"Sae! Sae! God damn it. Answer me! Sae!"
I screamed as I shook the front gate. The weather was intense as the sun blazed across the tar road. I was sweating from the heat of the sun and from the direness of the situation. Along with Mirai's unnerving barks, I was pumping in fear.
Sae was the only block in the area. She had no neighbours and the guards guarding the area were too far away for me to leave by her house. The sounds of my scream and the knocking sounds of the metal gate wouldn't be in range to alert anyone. I knew I was on my own.
Knowing Sae didn't respond to me whatsoever, I took a few steps back from her house. After assuring myself that I wouldn't be hit by a random ghost truck, I readied myself to prepare a leap over her towering gate.
Upon reaching a right sprinting distance, I quickly ran towards the gate and parkoured over it. Thankfully for my height, I managed to jump over the gate with no issue. But the real challenge started after that.
I checked her doormat and realized her spare key wasn't there. Her windows were shut tight too. Mirai got even more nerve-wracking as soon as he saw me while he constantly crawled over the windows. I knocked on her door and called out to Sae once again.
"Sae! Sae! I'm here! Sae!"
There was still no response. I then peeked through the window again and checked if the windows were thick or not. I quickly realized that they were relatively thin and that because it was a wall-sized window, I knew for a fact if I would break it down, I could walk through it with ease.
However, a part of me didn't dare to break down the window. I was still a student and I couldn't afford to pay for the repairs. Eventually, I would have to get my parents involved and I would have to apologize to Sae's mother. I was hesitant but let that thought slipped out of my mind. As of that moment, my childhood friend's life was more important than my own self-being.
As I was about to take a few steps back, preparing to knock the window down, I noticed a person's silhouette was formed through the black smoke. The silhouette slowly got more refined as it came out of the kitchen. It didn't take me a second to realize that it was Sae.
However, she was in a state that I did not what to see her be in.
Sae was in a mess as her usual well-kept hair was all over her head. Her eyes were bawling in tears as she sniffed her running nose. She was crawling on the floor with only her hands. As she slowly got into my full vision. I realized that her thighs were swollen red with burn patches. She was clearly injured from whatever was going on in the kitchen.
She was crawling towards the door. She was forcing herself to keep to her door despite the pain she was in. I who stood outside her house could only watch her suffer.
"Sae!"
I screamed as I quickly turned away from the sight of her tortured look. I couldn't bring myself to look at the state she was in. The sight of her suffered face made me want to knock the window down and stop her from moving any further. But seeing how she was so determined to open the door for me, I was in no position to render her effort useless. I who was shielded by the door to the house could only pray she had the strength to open the door.
Sae had always been the type to fight her own battles. Even if she never won them all, she had at least endured them all. As I waited impatiently behind her door, I could only wish that that would be the last time she fought her battles alone.
As I was about to start tearing, the sound of her unlocked door immediately rang into my ears. The door slowly opened and Mirai quickly ran out of the door and threw his body against my legs. I ignored him as I finally come face to face with Sae.
Sae was crying in pain as her face was filled with tears. Her arms were wrapped around her waist as she grasped tightly against them. She was in her usual getup. A loose collar t-shirt and a pair of short string pants. But what broke my heart was the state of her thighs.
There was a single large patch of burn marking on her left thigh and two slightly smaller patches of burn markings on her right thigh. Those weren't just the only patches as there were a few splatters of smaller burn marks around her thighs. From the colour of the markings, they were still fresh as Sae cried out in pain.
"It hurts! It hurts! Ahh!"
Sae screamed as her voice rang into the very core of my brain. I had never heard her voice so coarse. It was in a range where I didn't expect to come out of her sweet and innocent mouth. It made me realize that I don't want her to sound like that ever again in my life.
"Water… Water!"
I panicked as soon as I saw those markings. I was about to rush into her toilet and get a bucket of water without thinking things through my head. Sae immediately stopped me by shouting back at my words.
"NO!"
Sae screamed as she looked at me with the saddest look she could give me. It seemed like the substance that caused her burn would only cause my issues when coming in contact with water.
At that time, Mirai was still screaming and barking his lungs out. It was interrupting my train of thoughts. I didn't know what face I was giving Mirai but I remember shouting as loud as I can while I pointed my finger at him.
"Mirai! Shut up!"
Mirai obediently stopped barking. He then walked towards Sae and made sure they were in hug range. It seemed that Mirai understood that I was going to help Sae as he provided moral support to his owner. However, as soon as Sae was holding onto her pet dog, she started bombarding words like a broken fax machine.
"I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry."
Her sorries echoed throughout the small house as I stand and watch her suffer. They were starting to disrupt my thoughts and I was once again distracted. I wasn't able to assess the situation calmly. I decided it would be best to comfort her the best way I can.
"Sae. It's okay. I'm here. Just leave the rest to me. I'll handle things from here. Okay?"
Sae then nodded but continued saying her apologies softly. I who was able to finally think began to devise the best course of action.
I was deciding on calling her mother or the ambulance, deciding which would be the best course of action. Not knowing when the ambulance will arrive, I recall Sae's mother worked near the house. And knowing that she was more knowledgeable about the area than I was, I decided it would be best to contact her.
The main issue was I didn't have her number. Sae could tell me her phone number but she was still in pain despite leaning against the wall and embracing her dog. However, the dumb 19-year-old Nobuo didn't have a better solution. Thus, I asked Sae for her mother's number.
I went and patted Sae in the head while bringing my face as close to hers, hoping to comfort her as much as I can while asking her to do one more thing for me.
"Sae. I'm sorry. But can you tell me your mother's phone number…"
"No! She wouldn't care about me…"
"Sae now is not the time to care about who cares about who. Your life is in danger and that is enough reason for your mother to help you. Please, I'm begging you."
Sae reluctantly told me her phone number as I keyed in the number on my phone. It was then I realized the smoke from her kitchen was still rising. I figured it would be best to make sure everything in the kitchen was cleared before calling her mother.
As I steadily walked towards the kitchen, I noticed that there was a burned fish on top of the stove. The stove was still on and the fire was burning the fish, causing the smoke to rise. As I was about to walk over and shut off the stove, I quickly realized the condition of the floor and retracted my leg.
There was sizzling oil all over the floor. If I had taken another step my foot would have been burned also. There was also a single four-sided pan that was flipped upside down on the floor. As I made sure not to step on the oil, I shut off the stove. And with all the dots connected, I finally understood what had happened.
Sae was cooking the fish when she suddenly lost grip of the pan. The pan flipped and the oil spilt all over the floor and her thighs. the fish that was in the pan fell onto the stove and was left to burn, causing the smoke to rise. Sae then sat on the ground inside the kitchen as the pain quickly got to her.
Sae couldn't pick up her phone and couldn't hear my voice over from the gate either. Sure Mirai was barking and she would know someone was at the gate but it could have been anyone. As soon as she heard my voice as I banged her door, she pushed herself and crawl towards the door to open it for me.
The thought of her going through all that pain wasn't something I can relate to. I had never gotten oil spilt on me before but the way my mother described it to me once was very painful even though it was only a small spot on her finger. For it to land all over Sae's thighs was beyond my comprehension. It was a pain beyond my understanding.
However, what broke my heart was the reason behind Sae's burst of apologies. At first, I thought she was only apologizing for the fact she made a mess and had to cause me so much worry. I thought it was because she just wanted today to be a happy day but instead caused a commotion.
But no… Sae wasn't saying sorry for that.
Sae was cooking that fish for me. She was trying to give me a great day while showing how much of a great person she was. But in the midst of the incident, Sae had caused a mess and turned my day around. She had caused an issue that she couldn't fully put the blame on herself.
I made her cook that fish. I made her want to give me a great day. I made her cause the mess and turned my day around. I made Sae cause an issue that she couldn't fully put the blame on herself.
I made Sae burn her thighs.
I made Sae cry.
And she knew.
She wasn't saying sorry for making a mess.
She was saying sorry for making me carry a burden for the rest of my life.
And those scars on her thighs, was proof of that.
I couldn't help but cry as I continued to watch Sae's lips move from afar. I knew she was still apologizing as her barrage of sorries continued. Even though I couldn't hear her voice, her voice was still echoing in my ears. I was in pain.
But the pain she was going through was even more severe.
I quickly called Sae's mother and explained the situation to her. She told me to stay by her as she drove over to pick her up and bring her to the hospital. The phone call ended in under a minute and I had to play the waiting game.
As I slowly walked towards Sae, she looked at me as her neverending tears continued to fall from her eyes. It seemed she had stopped moving her mouth. Maybe it was because she had also seen the tears coming out of my eyes.
Sae's mental state was never stable from the very beginning. Along with this incident and the burden that we had to carry, it would have crushed her by then. If I was Sae, I would have already broken down. The fact she was still able to cry made me realize that she was the strongest person I have ever met in my life.
"It's okay. We'll be fine."
Those words couldn't come out of my mouth. I was too much in pain to talk too. I could only squat down and pat her on the head. My tears were dripping down against my cheeks and my mouth was trembling. However, I don't want her to see me in this state.
I don't want her to see the weakness in me. I want to make sure that I could remain calm for her. I want her to know at least that I have the situation under control. So I sucked up my feelings and comfort her the way I know I can.
I was by her side.
Not long later, Sae's mother reached the front gate. We helped Sae get into her car and locked up the house as soon as we comforted Mirai.
"I'll take it from here. Thank you."
With those final words from Sae's mother. She took off as I stood in front of the gate of a broken family's broken house.
I was alone.