I sat by the table still clearly upset by my mom, I haven't even touched my breakfast since after she made herself clear
"it's my decision to make and it's final" when was it a child gets deprived of education? especially for such a trivial matter and so say that I was under house arrest was even an under statement. We sat in awkward silence, I was doing most of the sitting though, Mom was busy pan stirring bacon I thought it was mostly to avoid me too. The front doorbell rang and I instinctively looked up to the kitchen threshold.
"I'll get it" she said before getting the door, she wasn't going to let me anywhere near it, I might just run away. But that's not me, I wanted to know where all this came from and when it's going to end. I sat there until I heard two more footsteps apart from my mother's entering the kitchen.
"Nan!" I yelled happily before lunging myself into her. She smelled like cats and tulips, I just love it. You know how grandparent's hugs can be so cuddly, loving and super warm. It felt like being enclosed in a cocoon to tender for your delicateness. There is something about their hugs that I couldn't even begin to describe, it's magical. Tears were starting to wet my face again and I began shaking all together. She was patting my hair lovingly and kissing my temple.
"It's ok dear, it will all be okay" Nan assured soothingly before pushing my chin up to look in her warm face. I felt the cramp in my chest slowly dissolving in her smile. More again she kind of looks like my dad a lot. I nodded in compliance as she led me back to the table with Grandpa
"Dear it's nothing to fear" my grandpa said softly with a smile. "
Nothing to fear?"
did my mom talk to them about sending me to some mysterious place that existed only in her mind. Oh! And that just because I had a rash that was slightly turning into something else she flipped and couldn't let me out of the house. She wasn't telling me much and now I was told not to fear.
"Why is she sending me away to someplace?!" I asked the question that has been bugging me. My grandmother's gaze shifted to my mother whom was preparing to seat by me. My grandmother's hand tighten around mine, I didn't know why she was hesitant and nervous.
"It's not just any place but shallow falls my dear," Nan looked nervous as she slightly threw a glance towards my mom
"You my dear is so lucky, your mother loved you....she still does and that is why she's sending you there" she said delicately brushing her other hand over mine. It sounded to it there is more than what she's saying. Like it made any sense that it's shallow falls. It seems they all knew about this place and no one does, not even the internet. They shouldn't back her up when she's out of her mind and clearly needed help.
"It still doesn't explain why" I stated as gently as I could but I wasn't sure if it was. Silence washed over us, they kept throwing glances at each other.
"And this place doesn't even exist, you cannot just send me off to a world of your imagination" I was losing it, they cannot just send me away even if it existed I stood up from my seat in rage and the first thing I noticed was the room spined along it's axis, I stood my ground waiting for it to stop but it got me more confused .I felt a sharp irritating pain in the nape of my neck afterwards, right on my rash. I reached my hand over it moaning briefly, my mom rushed up and wrapped her hands around me
"Are you ok?"
"I don't know, I don't feel ok. it's hurting" I said through pain, it felt like hot lava was poured over my neck.
"You need to sit down" She tried to sit me down
I pushed up against it, it felt I spoke unconsciously "I don't want to leave Dad's memories"
"Daddy's memories will always be with you" I overheard like she was crying
My vision was starting to get blurry but then clear again, apart from all the pain growing inside of me It was like being drunk all of a sudden, my ears were temporarily on and off too.
"Get the medication" I heard granddad's voice echoed in urgency. I saw Nan's lips moving but I couldn't hear a thing anymore. I wasn't sure if I was sitting, standing or laying down but everything seem to be folding in itself. The heat was starting to spread down to my arms, and the entirety of my skin covered in perspiration. Nausea kicked in, my heart rate elevated rapidly, I had never felt it beat that way all in fractions of seconds of me getting on my feet. I felt my lungs collapse, refusing to contract for air
What's happening to me?!
Am I dying?
My eyes couldn't stay opened anymore before my body failed, it was like everything stopped for a moment and then I blacked out with the sound of me exhaling the last bit of air in me.
~~~~~
In what seemed like forever I finally felt around me again, I was on the living room sofa. I immediately regret regaining consciousness because it seemed like the whole universe came crashing down on my chest. My ribcage felt crushed down into my lungs everything hurt not especially my head and my body was sensitive with pain. That burning sensation was still on my neck. I clenched my eyes even tighter trying to focus on the positives, which were lacking. That was when I felt the mouth of a glass placed on my lower lip. I scrunched up my face as the scent hit my nose, it smelled awful. My head started to throb even worse. I'm not drinking that stuff.
"Drink" I heard Nan said before pressing it even harder against my lip. I had to take it in if not they will probably force it down my throat. I opened my mouth a bit and the content slipped in, it's viscosity was that of water but didn't taste like it. It was even worst than the purple vile I took last night, this one tasted like fish guts mixed with sweat of a messed up guy that didn't bath for a month, and finally dirt from which livestock stomped on for like a year and left to brew for days. Not that I knew any of those taste but I couldn't even push it down my throat because vomit was threatening to spoil my shirt. I couldn't hold it anymore I pushed off the couch and ran back to the kitchen. The green water and last night's dinner all came back up, weird it should have digested by now. I gagged uncontrollably feeling my stomach turn and flip and my chest burning. I dropped to the floor immediately after, tears making their way down my cheeks. I felt fever coming on and my body was starting to tremble. I wasn't feeling my body parts as I should. I could feel fire all over my body but concentrated on my neck. They rushed to my side, my mom enveloped me in a hug with tears.
"Mom, am I dying?" I asked in a low voice, I think there was more to say than they were offering. The rash, mom is hiding something about it. I couldn't think of what could possibly be attacking my system this fast other than cancer.
"No, you'll be fine" she said in a reassuring tone. How could she be so sure at this moment.
"Please don't send me away" I begged
"It's happening too fast" Nan said with fear in her voice. It's true then something was happening to me and they didn't feel the need to share the details. They can't protect me from it, I need to know what it is.
"I cannot understand anything, she needs to be out of here fast" I heard my mom said, I was putting so much energy to focus on their words. My vision was starting to zoom in and out successively, their voices seem to be in my head. It felt like I was going under again, getting paralyzed and just in front of my eyes the kitchen morphed into a deserted ground; I could hear voices in the background and then it's over.
"Tomorrow, it can be arranged" I heard her say again.
Tomorrow
---------------------------
I saw her again, the woman with red wavy hair running past me. I followed her into the thick forest, bathed in partial darkness. The moon stood full, huge and sparkling lighting up some parts of the forest. She was out of sight in seconds, she was really fast.
How could she be that fast?
I needed to ask her why she kept running away from me, I needed to know why I felt her pain, why I felt the urge to follow after her. I focused all I have got and it seemed to be working. I was starting to run faster and also feel her presence even more, as though a string was attached to us guiding me through to her. The thick forest air hit my skin harshly, almost tearing through me as I ran making it feel so real. It appeared to be my feet were barely touching the ground. I came to a stop when I saw her standing by the edge of a cliff, the wind brushing through her hair lightly. She had her back turned on me as always that's all I ever saw.
"Please! Stop" I pleaded with her in a low voice, with all the distance between us both; I wasn't so sure she heard me. But I could hear her whimper softly, she was crying. I took a step forward just before she looked over her shoulder making me freeze in my spot, I got captivated by it. The only thing I caught a glimpse of was her radiant blue eyes before she jumped off.
"No!"
I woke up drained in sweat and tears. I was panting so hard and my body was trembling. It was that dream again, I've had it a couple of times but not since three years ago. It always stops with her standing by the cliff without a word or even moving but this time she looked behind then jumped off. Why would she jump? Suicide was never a way out. I sat up on my bed confused and hurt. It was all a dream just a stupid dream. I was all settled and that's when I realized I was in my room. I couldn't remember me walking to my room and I was still in my yesterday's.
"She needs to be out of here fast"
I remembered Nan and mom talking and she said tomorrow and tomorrow is today. I jumped out of bed and luckily I was feeling a lot better. I walked out and down the hall rushing downstairs and the first thing I saw was my suitcase sitting there quietly, it was hurtfully not surprising. I made my way to the kitchen because I heard their chattering. I walked inside and everyone of them look up to me with concern plastered all over their faces.
"It's a good thing you're awake, I was just going to wake you now" my mom said casually glancing at her wrist watch like everything was ok. I precisely hate the fact that she was calling the shots without consulting me and acting as normal as she could. Nothing was right and they all are leaving me in the dark about it.
"What's the suitcase for?!" I asked sternly crossing my arms over my chest.
"You will be late for your ride, have breakfast and go get ready" She was talking as if she was sending me on a holiday to paradise.
"why are you doing this?" silence dominated while my pain soared, she looked up looking surprised, I immediately got exasperated
"....and why should I listen to you?!" I yelled tears streaming down to my cheeks. I felt the rage, I felt hurt and every emotion there is. I cannot leave here, it was my home. It's where the memories of dad dwells. The things I ever care for were there, I cannot leave her. She needs me...I need her
"Gia, I am your mother" she said carefully taking steps closer to me her eyes in tears.
"Then Fucking act like one" I yelled vulgarly throwing my hands up and then putting them back on my face. I couldn't stop myself from crying heavily. I felt alone, I didn't want to feel like that
"Gia!" Nan said firmly
"Dad would have never agreed to this" I said before running back upstairs. I slammed my door shut locking it behind me. I didn't know what to feel, my throat was stabbing me and I couldn't help let out the scream building in my stomach.
-------------
I was all more cranky after I took a bath
Can you blame me?!
I was forced to leave my own town without any proper explanation, more over I wasn't allowed to let anyone know I was leaving, not even Chris. I texted her I was a little sick and contagious too, so I didn't want her anywhere near my house for couple of days. Guess what my awesome friend texted back
Dang it! Who's paying for my lunch today u should get well in a few days, will miss those pop tarts!!!!( She added a crying emoji and a broken heart)
It literally made me cry , not that she said all that but that's her way of saying
I love you and get better soon
My stomach hurts a little, I didn't have breakfast because I had zero appetite since after that liquid. I had my bleached jeans on with a light blue blouse, I sat in my bed hugging my knees, I felt abandoned.
How was I supposed to fit in with the people I never set eyes on and in a town that doesn't exist? She new I hate starting over and coming as the new kid
I mean I highly doubt if she was ever sending me there. Maybe she was going to send me to a hospital or a healthcare center but didn't want to give away that I was sick or dying. Actually that would have been a lot better than what she told me. It was starting to itch again, I reached my hand to scratch it. I scratched on it lightly, I didn't want more damage and it still hurts. Since I couldn't wear the necklace my dad gave me, I had in on my bedside. I picked it up and stare down at it tracing around it's outline, it almost felt like I was touching him. I felt something weird, some sort of energy or presence before I heard a faint knock on my door, I turned my head away so I couldn't see who was coming in since I was facing that direction. I didn't have to be told it was my mom who came in but I also didn't want to talk to her about everything that's happening, I might make it worse. I continued to stare at the necklace, feeling it around in my palms and indulging in the energy. I felt a dip in my bed as I begin to fight back tears. I felt her hand patting my hair down and then a long kiss followed. I heard her snivel before getting off the bed.
"It's Time!"