S A S H A
*Tok, tok, tok, tok, tok.*
I sat up from the couch I was napping in and went to open the door. I peeked through the hole and saw Shea laughing and smiling at a petite, faux red head girl. She looks familiar.
"...fun night, Katie. Do you want to come in?"
"Nah. It's really late."
The girl stood on tippy-toes and pecked Shea's lips. "Night, Moore." She winked.
"Night, Stevens."
Then it hit me. Well, more like it fell from the space station and it fell on me. Katie. Katie Stevens. The bitch from Faking It. Is she shitting me? Before she left, I swung the door open and glared at Ms. Butt-Ugly-Bitch.
"Oh, I didn't know your ex-wife was here, Shea." She snickered.
"And whore- who are you?" I scoffed.
She smiled innocently. "Katherine Mari Stevens. You can call me Katie." She extended her hand as if waiting for me to shake it.
I looked at her hand disgustedly. Who knows what she touched? Maybe cow's shit. Or some magic love potion that made Shea like her.
"My hand is too delicate. It might get cut by your callouses." I rolled my eyes.
I expected her to attack me and start a scene but she just ignored my remark and looked at Shea lovingly. Shea took her hand and kissed it. What? My jaw dropped and I glared at them. Seriously? In front of me? They act like some lovesick teenage couple that just got together. Ew.
But somehow, somewhere deep in my heart, I know I should be the one that Shea looks at like that. I was just too stupid to appreciate my now ex-wife.
"Bye, Miss Moore. Say good night to Avery and Ashley for me." Bitchface winked.
Shea nodded and waved one last time. Bitchface left and Shea glared at me once her car was out of sight. She grunted as she pushed past me to get through the door and plopped on the couch I slept in. "Well? Aren't you going to leave?" She snickered.
I cleared my throat. "It's one in the morning. You expect me to drive home at this hour? What kind of person are you?"
I knew I said the wrong thing when she stood up from her position and crossed her arms. "What kind of person am I? What kind of person are you? You have no right to crash in my house. You have no right to my kids, but I let them give you a chance. And don't get me started on the 'we're friends and I'm helping you' shit because we're certainly not. You're not friends with the girls and you're not friends with the kids! As far as I'm concerned, they're disgusted by you. I'm-!"
I shut her up by kissing her hard and rough. Standing on my toes ad I did. At first she hesitated but I felt her slender arms wrap my waist slowly and cautiously as if she was in a dream and she was afraid if she made a wrong move, she would wake up and I would be gone. My shaking hands found it's way to her brown curls and I tugged on them, sending her the message "I want more". She pushed me to the couch and straddled me, unbuttoning my flannel. She put her hands under my bra and pinched my nipples, causing me to moan out loud.
She groped and squeezed my breasts as my lips went to her neck, sucking and licking until I was satisfied and assured she was mine again. I was about to unbutton her jeans when she froze. "Stop." She whispered firmly. "You can't do this to me. I had enough."
She stood up from her position and raked a hand through her soft brown curls. She was nervous and angry and undecided, causing her to drown in her confusion and march back and forth. I slowly rose from the couch and fixed my flannel, scratching the back of my neck in shock and fear. Fear she would reject me again. She slowly faced me and stared into my eyes, her brown ones boring into mine with a thousand accusations.
"What are you trying to do, Sasha? Why are you hurting me? I'm trying to move on and you come crashing back in my head, forcing me to run back to you so you can manipulate me all over again. Aren't you happy that I don't sleep anymore? Aren't you happy that your kids are depressed? Don't do this to us. Just stop. Y-you ca-can't do t-this anymore." At this point she was sobbing hard and she was having trouble breathing.
I shook my head. "No. This is real. Please, I still love you. I still love our kids. I'll break up with John. Let's fix our marriage." I cupped her face with my hands and used my thumbs to wipe her tears. "Please."
She looked up at me again. "I'm not in love with you anymore, Sasha. I hate you." She spat with venom.
My hands quickly left her face and froze mid-air. My eyes gushed tears out. It was like there was no more air in the world and I gasped and choked, trying to get myself to breathe again. I grabbed my jacket and ran out of what used to be our house, not bothering to put on my shoes. When I reached a small store in the subdivision, I stopped running and just walked. Giving me the peace to think about what just happened. To take it all in.
What have I done? I ruined my life. I found my true love and soulmate but I let her go just to experience something new. You really can't blame me for feeling that way, I never really had the chance to experiment. I got together with Shea since I was seventeen and I haven't dated anyone before her.
A Range Rover eased it's way beside me and drove slowly. But I was too knocked off my consciousness to pay it any attention. I kept walking, not minding it until a pair of small arms wrapped my waist. My heart skipped a beat and my eyes teared up as I realized that who this kid is.
"I love you. I want you back. I forgive you, Mommy." He sobbed.
I turned to face him and knelt in front of him. I brushed a curl of brown hair from his face and kissed his forehead. "I'm so sorry, Avery. I'll make it up to you. But I need to go home for now."
He hugged me and nodded. "Mom'll take you home. I love you, Mommy. I know we'll be back to normal. I know it. Mom and Ashley just need time. But you have to break up with him, Mommy."
I smiled through tears and nodded. "I will honey. I'll fix my mess."
He took my hand and I stood up. He opened the door to the backseat and he sat down, putting his head on my shoulder as Shea stared at me through the mirror. She drove and I dozed off, forgetting all my problems for a while.
***
I couldn't breathe or talk. I was in the same position I was years ago. I stood dumb-founded in front of him, holding a box with a ring. I closed my eyes in frustration. A few tears managed to escape.
Shea hated me. Marrying him will make no difference. Ashley is still mad at me and even though Avery forgave me, it won't make much of a difference. They weren't my family still. They were the remains of what used to be my family. They were just shells. And it was because of me.
If I marry him and stop bugging Shea, she'll move on and she'll find a better mother for the twins. They'll eventually forget me and that's exactly what I wanted right now. For them to move on.
Ignoring my heart's protests, I nodded my head and smiled at him, making him grin and stand up, slipping the ring into my finger that once held Shea's promises. "I love you, Sasha. You won't regret this."
But deep in my heart, I already did.
He held my hand and kissed me passionately, and I tried to kiss him back without gagging. I took in a sharp breath as he pulled away, taking it all in. I restrained the tears threatening to spill from my eyes and let out the breath I was holding.
___
"What do you think?" I asked Shea as she looked at my ideas for a yoghurt shop.
"I think it's great. You should do it. This is gonna be big! You'll do amazing, Sash." She giggled and pecked my lips.
"I think I should attend a seminar though, I barely know anything about managing a business." I pouted.
"I'll go look for something online. But trust me, you'll be great."
The first day of the seminar came and I was sitting in a class with a guy next to me. He cleared his throat and I looked up at him. He was really tall and handsome but I already have Shea so...meh.
He held out his hand confidently. "John Samuels, nice to meet you."
I smiled. "Sasha Moore." I shook his hand.
He must've felt the rings on my finger because he looked down at them. "You're married?" He asked, raising his eyebrows.
"Yeah, six years. We have twins." I beamed.
He nodded. "He's a lucky guy."
"Girl. And I'm the lucky one."
He chuckled. "Well that's easy." He mumbled under his breath but I still heard him.
"Excuse me?"
"Nothing." He smirked.
___