S A S H A
Three hours.
It's been three hours and we still haven't got a clue on how Avery is holding up. After an hour, I stopped crying by myself. I just felt so empty and broken that my whole body didn't want to function anymore. Not even the petty tears would want to fall. Ashley and Pia arrived and they all sat beside Shea who was still crying her brains out, no one could calm her down.
I was sitting away from them, sulking in my own misery. I wanted peace. Besides, no one would even want to stay with me. And I knew what they were saying, that this is all my fault and not Shea's.
In a weird way, I agree with them.
They were right. This is my entire fault. I mess everything up, starting from my perfect marriage, my loving kids and my proud parents. They used to think I was an angel, brought to them by God. I am anything but. I'm a mistake. A factory reject where all I could ever say was the wrong things; the things that would ruin my once perfect life. I regret being with John too much, but I could never stop making a mistake. Now it's all crashing down on me and my sanity's barely strong enough to handle me.
"Avery Moore?" A doctor had asked.
We all stood up, desperately wanting to hear the news. My son is seven years old; I can only imagine the possibilities of him still being alive.
"H-how is he?" Leanne asked, seeing as she was the only one strong enough to find her voice.
The doctor took his glasses off and wiped them on his lab coat. I braced myself for the worst. I shut my eyes and prayed to heavens that they keep my son on the ground. A few tears escaped from my eyelids and I clenched my hands in fists.
"Miss Peters, Miss Moore, your son is a very strong boy." The doctor started. "But a seven year old's strength isn't exactly what you call a good lifeline."
Shea moved so fast that I haven't even noticed that she moved towards the old doctor before I saw her clutching the collar of his lab coat, fuming mad. "Stop saying shit! I want to know how my son is now!" She bellowed.
"Miss Moore, your son is in a coma. He hit his head hard enough to kill him but he fought for his life. His strength, it can only take him as far as his current condition. We don't know for sure if he'll hold up for long. I'm sorry; we did the best we could do. Let's just hope to heavens he'll live." He said in a hurry.
When he announced what had happened to Avery, he left without another word, rushing back to the ER. Shea slowly turned her attention to me, the untamed anger etched on her beautiful face was never a pretty sight.
"This is all your fault! He gave you his heart and you didn't just break it! You burned it to ashes! This morning when I woke up, he was jumping up and down, trying to make me bring him to see you! He begged me to see you! Bringing him there was supposed to cheer him up! But just like before, you hurt him. You hurt him more than you think, Sasha. He blamed himself when you left! He kept saying that maybe if he did better at school or cleaned his stuff, you wouldn't have left!" She shouted. "He forgave you, Sasha. Because of you, there is a chance that I could never hear his voice again. Aren't you tired? If I was in your shoes, I would leave now." She sobbed.
My knees gave way and I fell on the floor in heap. That's when it all finally sunk in. My son could never see the light of day again. He might never get the pet turtles he always asked me before. He might never get to drive a car. He might never get to see his sister and play with her ever again because in the next few days, he might be gone. And it was all my fault.
***
"Sasha, you need to eat. You've been staring off into space since yesterday." John reminded as we sat on the dining table, a plate of pasta in front of me.
I didn't even notice I was there and that there was food under my nose until he mentioned it. I was too devastated to think about anything else other than my son who is probably lying on a cold hospital bed with a life supporter on him. Is he still breathing? I don't know. I didn't even know which hospital room he was in. I don't know the look on his face right now. Surely, it didn't have the smirk it always had. The smirk he was proud of because he got it from me.
"Sasha, he'll live; stop being so dramatic." He said in a firm voice.
I wanted to snap at him but the only thing I could do was furrow my eyebrows and grip the fork in my hand. He held on to my free hand and kissed it softly.
"Stop thinking about him. Why don't we just organize our wedding today? Do you want to get married in a church? I really-"
I cut him off by standing from my chair and plunging the fork I was holding into the dark oak table, making three holes on it. "How could you say these things?! My son is fighting for his life in the hospital I was banned from going inside and you are sitting here, making plans for our wedding? What kind of person are you?" I shouted.
He looked taken aback from my outburst, making him stand up from his position. When he was halfway from standing though, my palm connected to his cheek and he staggered from the force I exerted.
"What the-? I was only trying to get your mind off of things. I did a good thing and you slap me?!" He held his cheek with his right hand and glared at me.
"How is planning our wedding going to help? We are the reason for Avery's current condition. That wedding you so wanted to plan is the spark that made his bomb go off. I pushed him off the edge and while he's struggling to breathe out there somewhere, we're making his misery worse if he ever do wake up. I'm sorry John, but I'll talk to you when you're done being selfish."
I sauntered off the dining and went to leave. I grabbed the hoodie hanging on the coat rack and ran outside to God knows where. I just kept running and running and running, not bothering to look at the stop signs or to look behind my back if John tried to catch up on me.
Surprisingly, I reach the place I dreaded to go to, without killing myself on the way. Add to the unpleasant surprises was seeing one of the people who hated me the most.
"Leanne, what are you doing here?" I breathed. As I did so, I took a sharp intake of breath, trying to keep my eyes from gushing out tears and breaking down in front of her.
"This is still your thing, huh? The slide where Shea asked you to be her girlfriend? Cliché. But I had a feeling you'd be here."
I eyed her suspiciously. "You didn't."
She chuckled. "No. Your boyfriend called Shea using your phone and she was about to chew you out again when Mr. Fuckboy blurted you ran away. Shea made me go here. She knew you'd be here."
"Why would you be here? You all hate me." I sniffed.
"Not true. Shea still loves you in a weird way. She can't even look at Katie in the eye when she arrived."
"Why are you telling me this?"
She sighed. "She needs to move on, Sasha. She'll stop hurting when you give her closure. Let her be, set her out in the open, say the right words for once. Give her your love as the best friend she once had. I'm not saying you should do this right now but you eventually have to. I don't know what you're trying to do with your family but you need to stop it. It's hurting the four of you in a twisted way. And remember; try saying the right words for a change. It will turn all better in the end."
When she was done talking, she turned to leave and walked away.
"Wait! Leanne!" I ran after her.
"What?" She asked with an annoyed face.
"How's Avery?" I said.
She chuckled. "Guess your kid is as strong as his mother. The doctor's said he's better than yesterday but the danger is still there."
"What about Ashley? How is she holding up?"
"She's okay now. That crying really drained her out but she's eating and well."
"Thank you. For being here." I smiled shyly.
I was shocked when she pulled me into her arms and hugged me like there was no tomorrow. "Just wait and see. Everything will be great before you know it."