That was the worse I had seen her
"Mom?!" I yelled in fear before running back to her. Her dark eyes were droopy and her face looked like that of a fifty years old flushed . She had a coffee mug in her hands, taking a sip out of it
I just sure hope it was coffee.
I took it out of her hands and glanced down into the content, it didn't look or smelled like coffee before I kept it aside. My heart was aching seeing tears running down my mom's face.
"You can't keep doing this!" I yelled a bit, she looked down to the table her tears dropping on it. I hated it when she does that with the coffee mug, it's a total infringement of its purpose. She kept sulking quietly as I observed her, feeling pain strike through my chest to my throat. I couldn't help it choke on some of the tears I was fighting back.
"I'm sorry Mom, I didn't mean to yell" I choked out caressing her hand softly resting against the table. She took my hand and pulled me into a hug.
"No, I'm sorry I failed you both. I should have known" her body was shaking from the crying. Her words felt like a dagger was plunged deep into my heart. I knew she was going through alot these couple of years, the least I wanted was to see her waste away like this. I pulled out of the hug and took her hand pulling her out of the chair.
"Let's get you in bed" I said before walking back upstairs with her. She was a little drunk but not enough to make her lose balance. I put her right in bed ignoring the fact that she needed a bath desperately. I tucked her in and sat beside her. I kept brushing my fingers into her hair while her eyes slowly started getting heavy before she drifted into a deep sleep. I kissed her forehead and mouthed I love you in her ear before leaving the room closing the door lightly behind me.
I walked back down stairs to the kitchen. I picked the mug and dumped the drink in the sink, I watched as it turned pink before going through the sinkhole. It was very odd for any type of drink to turn pink, maybe a chemical reaction or something. I grabbed the sponge and squeeze on the lemon scented dish soap and started scrubbing the cup. I wasn't just scrubbing it, I was trying to block out the feeling that was coming to surface. Tears were starting to blur my vision as I furiously continue to wash the mug, it could have loose it's red color from excessive energy I was using. I started shaking and my knees dropped me to the floor. I leaned against the cupboard crying my heart out, silently.
My heart was beating fast and I couldn't get around the thought of my dad. My hand was still covered in leather from the soap while I put my them against my forehead. I needed to calm down and fast, I didn't want to be doing this myself. I pushed off the floor wiping my face with the inside of my elbow. I rinsed the mug and placed it back in the cabinet.
I looked out the kitchen window and the sun has already started to set. The sky was bathed in shades of orange and red with puffy clouds and the breeze gently brushing through the trees, me and dad would always watched the sunset. It has always enchanted me but not as much as watching the moon. There is something about the big bowl of light in the night sky that makes me want to fly to it. I grabbed my juice box and went outside leaving the front door wide opened. I sat on the porch with my feet on the stairs. I breathe in deep and slow feeling the rose in my throat go down a bit. I held it for seconds before breathing out with it the pain and tears flow down my cheeks. I couldn't believe it has been a year and a half without dad. I clutched the necklace he's given me in my fist, I had been wearing it ever since he gave me, telling me to keep it close to my heart; and that I always do. I still feel his presence and that he would be home when I was back from school or would pull up in the driveway any moment. I was thinking the same right that instant. I would hold on to him and never let go. He was a hero and I would want to be more, to honor him. He was a brave officer saving a stray animal getting rammed by a truck in the process. I took couple of more deep breath before I heard footsteps coming from behind me. He brushed himself against my side and I couldn't help it smile. He let out a small whimper and kept nudging my side with his snout tickling me with his breath in turn making me giggle a bit. He always knows a way to make me better
"Hey boy! Did you miss me?" I asked brushing my fingers into his soft brown fur. He whimpered a little more before sitting beside me. He was liking it
"I missed you too" I said looking back at the sky watching the sunset memories flooding my mind.