"Mooom...can we get some chocolate? And some milk? Pretty please?" Ashley whined.
We were loading the Range Rover some gas and we went inside a convenience store to pick up something to eat. I sighed. "Ashley, you'll start again."
She frowned and I just couldn't disappoint her. "Just one." I said and she squealed, grabbing a huge bar of Hershey's Milk Chocolate and a box of fresh milk. I took the things Ashley wanted from her hands and gestured for her to come with me. I walked around the store, looking for Avery and Cheetos with Ashley clinging on to my shirt. I found Avery clutching a bag of Cheetos and a kids magazine I knew he would forget about the next hour.
I sighed. They're starting again. Starting to be depressed and returning to their addictions. Ashley with the chocolate thing and Avery with the wasting money thing. I noticed that since this morning, Ashley was clingier and binging on sweets. Now, Avery was showing signs of his depression again. It was all my fault. I forced them to be nicer to Sasha ever since that little incident on the bathroom because she's obviously devastated. But I didn't intend for my kids to take her place.
I paid for everything and we trudged off to where the family car was parked. Sasha was sitting on the passenger seat with her arms folded on her chest. The kids climbed on the back seat, their bag of candies on tow. I handed Sasha the bag of Cheetos and a bottle of Fanta. She accepted it with a mumble of thanks before scowling at me.
"You bought them that much candy?" She inquired.
"Yes, but that is for a month. No more candies until then." I replied but sounds more like a warning to the twins.
I chuckled at their reactions. "Season seven's taping will start tomorrow. Are you ready?" Sasha asked without looking up from her phone.
"'Course."
"Mom, tomorrow is our first day of school. Will you take us?" Ashley asked.
"Sure, baby."
"First day of school? Which school are they attending?" Sasha asked.
"Warrington Academy. I switched them, so..."
She sighed. "So I couldn't ask the principal the permission to take them with me. But what's the point? You just told me the name of the school."
"I dunno. I guess it's fine for you to visit them from time to time."
"Thank you." She gave me a smirk. The one she shares with Avery.
***
"Auntie Leanne!"
As soon as we arrived in the shoot, my kids are like superstars, being the only kids of a cast member. They were greeted by everyone, some even gave them candies or cookies. But their favorite was of course, the main cast. Meaning, Bry, Leanne and Pia.
"Hey, babes.Haven't seen you in a while."Leanne greeted, while blowing a raspberry on Ash's cheek.
"Dude!" Pia exclaimed as she entered the dressing room with Bry beside her. Avery giggled as he tackled Pia with a bear hug.
Bry smiled and gave me a hug. "Missed you so much, Buttah.You feeling alright?"
"Of course, Benz. And I'm kinda putting us up in good terms again."
Bry frowned. "You still love her."
"What? No. I try for my kids."
"Doesn't seem like it. Look at them, Shea. They hate your ex-wife."
I sighed. "Exactly. I don't want them to hate her, I want them to accept the fact that she is still the one who gave birth to them. If it wasn't for her-"
"If it wasn't for her, none of you will be depressed. Maybe you would've been married to a decent man. Or a girl if it rocks your boat. You should put yourself back in the market and stop wallowing in your problems. Find someone to share them with."
I kept silent. Knowing she was probably right. There was a knock on the door and a staff stuck her head in.
"Girls, we're on in five."
We all nodded our heads and left the dressing room to Avery, Ashley and my assistant Sammy who treats my kids as her own.
Sasha was already there, chatting up with Ian. Ever since they found out Sasha was cheating, Ian was the only one who talked to her. Partly because he's sort of friends with John and partly because he's "trying to keep the friendship between the cast". What a joke.
"Hey guys." Ian greeted as we appeared on set.
We all mumbled a hi, hello or hey, not really paying much attention and focusing on the next scene. I saw Sasha staring at me from a distance and I shook my head, giving her a hint that I knew what she was doing. I turned around to blow her off but she kept staring.
"Do you remember?" She asked.
---
I sighed. What if she doesn't say yes?
"You're overthinking, Shea. She'll say yes. You've been dating for two years. She loves you as much as you love her. Go on, it's now or never."
"Thanks, Leanne."
"Here it is. Good luck, Shea. Go get your girl!" Pia said, handing me a bouquet of tulips.
I stood up to meet Sasha sitting on a hill. We were stationed here to shoot a few scenes for Season Five and I just have to do it here since it's so pretty and I want this to be memorable. I patted my pocket to make sure the ring was there and made my way towards a girl whose golden locks are fluttering from the wind.
I cleared my throat to catch her attention; she turned around and grinned when she saw me with flowers.
"Are those for me?"
"Um...yes." I handed her the bouquet and huffed. "Sasha Embeth Peters, we've been dating for two years and known each other for almost seven. You were just a thirteen year old teenager with messy hair and hormone problems, call me a pedophile but I still thought you were the prettiest girl I ever saw. When we started dating, I always thought in the back of my mind that you're too good for me. And I guess it's still true. I can never live without you, because Sasha, you're the air I breathe. I want to spend the rest of my life with you and I don't ever want to lose you. There is a funny feeling in my chest that tells me everything will be alright when I'm with you. And it will keep saying it forever. It is for that reason I'm in front of you now and asking you the greatest question of my life:" I knelt before her and stared into her glossy blue eyes. I took the box from my pocket and opened it, revealing a sapphire ring. "Can you do me a favor and be my forever?"
---
"I try not to." I answered blankly.
"Do you regret it?"
"If I tell you I regretted it, I'm also telling you that I regretted having my children. No, I don't. I just think of it as a beautiful mistake."
S A S H A
I felt my knees buckling and my eyes on the verge of tearing up.
It's not everyday you get to be called a mistake. Why did I even listen to John? Why did I let him touch me? Maybe I was just confused because he always told me that he could make me feel like a woman.
I sighed and just finished work.
***
"Shea! Where are you going? We're still not done shooting some scenes." The director exclaimed.
"What? I'm supposed to bring my kids to school."
"Can't you just let Sammy take them?"
"Sammy left to do some errands with her sister. My kids can't drive there and I need to go to the grocery."
"I'm sorry, Shea. But we won't be going back to this site anymore and we need to finish all the scenes. I'm really sorry."
"I'll take them." I said, rather bravely.
"Are you sure, Sasha?" The director asked.
I turned to face Shea. "Is it okay?"
She huffed and hesitated for a while. "My keys are inside the leather pouch in my duffle. I'll take a cab home. You need to pick them up at five and not a moment too late because Ashley will start panicking."
"And the groceries?"
"The list is in the pouch too."
I nodded and made my way to Shea's dressing room where I found my son and daughter looking extremely bored. They were watching something in Shea's laptop and they were surprised to see me. Ashley was wearing a plaid red and blue skirt and a white blouse with a ribbon with the same pattern as the skirt and Avery was wearing the same except his was long pants and a white button down.
"Where's Mom?" Avery asked.
"She still has some work to do so I'm going to take you to school."
"Can't Auntie Leanne bring us? Or Auntie Bry? Or Auntie Luce?" Ashley stammers.
"Baby, they all have work. It's either me, Ian or Keegan. None of which are close to you."
"Uncle Tyler?"
"He already left."
Avery groaned and Ashley had this pained look in her eyes. The twins weren't extremely close to me from the beginning but I know they somehow loved me. But they didn't show any signs of being sad when I left so maybe they didn't.
"We're going to be late, Ash." Avery spoke.
I could feel my heart beat faster. They considered my offer.
"Let's get this over with." Ashley sighed while picking up a hot pink backpack on the couch.
Avery got up and took his green backpack from the dresser and I went over to grab the keys and the grocery list from Shea's pouch. The whole walk to the Rover was already awkward because Avery kept kicking rocks and Ashley was mumbling about forcing Shea.
I parked the car in the school's lot and Ashley was scowling at the mirror while Avery was deciding about something.
"What is it, Avery?"
He squirmed in his seat and pushed his glasses to his eyes. He cleared his throat before starting. "Guardians have this sort of orientation before the class starts and we won't get our handbooks until a guardian presents him or herself to the teacher and I was wondering..."
"Of course. Come on, guys."
The teacher who introduced herself as Miss Hattie led us to a classroom where another teacher called Mr. Pines was writing an attendance sheet.
"I'm here for the Moore twins." I told him.
"Are you Miss Shea Moore?" He asked grumpily.
"Um. No, I'm Sasha Peters, her ex-wife."
He was taken aback by my intoduction. But he quickly recovered and wrote my name on the sheet.
"How do you spell Petersah?"
"P-E-T-E-R-S. Jeez, don't you watch the television?"
"No. Though I'm pretty sure the other guardians do."
I peeked over my shoulder to find mothers staring at me with their mouths open. I cleared my throat and they all returned to tending to their kids.
Mr. Pines handed me two red handbooks and told us to sit anywhere. They took a chair next to each other on the second row and kept quiet. I sat next to them and gave them both a handbook.
"Thanks." Avery mumbled.
Miss Hattie entered the room again with a few reminders and instructions. After her ten minute blabbing, she told us it was okay to go home now and the students will start their classes. Ashley said bye and Avery waved at me. I waved to them as I leave and one of the nosy mother was asking me some questions.
"Mrs. Moore, can I ask you something?" She asked while catching up to me. I tried walking faster but my foot hurts because of the heels. Damn.
"Ask away." I responded voidly.
"Are you on good terms with Shea?"
I scoffed. "No. We're just trying to work things out."
She nodded but kept annoying me. "What was the real reason of your divorce? I heard someone cheated. Is it true."
I stopped in my tracks and glared at her. "Okay, that's way too personal."
"But-"
"Look, Miss. I really want to stay and chat but I have to go to the grocery and I have to pick up my twins in four hours. And I just came home from work so I'm really tired."
"I understand. Sorry, Mrs. Moore. Hope you have a nice day."
***
I went to the frozen food aisle and took a pack of bacon and the Canadian ones. Knowing Shea, she'd probably complain because she wants ham on the table. And knowing my kids, they probably want real bacon. So I got both.
I strolled to the chips aisle and got some Cheetos and Pringles for Shea then I went to the biscuits to get cookies, chocolate and some wafers. I got them two loaves of bread and cheese and peanut butter. I was pushing my cart to the counter to check out when my phone rang.
"Hon? Where are you?"
"I'm just at the grocery, John."
"Whose groceries are you buying?"
"Shea's."
He let out a heavy breath and said, "Be back soon, okay?"
"I will."
"I love you."
I felt my head becoming a ton less heavier and my heart constricted.
"Me too." I said, hanging up.
***
"Do you guys want anything?" I asked my kids as soon as they got into the Rover.
"Ashley...would you like to say something?" Avery teased, dragging his words.
Ashley scoffed. "No."
"She wants ice cream and cake." Her brother blurted in a hurry.
"Gee. Thanks, twin bro." She retorted sarcastically.
I chuckled and nodded my head. "Ice cream it is."
I drove all the way to Prima's, the best and most popular ice cream shop and bakery in LA. They serve mouth-watering dishes and everyone wonders what they put in there.
"Are you ready to order?" A cute petite girl asks.
"I'll have two scoops of vanilla." I said.
"I want the strawberry special and Ashley wants five scoops of avocado." Avery answered for him and his sister.
"What?! No way, I'll have the same as Avery."
"Is that all?"
"We'll take a black forest cake to go."
The girl left, leaving me and the twins with awkward silence. Avery cleared his throat and spoke up after two minutes of solid quiet.
"Thanks for bringing us here, Sasha. Mom has been really busy lately and she rarely goes out with us these past few weeks."
I stared at him in awe. He speaks like a true gentleman now and it amazes me how much he's grown over the past six months.
The girl returned with the ice cream and a box of cake. We thanked her and the twins scarfed down their cold treats as quickly as they could.
"Your Mom should be home by now. Come on." I told them as soon as they were done eating.
I took the cake from the table and ushered my kids out of the shop. But when we arrived home, Shea was nowhere to be seen.
"Thanks for all your help, Sasha." Ashley said as they stepped inside their house.
"Are you sure you'll be okay? I mean, I could stay for a while until Shea comes home."
"No, we'll be okay. We have Angel." Avery brushed off.
"I'm not comfortable leaving you here alone. Has Shea done this before?"
"This is the first time we'll be alone...But that's okay. There are still some leftovers and I think we'll do just fine." Avery replied nervously.
"I'm staying and I'm making you guys dinner. You shouldn't do this, you're only seven. If this ever happens again, call your Mamu." I said sternly. "Go change your clothes."
I hauled the groceries out of the Rover and took the ingredients to make meat lasagna. I put it all up in a tray and shoved it in the microwave.
Avery appeared in the kitchen wearing basketball shorts and a muscle shirt with a "Surfer Dude" print. "Sasha, can I get some chocolate milk?"
"Of course." I said, grabbing the carton and a cup. "Where's Ashley? Dinner's almost ready."
"Ashleeey! Time to eeeaaat!"
He took the cup and a cookie from Shea's cookie jar and sauntered to the living room.