Another day came and for the past three days, I kept coming and bothering him every time I had a chance to sneak in.
"Hello!" I shouted enthusiastically.
I giggled seeing him startled. The Nurse who's feeding him shook his head, well, he's getting into it, I always do that every time on his shift.
"Get out, you chicken mouth!"
"Bye, Oldie!" I chuckled and went back to my room.
That's the scene when I always sneak into his room, well, mostly after I had my treatment and whatever test they're conducting on me, that's what I always do, and there's nothing new rather than 'bothering'. Winks.
It's already dinner. I'm facing my food but I feel too lonely because after my mom gave me this food, she already left without even having a little conversation with me. I sighed.
When do I have my chance to have dinner with them? For a decade and two living here in this hospital, I never got a chance to have my dinner with anyone, yes! Anyone, my family or even my nurse, well they're all busy therefore I should understand them but, I can't reject the fact that I'm seeking some attention, especially from my parents.
Sometimes, I have realized when I grow up from time to time and I always have in my mind what-ifs on my mind that I keep refusing to remember because I don't want to drown myself with anxiety, is it normal? As a teenager who's having fun by herself, it's hard to tell what I feel since I avoid the society where you always observe different kinds of people that sometimes you might compare to yourself if you're doing it like them too, I didn't live in that environment. But I wish that I had lived into one or I hope that there's someone that will come into my life and introduce those things to me that made me know myself more.
I want to know myself because living here all alone, sometimes you forget how you are because you want to maintain that happiness even though happiness always comes to yourself. But sometimes, I forget if I'm happy or if I'm just making myself believe that I'm happy.
Honestly, when you live all alone and not getting any full attention, you always think that you should be happy for you not to feel alone, that's what I always do. When I feel alone, I always find things that can make me happy but sometimes that happiness can make you realize that once you're growing up it's hard to maintain that happiness within yourself.
But sometimes, I can't do anything but drown myself in this loneliness, but after drowning I always find a way to rose. Well, that's how my life rotates too. Forgetting the loneliness for myself not to kill me with anxiety. I can even call myself a dolphin, well, a dolphin finds a way to breathe so he rises from the water, and just like me, even though I'm drowning in thoughts I always find a way to raise myself from that loneliness.
I sighed and stood up. I carried my tray full of food and walked towards his room. I just wonder if he's alone or his nurse is there feeding him or what.
"Hello, good evening." I greeted the nurse who's cleaning the table and I closed the door.
"What are you doing here?" The old blind man asked me. It's a miracle that he didn't shout. Maybe, he's too tired from shouting because every time I'm sneaking, he looks like a furiousterical old dragon who's ready to spit a fire at me but how unfortunate of him he can't be a dragon. Well, I guess this is my sixth day of gaining his trust but there's no progress, poor me.
The nurse waved at me and went out.
"I'm alone in my room, so can I eat here?" I asked. The other nurse gave me a nod and pointed at Kaios before going out.
"No." He replied. I just noticed that he eats on a tube on his nose, poor him, I can't give him a chicken.
I smiled. "Okay! Thank you, I'll eat here!" I said and seated on the sofa, I dragged his table with wheels and placed it in front of me.
He sighed frustratedly.
"You want Jollibee?" I asked him. The nurse peeked inside and told me he'll come back to clean my mess since I eat too slow.
"No, I want you to"
"Be friends with me?! Aww! You're so sweet!" I cut his words despite knowing that, that wasn't what he meant.
"To get the fuck out of my sight!" He affirmed.
I frowned and rolled my eyes. He's getting back to being a grumpy old devil.
"You can't see anything." I corrected him. I smirked; I love seeing him getting annoyed.
"Fuck it! Just go out!"
"Let me finish my food," I said to him. I'm even confused after a tear fell in my eye. ", at least here, even though you don't want me I have a comrade to take my dinner with." A sudden smile formed on my lips.
"And why do you need someone to be with you while you eat, huh?" I took a glimpse of him, I saw his right brow rise, he looks like a mad bitch with a Prada bag and Gucci shoes.
"Well, I'm living in this hospital when I was 5 years old. Before I had my assistant who's always with me and then my parents wanted me to stand on my own so I agreed about eating alone." I replied. "At first it was okay but then, I felt so lonely," I explained.
He didn't respond so I continued to eat but a way faster since Nurse Kim will come here after an hour, well Kaios is her patient.
"Thank you." I stood up and threw my garbage away. "I'll go now."
"You should, my room smells like a red bee. Don't you ever come again?" He said boredly.
"You're not sure. I'll come back tomorrow to bother you." I said to him,
"Tsk." He hissed.
I giggled. "Bye, Mister Oldie!"
I came back to my room and immediately sat down at my desk. I grabbed my notebook and pen and started to write with a smile.
Kaios 101
February 21, 2021
Hello, diary! In the past notes that I write, I always wrote how he's irritated at me but now it's different. A difference with a miracle since he asked me "why?"
My feeling close self has made progress, how I wish I'll have a long conversation with him soon. I'm excited to know a lot about him.
Yours truly,
-RC
It's still early but I'm already awake since I would like to see the sunrise. So here am I, wearing my hoodie, and went out from my room dragging my dextrose until I reached the elevator.
I entered and pressed the button for the rooftop. My Nurses will never find out that I run out from my room just to see the sunrise, well, they always come when the clock strikes early seven in the morning, I still have an hour and thirty minutes.
It took me a couple of moments to reach the rooftop. I went out of the elevator. I yawned and walked towards the door.
Well, before you reached the rooftop, there's still a long hallway. If I'm not mistaken, this is the place where some Doctors rest.
My eyes widened after realizing that I might have encountered my parents or even my other doctor.
"Reina?"
I'm about to rush into the door when I heard my father's voice.
I turned around awkwardly and smiled. "D-dad."
"Where are you going? it's early." he looked at his wrist where his watch is placed.
I scratched my head not being able to talk.
"Reina, I won't forbid you. Just tell me, therefore, I would know where can I find you if you're gone for too long," he explained and sighed.
My heart suddenly fluttered. "J-just on the r-ro-rooftop. Eyeing a sunrise." I smiled.
My father nodded. "Alright. Just be safe. I'll check if you're staying there for too long." he said.
I nodded. "Okay. Thanks, dad."
Daddy smiled. "I'll go now. Just enjoy yourself eyeing the sunrise, hun."
I gave my father a thumbs up and winked before I walked away.
I entered the rooftop and a sudden smile formed on my lips.
For sure, I'll enjoy myself alone with the sunrise but sure, one day, I'll come here with Kaios the old mad grumpy dragon. I'll talk to him about how he looks like a grandpa every time he's angry.
I made myself comfortable sitting on the rooftop's floor without even thinking how dusty and full of little rock it was.
It's a little bit foggy outside but it's enough for me to feel how warming it is.
Waiting prevails how you gain ascendancy to appreciate the word 'wait' because when you wait with patience, you never know how beautiful things will appear in the blink of an eye just like now.
The sky is orange, like embers of the fire. It reflected on the beautiful city of Manila. It was indeed pleasant.
The beauty of the sunrise keeps my heart warm. Nature unfolds her treasure at the first ray of sunrise and I'm kinda lucky and happy seeing it with my naked eye. This sunrise became my invitation to arise and brighten someone's day like what I'll do to Kaios later so I hope he won't get mad, I just want to talk to him about some things even though he won't give me any attention.
How I wish this sunrise create miracles for me.
A smile never leaves my lips. I hope Kaios can see this... I mean, I wanted him to see a sunrise and be immersed in the beauty that it wields with the miracle of it by showing up.
But, I know he can't do that so I'll describe it to him.
I stood up and hugged myself after I felt the coldness that sunrise leave. I don't have different agenda in here rather than seeing the sunrise so I went back and headed towards my father's lounge.
I opened the door and saw him sitting on the sofa watching his favorite series which is 'Money Heist'.
I knocked on his door.
He looked at me. "Oh, Reina? Come here."
I immediately entered and didn't bother to close the door since I know that he'll talk to me for a second.
"I'll talk to you. Close the door." He said.
I almost frown because I was wrong for assuming that it will be a short talk or even ask me if how was I.
I marched towards the door and shut it. I went back to Dad and seated in front of him.
"Where's mom?"
"She still have rounds so she's not here."
"What are we gonna talk about, Dad?" I asked and make myself comfortable on the sofa.
"Do you like Kaios from the other room?"
I was caught off guard by his question. Dad is too straightforward when he asked that...but, on how I've heard it, I guess it was not a question because he speaks. Is dad suspecting me of liking Kaios?!
Dad is staring at me intimately as if he examines how would I react so I didn't give him anything, I just stayed natural even though my palm is sweating without me knowing why the hell I became so nervous.
"W-why do a-ask, dad?" I stuttered out of nervousness that slowly losing my cool.
"And why do you look so nervous, Reina?" he asked as a teasing smile appeared on his lips.
"Daddy!" I hissed. "Don't tease me with a smile. I don't like him! and I will never like that old grumpy dragon! Never!"
"You look so defensive." He said and grab his rubber ball. "I look like that when my father questioned me if I like your mom."
"What?!" My eyes grew bigger. "Are you suspecting me for liking a man even though I don't like him?!'
"Yeah." Dad was serious when he said that. I sneered not being able to process what is happening right now.
"How can you say that?"
"It's always seen by a Father if his daughter likes anyone."
"What?! I don't like him!" I don't like him but I sounded too defensive. Maybe, I should shut my mouth for my dad not to suspect me about me like an old grumpy dragon.
"You're always sneaking just to get into his room and always bother him." He said. I sulked. "With that tactics, It's really easy to tell that you like him."
"What?! Hell No!" I said. "Daddy, pray to God. Don't let Satan eat you."
My daddy bursts into waves of laughter.
"Daddy! Hear me out!"
He chuckled. "Alright. Defend yourself, dear. Even though it's obvious."
I frowned.
"First of first!" I affirmed and flipped my hair.
"Alright, what's that first?" He keeps chuckling.
"I only want him as my friend and the reason is..." My dad raised his brow. "I'm too bored and wanted to have a friend to spend my hours with. Besides, it shouldn't be concluded in the liking that you're pointing out because, in the first place, I only see him as a friend and nothing more than that." I explained. I almost took a grip on my hair out of desperation because dad really can't believe it, he's composing himself not to laugh while I'm explaining.
"Dad! Don't laugh! It's true!" I affirmed. "You're bullying me. I'm serious." I pouted.
Dad chuckled. "Okay, serious."
I scowled.
"Reina, I know you're a big girl therefore you won't tell daddy anything about a guy, right?" he smiled.
I smirked. "I'm a big girl but that doesn't mean that I'm going to make your suspicion real. I can be a big girl without a boy."
"Haist... How I wish you'll fall in love therefore I'll have another boy." He said casually.
I really can't compose myself not to show any frustrations but dad just laughed at me like he's having fun seeing me buying his teasing.
"Daddy, I'm not open about liking a man," I said calmly. Until I grew my eyes big and pursed my lips. "So don't ever imagine that you're going to have another boy!" I affirmed.
"Whatever you say, Queen of Constellation." He chuckled. "I'll bring you back to your room or do you want me to bring you to HIS room."
I frowned.
Dad likes to bully me on his rest day. But, honestly, I appreciate that Dad is giving me time despite being busy.
"In my room. I'll go to him later to bother him." I had an evil smile.
But it was gone after hearing dad's chortle.
"Got you!" He winked. "You like Kaios! My baby is now growing up! I'll become a grandfather soon."
"What?! Dad! Pray to God! You're insane!" I affirmed. "They might hear you saying nonsense!"
Dad laughed and stood up, so as I.
"Just kidding. I won't let that man produced a little RC. You're still my baby." Daddy hugged me and kissed my cheeks.
"Dad, I had goosebumps when you said a kid from that man. You better go to Church or see a psychiatrist."
Dad ruffled my hair and chuckled.
"Let's eat breakfast together." He said.
I looked at him in shock. "Really?!"
He smiled. "Yeah. The last time I got a chance to eat with you...well, you're six that time."
"Oh my God! Let's go!"
Dad chuckled.
Indeed the sunrise is a miracle.