This is the time that I literally kneel down and prayed out of happiness because my brother didn't arrive yet, well, it's been a month and I feel so good but I guess not too much because they prohibited me to go to the old grumpy dragon's room.
"What happened to him?" I asked Nurse Kim who entered with Nurse Mia.
Nurse Kim scoffed. The way she looked at me...full of boasting. She even have that insulting shadow behind her smile.
"A thing you shouldn't have known," she smiled full of plasticity. ",cause in the first place, you shouldn't give any attention to Kaios. Just rest."
Her voice were okay but when you stared at her while she's talking, I kinda feel how irritated she is. I think, there's something she hated me about and I don't know what was it.
She really have that attitude but when she's in front of Kaios... taking care of him. She looks like a saint for having that good attitude but when it comes to me, she's being rude but in a way that no one would notice.
Nurse Mia nodded. "Yeah, you need to rest, RC. It's just a day you got out from ICU. Your parents won't like if you're going back again."
I moved my head slowly to let them know that I understand the situation.
Nana Mia give me food. And after that, both of them went out but Nurse Kim even leave me with a look of threat.
That Nurse is really rude. I wonder where did she get those.
I'm occupied with thoughts. To unleash those, I played a music from my phone after I connect it to my pikachu speaker.
I couldn't sleep even though I want too. How I wish, I can get rid of this stupid thoughts about my brother.
Honestly, when he arrive, I'll questioned him and I will let him feel how I hated him because of years I longed for a love from a brother, he will show up where I couldn't know if I will be able to live longer with him.
But, what if, it will not be the same as I think?
What if, he would let me feel the hate even though I wanted him to feel those coming from me?
I'm frightened about it!
I swear to God, once he will let me feel those, I swear, I'm gonna cry.
"Ugh!" I irritably groaned.
Hours had passed but I look like a fool staring at the surface without even moving on my place.
When I take my lunch, I'm too occupied with the same thoughts. They keep playing with my mind all over again as If my mind wasa playground.
It's killing me! but how the hell I couldn't stop thinking about those if in the first place, I'm the one who think about those and even planned to hate him but now that's it haunts me, it's hard to get rid of it.
I played with the muffin in front of me. I asked my Nurse about this and they didn't hesitated to grab me some but here am I, not even eating it...not even smelling it. I just keeping myself played the muffin...now it looks like shit but it lifts up my spirit after I saw chocolate dripping down from inside the muffin.
I don't want to waste their hardwork from giving this to me so, I taste it and it's too good. I have three and now that I have tasted it, I couldn't stop anymore from not eating it.
It keeps me busy and I suddenly run away from thoughts but after I finished my food and chugged a water. They're back again.
I sighed.
I hop down from my bed. I grab my dextrose and dragged it with me.
I have the best place in my room and that is the cube window I have. It's still covered with curtains so I get rid of it.
The afternoon sun hit my face but it's not hurtful just like the morning sun.
I guess that sun in the afternoon gives you comfort.
I stayed there, staring blankly in the city of Manila. A busy streets with full of kids and other adults selling their sampaguitas. A sidewalk where I saw a couple fighting. A bike lane, a sudden smile appeared on my lips after seeing a group of teens biking. A street vendor selling streetfoods. And, a road filled with cars who's stuck in a traffic.
Well, that's Manila.
I know that everyone thinks that Philippines is kinda worst country but you can gulp everything you have said.
Philippines have 7,707 Islands, some are isolated and restricted but some are screaming in epitome beauty. We don't only own beaches but we own, waterfalls, natural jacuzzi, pool rocks and many more.
Well, before you judge something, better to seek information therefore you can see it's beauty.
I sighed.
I tried to get rid of those thoughts from my brother by introducing how beautiful Philippines is...but, after that.
It came back again like it was supposed to drown me.
I don't want to drown myself from those but I couldn't help it.
I took a breath until all the air reached my lungs.
Hot tears threatened to flow from my eye.
It's hurting me and I don't know the reason.
But maybe,
Even though I hated my brother from not standing by my side for too long... I'm still longing for him.
When he arrived, I badly wanted to give him a hug but for sure, he'll be mad, because at first, he hated me as his lite sister.
Since, I was a baby, he hated me a lot.
If I had a time machine, I would change everything to what I want therefore, I'll have him and we live together.
I didn't noticed that I stayed in front of the cube window til the sunset and dawn.
The stars align again as the moon shines brighter, it was a crest.
By looking at them, I feel like they're smiling at me as if they're telling me everything will be fine.
Taking a deep breath couldn't give me ease. Sure before I'm still happy about him not arriving yet but now, all my colors crawled away and leave me pale.
The door opened.
I could hear the loud beat of my heart. And when I turn around, I gasp.
A man with a blue colored eyes just like mine entered with a stern expression. He's wearing a blue v-neck shirt tucked in a trousers paired with loafers.
It's my brother.
I gulped seeing his eyes laid on mine. He sarcastically scoffed and shook his head as if he's amused with what he's seeing or it's just, he wanted to be sarcastic.
Dad and Mom showed up, both of them are smiling but I just noticed that they're having a little distance with each other...or am I just too assuming and assumed unecessary?
"RC, greet your brother." Dad urged and smiled.
I covered the cube window and walked towards them. I stopped not to far away.
"W... welcome b-back."
I look so awkward but honestly, I'm happy to see him. So this is my brother huh? He also have blue eyes, we are really a Harris.
He scoffed.
Mom pushed him. "Go and hug her."
"No."
"Rain." With one threat. My brother marched towards me.
"You look so ugly." He said.
I glared at him but he just rolled his eyes and pulled me for a hug.
I tapped his back. A sudden smile formed on my lips after I felt how tight he's hugging me right now.
"You smelled like hospital." He let go of me and gave me a look of teasing but insult.
The way he insulted me that I smelled like hospital is too irritating. As if he's not a doctor and don't smell like one.
I hate him now. He's really don't want a good relationship with me. He don't like me...he hate me.
"Alright, it's nice to see you both. Go and talk with each other. Dad and I will have our rounds in here." Mom said. My brother nodded.
"Someone will bring your dinner." Dad said before they leave.
I didn't talked to him. I just dragged my dextrose and hop on my bed. He went on one of the sofa.
He removed his shoes and placed himself comfortably.
I stared at him with eyebrows furrowed and pouting lips.
"If you're expecting that I would like you, just expect, it will never happened." He said.
My tears pooled in my eye. I look above to stop it from falling.
I shouldn't be affected. Cause in the first place, he should regret about not taking care of me and not treating me as his sister.
Brother and sister should treat each other with love but how come he treated me with hate and I treated him as if I acted like I don't care.
I act like i don't care about him but it's hurting me knowing he will never accept me as his sister.
He noticed my stares on him.
He give me back a look but I stiffened and give him a look of madness. I don't want him here. If he's here, sure I'll never do things on my own or even escape my room just to roam around.
"I'll be strict on you. Mom always talk to me about how you always play badgirl in this hospital." he said without even giving me care.
He bring his back his eyes on the phone he's playing before.
"Stupid brother." I murmured.
He look back at me, glaring. "What did you said?"
I softened my expression because I don't want this to end in quarrel.
"I saw okay fine, do whatever you wanna do."
He scoffed and rolled his eyes.
The way he do that... it's really getting on my nerves.
If he don't want this, he better leave! I don't want him around giving me a bad attitude and giving me hate through his moves.
"Why do you come home?" I couldn't help it anymore. I asked him that and maybe after that I'll tell him to go back to his country for the both of us to be free.
"Why do you ask?" he raised a brow. "Is this yours?"
"I'm asking you in a good way. Why do you look so mad?" I smirk.
"I don't want you to question me anything." He sighed violently. "If they didn't forced me, I'm not here."
How dare he is. He thinks I like it too?! then he's wrong! I want him to get out of my sight and go back to California because he's like that! he leave me, therefore I won't be affected if he' will do the same thing again.
"You're a rebellious, why did you follow them?"
The side of his lips rose. "Oh, what a word. Rebellious huh? Who is this patient whose keeping everyone worried because of her naughtiness?" He chuckled as an insult.
"Why do you mind about it, as if-"
"You're still a brat." he cut me off. "You're not even thinking straight. Well, how come you can think straight where in the first place... you've gotten all that attention and being pampered with anything."
"Why don't we exchanged places?" I asked. If he's in my place, he will understand what I feel.
That's how people do, if they're not in your shoes, they will never understand how you doing or how you feel.
"I'm not a pain in the ass like you." He yawned as if he's bored talking to me.
"Cause you're just a family's lawbreaker, aren't you?" I smiled. I couldn't pull any words. Maybe, I'm really a rebellious here but I just can't accept it because of the pride.
"To break your imagination, you're the lawbreaker in here. Good thing, Mom and Dad can still manage to compose themselves not to talk to you harshly."
"We--"
"Well, you have that illness. You can't be triggered or else you die." He cut me off again.
"Mom, must got you from hell. No wonder you have that attitude." I will never lose in this argumentation even though I'm nearing defeat.
"So as you, you can even change seats with Satan." He licked his lips.
"..."
I became silent.
I just gave him a look where a raging fire is fuming in my eye. Not to boast an anger but stopping a pool of tears to explode.
"Don't you ever talk back to me. I'm still older than you." He said strictly.
"I don't care." I rolled my eyes.
"Follow everything I said cause I'll replace dad to lessen their problems. Cause that problem is you."
"I'm not the problem in here!" I affirmed.
I will never follow this dickhead. Even though I'll die, I swear, I'll never follow him.
"You are, if you're not in this hospital. Dad and Mom have the most beautiful life they have...not pampering a badgirl like you who only knows how to get everything she wanted without even crying or begging."
"I hate you." I pouted.
"As well as I."