"I did ask for an 'imouto' impression but I didn't expect you to send me an 'imouto' licking and sucking ASMR."
"But did you enjoy it?"
"Honestly, I'm hard."
"Don't be hard."
With that usual exchange, we were both sharing laughter on the phone.
Eventually, our meetings got more frequent and we ended up sharing a lot more interests with each other. While I focused my conversations on my kinks and fetishes in anime, Sae focused on reenacting them. Those were clearly conversations not usually shared among friends but I was glad I could share them with her openly.
Sae turned out to be rather informative with these dirty talks. According to her, she was surrounded by boys with such minds during her high school. She wasn't a fan of those boys during those times but it seemed she was just willing to share them with me.
For example, when I told her about 'imouto' characters in anime and how I really like to have a sibling just like them, she then told me that she would send me a voice message of her little sister impression to use for my ringtone. Of course for a disgusting weeb like me, I was on board.
What caught me by surprise of course wasn't that she had sent me a 10-second short message of her impression. What I received was a 2-minute long lollipop licking and sucking ASMR. In her voice message were moanings, blowing sounds, numbers of 'onii-chan' phrases and kissing sounds.
I was dumbfounded by her actions to go the extra mile to entertain me. I literally had a mini heart attack as I listened to them with my cheap earphones. And as I listened to them, I ended up developing an ASMR fetish...
However, for my own safety, I decided not to let her know about it any time soon.
I also learned that Sae would let her guard down with me. She was the type of person to act professionally among her peers and was always dressed for the occasion. She was also very sensitive with the way boys looked at her. And as soon as someone decided to scan her body, she wouldn't hesitate to let her 'taekwando' training to the talking.
However, I noticed whenever she was around me, she wouldn't try to keep up an appearance. It's not to say she would drop her guard and wear skimpy outfits. She would just wear a simple shirt or blouse along with a pair of short pants that might as well just been a pair of oversized panties as they weren't covering anything else but her pelvis area.
Whenever we hung out alone, she would not pay any attention to our physical contacts. Not in the way that she would ignore me but whenever she wanted to show me something or tell me a dirty joke, she would cling to my arm and press her chest against my shoulder. It was really hard to keep my 'little brother' calm during those moments so I prayed all day to make sure she doesn't notice them.
As I tried my best to divert my eyes away from her female parts, I hope her eyes didn't catch a glance of my male parts.
Through our excessive contact, I quickly learned she can be a clingy person. During our day out around the park or the movies together, she always made sure to stay as close to me as possible. There were even times where she would hold on to my arm but we brushed it off as a joke as we both were very familiar with anime troupes between childhood friends.
Of course, through those constant physical contacts, we also grew closer in person. The once calm, gentle, wife-like Sae Taniguchi had sides of her that made her less of a perfect person. She would sometimes make conversation that was very hard to follow. Like how she would randomly talk about her dog destroyed his toys or about how her friends from middle school did stupid dares during camps. There were all over the place and I didn't really know how to react to them other than giving her half-hearted replies.
Well, she was willing to listen to my worries and fetishes so I guess the best I can do was to lend her my ears.
"I thought I could get a funny reaction from you so I just did it on a whim. But, I guess your reaction was to be expected."
"Well, I'm sorry for not giving you the reaction you wanted."
"Entertain me, boy!"
"Yosh! I'm going to fap to your voice! LET'S GOOOOOO!"
"DON'T FAP TO MY VOICE!"
With that casual exchange between us, we were laughing once again. I then changed the topic before I revealed too much of my horny side to my childhood friend.
"Oh yeah, how are things with Gin and the others? It looked like things were going pretty well."
"Yeah. Things are fine. Gin and I had a lot in common about musical tastes and he seemed to be very knowledgeable about it… Though he and Kirumi are…"
"They're just friends. I think. Don't think too much about it."
"I see. And well I guess it was nice to know Junpei again. Shidoni was also a very interesting character. I feel like she and I can be great friends. As for Ryouta, I really liked the way he talks and I was able to catch up with his antics."
"I hardly see Ryouta talk that much in our group chats. It's even harder to see him talk normally. Though, it's good to know that everyone can click with you."
"Overall, they are nice people. You have nice friends."
"Thank you," I said as I walked around my room in circles. "They are nice friends…"
I never really sat down and thought about them. Hearing how Sae described her relationship with them reminded me that I was surrounded by nice people. I couldn't help but feel like I don't really deserve to be around them.
It brought out a few of my insecurities. I was never too keen on making friends as I never had much luck keeping them for any longer than a year. However, they were willing to stick by me even after we had all graduated. We made fun memories and I was glad I could still keep in contact with them.
I may have created the social group chat but it was their chemistry that kept it going. I was just the one who pushed the buttons while they were the ones maintaining the factory. If it weren't for them, I wouldn't be where I was.
They made me feel blessed. However, I felt useless as I was only enjoying the moment. As someone as useless as me, I could only hope that one day I could return the favour.
There was a short pause before Sae asked me another question.
"Say, Nobuo. When are you planning to come over for lunch again? There is this dish I thought about doing for a while now and I would like your opinion on it."
"Is that so. Yeah, I don't mind coming over. I'm always eager to try your cooking."
"That's nice to hear. Hehe~"
"Why? Do you perhaps miss me?"
"I don't know~"
It was at this point I had realized that it was too much. I was aware of Sae's advancements and how she was trying really hard to get close to me. The way she acted around me was so different compared to how she treated her other friends. So much so that even I couldn't keep up with my dumb acting.
I was feigning ignorance and acted densely. I had once made the mistake where I thought a girl was in love with me. In the end, when I confronted her, she was saying that I misunderstood her actions and that she was just being nice to the people around her. And sadly I had yet to learn my lesson as I had fallen for the same trap multiple times in my teens.
I decided that I would keep the feelings to myself until someone outright told me they like me. That way I don't need to read their hints to force me to make my own decisions. If there was something you want to say, just say it and not show it indirectly through hints. Eventually, I find people who do such things as annoying people.
I did the same for Sae as I thought she was just being playful and treated me as a brother. So, I decided to play along despite her dropping very obvious hints. That changed when I realize that we had reached the point where I would consider the things we do were things people as friends just wouldn't do. I was willing to let it go on because I don't want to come out and say it. I don't want it to lead to a misunderstanding and make things awkward between us.
However, Sae was my childhood friend. There shouldn't be anything that could make things awkward between us. We knew each other for years and we have talked about almost anything. I soon understood that I can share my worries with her.
"Sae, can I ask you something. Please don't take this the wrong way."
"What is it?" Sae asked calmly.
So, I took the bait and asked her about my worry.
"Do you like me?"
There was a long pause after I finished saying those four words. It would seem that she had to actually ponder on those words. I was glad that she didn't outright deny it, that meant that my guess was on the mark to a certain degree.
However, she didn't outright agree to the statement either. She still had to think about it. That meant, to me at least, that she was still thinking about whether she actually had feelings for me or not.
And as soon as I started to worry about the phone bill that my parents had to pay for, Sae answered with a rather lengthy reply.
"I'm honestly not sure. I don't know if the feelings for you is really it or not. But I can confirm that you are someone I can comfortably talk to and I want to keep this going. If what I said meant I was in love, then I guess I am in love. But I also knew you broke up for quite a while now and I didn't want to take advantage of it. So, I guess I just wanted to cheer you up in my very own way. Things that only I can do for you."
"I see."
Both my mind and the words transmitted to me were in sync. I knew those words were coming.
I didn't want her to feel too awkward so I replied to her with the best excuse I can come up with.
"I think it's best we don't talk about this on the phone. If it's about dating and stuff, I'm still not entirely over my ex. I also don't want to end up using you as a replacement for her."
"I guess that made sense… It's okay, Nobuo. Don't think too much about it…"
"No, it's fine. Let's talk about this the next time we meet. I'll let you know the next time I'm free to head over. Until then, let me confirm my feelings."
"Okay..." Through the call, I can assume she said it calmly.
"Then, I'll see you soon, I guess."
"Mm-hmm…"
With that, I ended the call. I then immediately jumped for joy.
"She's totally in love with me! I can feel it!"
I screamed in my head as I did as many victory-poses as I possibly could. I was so glad that for once, I was being loved instead of the other way around.
I was trying so hard to act cool in front of Sae that I was actually lying about not getting over my ex. I had actually long forgotten about her but I didn't dare tell Sae about how I truly felt. It felt wrong for me to tell her to just date me over the phone. If there was anything to talk about, we should do it face to face.
So, the Nobuo who was one month away from turning 19 at that time decided to message his childhood friend who just recently turn 19 one month ago. I was about to message her our next meeting.
I was prepared to jump on the next boat immediately after getting the opportunity.
I was prepared to jump on the next girl immediately after learning she was in love with me.
I wasn't sure if I was in love with her.
But I was sure I was lusting for her.