THE SEDATIVE
I still wander in the forest letting the sun rays bathe me. I can't see a thing. My head is in disarray. It is at times like this I need her, Anne. But Nathaniel locked her up. I don't know how but he did. Now everything is coming to me.
From the moment I started watching Laylah, the neighborhood felt different. I felt new. Evolved. But I didn't pay attention to it then. I thought it didn't matter but here I am.
My head's hot. Headaches came rushing in and still are rushing. I'm hearing those sounds I always hear, frogs croaking.
I find myself out on the road. I can see tall trees and the coal graveled floor but my utmost priority is Nathaniel "How dare he?"
I have mistaken the library incident to be a dream. I know a piece of me was missing. And Nathaniel made me find it. It's like he planned all of this in a stepwise manner and I am the chess piece lurking close to danger.
I walk and walked numbing my legs. The noon's sun met me. I get to the house fortunately after setting out for an endless journey. I get to the brown wooden door. One I passed through with joy before we left for the top. The top caused all of this. If we hadn't met her... But then again I wanted so much to meet with her.
Maybe this is what Dad meant. The Top's crazy. And one thing I have learnt is that to beat crazy you have to be one. I'm already there knocking at its door.
I push open the door with what seems to be my last energy. I get to where my father sat with his sisters. They feel like a pack of lions and any wrong move will lead me to their bellies.
I smile. This all seems familiar. What I always wanted to avoid was inevitable. I smile still.
'What's the problem dear? You look not well.' Nellie asks. I answer not.
I stroll to the kitchen a few steps ahead. I reach for a cupboard collecting a wine glass. I reach for my favorite killer drink, tequila.
I rub the sides of the bottle caressing it like it is my child.
'I never knew I was going to use you now. I saved you for something special, this is perhaps the day.' I talk out loud whilst opening the bottle. I pour myself a full glass aware of the wary eyes. I swallow the whole thing in the cup making a satisfying sound.
I reach for the bottle again and pour myself another full glass. I am lucky it didn't spill. I finish it in less than five (5) seconds. The glass is too small. My alcohol tolerance has grown. I reach for the bottle but this time I drink directly from it. Letting my lips touch the bottle. After five (5) seconds I think, I say two words.
'Shall we?'
I usually do prefer hands rather than objects for afflicting people with pain. I enjoy stamping my trademark on their entity. It makes me feel good, unstoppable. I start again with what I haven't done in a long time. Five years ago to be precise, with Mathew.
I close my eyes reminiscing about it and a clear vivid picture came through.
2016, April 5
I had to change neighborhoods because of Laylah. I couldn't possibly be far from her and still watch her to the fullest. I didn't do anything magnificent. I didn't see anyone. I had no friends except for Anne of course.
I am particularly what you would call a fangirl for the famous K-pop boy band the world has ever seen. That's what keept me company. I read books too. I heard from across the streets when I passed by a few days after I moved in that there was a library nearby. I took it upon myself to search for it.
People talk too loud here. I have no reason why. I got to the library on foot after ten(10) minutes. It wasn't far. I entered through the transparent door looking unkempt. Not that it was that bad.
My hair was a mess --all greasy and to an extent smelly. I haven't washed since I've arrived here. I got into the library standing a bit away from the door. It was huge. I didn't know where to start from. What to do. New places confuse me that's why I don't bother going out in the first place.
I managed to move my legs which turned heavy. To look across and not stare at the floor. Or how was I to get to a shelf? I mind my business not uttering even letters. I minimized my breathing. Anxiety wanted to start to get the best of me.
I look around for a direction of some sort. I couldn't bring myself to ask anyone. I paced forth and back. Right and left and I still didn't find what I was looking for. "I should probably go."
I was on my way to leaving this place when a boy almost my height came to me. To be fair, he and Laylah shared the same height, my shoulder length.
'Are you lost? Do you need anything?' I say nothing to him. I just let my eyes trail him from top to bottom. Dimples. White-skinned. Ankle boots. Deep blue jeans. Sea green t-shirt. He looked smart, nerdy.
I show no expressions of any sort. I did what I intended to do before he stopped me. I continued walking almost reaching the door. I could see it a few steps ahead. I wasn't rushing my pace just slowly taking it.
He got in front of me and still questioned me.
'I thought you were getting a book? Aren't you getting it anymore? I can join you in looking for it.'
'Kid, leave me.' I say in a soft tone not raising my voice. I walked past him and went out the door walking back home. A lot of thoughts came to my mind on how best to get Laylah. I then remembered that Mathew and she were in the same class. I remembered his face when I was spying on her. They were always together.
I thought of taking the boy for a meal. Probably I could ask him a few personal things about Laylah. "I would probably get caught right? Seeing how quick-witted he is."
I shook the idea but still found myself going back to the library. I scanned the entire place for him but he wasn't there. I should probably have accepted his help.
I walked back to my destination. It was almost evening. Setting out late for the library was a bad idea. I hate the dark cos I couldn't see that well in it. I walked back hunched staring at the floor. People passing by would probably deem me less self-confident. They should think what they want to. I didn't feel like concealing that side of me now.
I heard screams on my way back. One of a small boy. I let out a deep breath. "Let's just have fun shouldn't we?"
I planned to stay by the corner to just watch the commotion and I did just that. I came across a figure trying to steal a boy. Ankle boots. Deep blue jeans. Sea green t-shirt. He is the one, the library boy.
I looked for a stair to sit on. I couldn't possibly be watching this comedic struggling standing. I finally got one, the stair. I sit under a motion sensored streetlight. Directly in front of them was where I sat so I got a proper view. I fashionably crossed my legs. I wore trousers so it was easier. I hardly wear skirts.
The boy continued to scream for the whole neighborhood to hear him but nobody came. The figure dressed in white all over should have worn black. That's what I thought. Or wouldn't he want to conceal his presence? I would wear black if I was him.
The boy's eyes met mine. And he pointed to me. I make my fingers point to myself and I still look around if he meant me. I was visible to both of them but I still did as if I didn't understand.
'Help me.'
'Why?' I didn't need to shout cos the distance wasn't that far. "Why should I help him?" This one, the one who set out to kidnap him wasn't in his right state. He could have sedated him long ago and carried him along. But no, he's struggling with a fifteen(15) year old.
I get up to where they both were. The boy clung to a pole whilst the figure kept dragging him. I trailed my eyes to meet with the man disgustingly. 'Is this the best you can do?'
'Hun?'
'Don't you have a sedative?' He replied in affirmation. I gave him the one in my hoody's pocket. It was already in a syringe ready to be used. I put in the needle and gave it to him. Use it on him, that way you can lower his breathing and take him wherever you want to.'
He was flustered, the man. Mathew was confused. I came to know of his name when I went back to the library to look for him. The librarian adores him.
He took the sedative from me and Mathew had no words. "What did he expect before? Kindness?"
'Bye-bye boy.'
"What was the man waiting for?" With a smile on my face, I indicated that he used it and fast. He did as he was told. He sedated him.
Mathew let go of the pole unwillingly. The man took him and that was it. I had to go.
WHERE'S MY DAUGHTER?