by little that's what I've noticed. I can't do that. As I remember to never lose myself I felt the need to retract my previous action but I couldn't. Was it of my hearing or was boy Nathaniel also showing a grin like he enjoyed the reaction I gave him? Strange right?
Then he returns his serious look where it belonged -- his white face which had a scar, a likable one. He looked pretty with it or was it my imagination. 'Where's it? Hun?'
Laylah is confused or did she fake it? I know her or at least for the last five(5) years which I watched her, she sure knew how to fake it. 'I am sorry I don't know what you're talking about. I try racking my head but I can't think of anything you think I am with.' She concludes while rubbing the back of her head and not staring at anyone in particular but up and down.
"She's lying." What's this thing that he seems to be looking for anyway. Dad didn't mention they looked for anything. I ask no question but I stare into nothing but straight into my thoughts. Boy Nathaniel's scream broke me out of it. "What is wrong with him?"
'The flash! 2016.' He says the last word with composure but pressure. He smiles forcefully. He starts to behave like Feline's last born when she left for the trip and leaves them with me -- the craziness, the need for attention. "Where're all these emotions coming from?" I can't even understand myself anymore.
He continues pacing backward and forward, touching his face more often than ever, rearranging his hair more frequently. He looks high but he isn't.
'Don't you remember the library? When you telltaled on Siphoned.' He points to me with his left hand, the hand he used and still is using to touch his face.
'Me, when did he know? Why does he know that? Has he known me since then?" I listened more trying not to jump to conclusions.
'You! Don't give me that look.' He still talks to Laylah.
'You know what I am talking about. I saw you there when you did that after taking the flash from the book you were reading you snake!' He sure is getting pissed off. About me or the flash? That she telltaled on a person who was concluded then as a psychopath? I couldn't laugh more. Mathew deserves it. Now, I am to take this one(Laylah), now see who all disrupted my plan cos they were looking for something, a flash bloody hell.
'Does nothing come to mind?' Laylah shakes her head in affirmation, that snake, boy Nathaniel is right about that. He loses his patience, speeds to where she sits eating, drags her off the chair by her hair and hits her against the wall. What a sight! I continue to sip of the juice I am drinking and smile muttering 'beautiful' under my breath.
'Won't you talk or do you want to be dislocated?' He asks as he wanted her not to go through with that rough process over and over again. 'Do your worst, at the least that's what you all have been doing. Worst case scenario, I'd kick the bucket.' So much for a literary student. 'I'm never telling you where the flash is.' She ends, I knew she knew where it was, that snake!
Boy Nathaniel's button gets pressed, he just can't contain it. It is as if he fights against too many versions of his self -- consciousness and brutality. It is fun watching them both struggle, Laylah and Nathaniel. *scoffs* I continue with my food. He drags Laylah across the floor still with her hair after almost strangling her.
He takes her back where she was before, the basement. I'm sure he just flung her. I don't know I wish he did. He came back looking confused, in pain. It is as if he still battles between both sides that were trying to eat him up. I've been there, I know how it feels but I don't understand. Since the Top's incident, I've been....soft. I feel things on a much deeper level now and it scares me. "What's happening?" I felt when Laylah was in pain, I felt his pain twice now. First on the snow, second when we first arrived here at the forest. "What's happening? Where's the me?"
He looks terrible. His veins came to see what was up. It is that bad. His whole face reddens as if he was about to transform into something other than himself. And I stay there, I don't know what happened but I advanced towards him. Probably to soothe his pain, I don't know. I am more confused than you are cos my legs are betraying me. I get to where boy Nathaniel stands and I stop for a second.
"Yes, I knew I'd forever not be stupid."
Before I knew it, my hands touch his face in a manner I can't understand. Not sensually but with empathy. *scoff* What's wrong with me? I stay there longer than five (5) minutes.
I feel calm. As I touched his face, I feel tranquility like I was rid of my wicked side. I absorb all pain that he feels like foam. I feel it roam through me cos I am a foreign substance. I somehow melt it, the anger he feels, the confusion, the pain. He looks up at me with dazzling eyes. Like he was grateful. Like he didn't know who I was. Like I wasn't me anymore. I know that already, I finally have lost the me. It is calming and I feel it again what I always felt in his stares, electricity. And at that moment we shared, for some reason I didn't want it to stop. For a moment I wanted to feel this, all of these, that I hoped he'd be my downfall.
I didn't care about anything now as I did back there at my first meeting with the top. Our subconscious connected back then and now it did. I felt all of it, empathy, sympathy, pain, wrath, despair, confusion, and most importantly, love.
Will this moment last or will we both return to reality?
WHERE'S MY DAUGHTER?