"Hanguang-Jun" a student places a piece of paper in front of me "could you explain these complex scores? I am unable to comprehend what they're!" explaining to them patiently at study hall of Cloud Recess, I hear my uncle's voice from behind. "Wangji" at once everyone bows to uncle and he looks as if he is contemplating something deep. Knowing he needs to talk, I dismiss everyone.
"The Koi Tower has a banquet this month and I want you and Xichen to be present on our behalf" he sighs "things are very tense at the moment. So be careful as to how we conduct ourselves there" he looks straight at me and I understand what he's trying to imply.
I need to be away from Wei Ying. Why does it pain so much when my own uncle does not understand what my heart wants?
"Uncle" I look at him, but before I could speak he warns me "Wangji, do not disappoint me" with that he English English leaves me Engine.
If one were to ever ask me why this Hanguang-Jun such cold Parted man? The answer is that no one here cares for what's inside one's heart. The soft ones are always treated miserably.
THE
But does that mean it's good to be away from worldly pleasures and be miserable? An answer probably I would fail to find. A gust of wind plays with the chimes above and I remember my time with Wei Ying here in Study hall.
I smile.
"Lan Zhan!" Wei Ying pouts as he copies down the Gusu Clan rules again. Not paying him any heed, though my mind was aware of his every move. "Lan Zhan, are you going to continue to ignore me?" He whines.
"Hm" is my plain reply to his ridiculous question. I could never ignore him for the life in me.
One moment he is sitting opposite to me, the next moment, papers are thrown around and he bends as close to me as possible. For him it's a jest but for me it's life altering moment. Gazing into his eyes, I am lost in the depths of darkness in there. Watching his Adam's apple bob, his mole more apparent just as the gust of the wind sweeps in and the chimes above play with eachother.
"Lan Zhan" he grins "your eyes are so pale, I can see myself in them. Some might say you're in love with me for my image is reflected in your eyes". He laughs and I am truly shocked, pushing him away I reply in haste "Shameless" and I walk away.
I smile.
I still can hear his innocent laughter. I wish you were here. Making up my stubborn mind and unable to stop myself, I walk down the Gusu mountains when my steps falter as I see her sitting on top of a tree stump.
"Lady Zhi Ruo" I bow and she smiles. "Wangji, you can call me Zhi Ruo". Not knowing what to say, I remain quiet and aloof. As usual.
"Looking at you right now, I can guess where you're going" she smiles and I look at her. She is sincere. As she walks past by me, she winks "If elder Lan or anyone would ask me anything, I'll just tell them you're out there on a night hunt".
"Don't lie" I don't like anyone lying on my behalf and her sweet laughter rings around. "Wangji, I am a Lan, we never lie. I will be telling the truth. Knowing you, you're where the chaos will be. You think you won't hunt any monsters on your way? Relax, meet him and then come back. You're secret is safe with me" she bows and leaves.
So there is someone here who understands what a heart wants! I'll remember your kind deeds Lady Zhi Ruo
Without looking back, I walk away to where my heart is.
"Young Master, we're here" as he stows the boat at the dock, I descend onto the soft plains of freshly soaked mud. The path is surrounded on both sides with lotus ponds and the smell of them is heavenly.
Smells just like Wei.
Lotus Pier.
I am here Wei Ying.
"Young Master" a man calls for my attention and I walk towards him. His stall has array of souvenirs "Do you wish to buy something?" His eyes widen when I pick up a black tassel with a jade pendant in its middle.
Would he like this? It would be perfect for his Chenging.
I hand it to him, he packs it carefully and I pay him. Hiding it inside my inner cloak, I walk towards Lotus Pier.
On my way I find a kid, his looks quite young and innocent, happy unlike the kids back at Gusu. But before I could talk to him, he blinks at me and runs away dropping his wooden saber. Picking them up, I stride behind the kid, when my steps falter.
There he is.
Sitting away from the crowd he once loved, all alone on a mud baked wall, playing his Chenqing. The soft lonely music being played aches my heart. Hiding behind the wall, I hear him pour his heart out and not one person from here approach him. The music stops and I watch him jump down and walk away. I follow his footsteps closely and I live for the rest of my time here as him. I watch him longingly look at the Lotus Pods that he once bragged about. I watch him walk aimlessly with his heart bearing such heaviness that burdens his soul from his core.
Lastly as I watch him sneak into Lotus Pier, my heart shatters. This is not my Wei. My Wei is lost. Maybe forever. The Wei in there is lonely. Sad. Miserable.
Feeling dejected, I walk away from Lotus Pier. My Wei is all alone and there is not one thing I could do to help him. Sadly I can't be by his side. No matter that I have broken my rule today, going against my uncle, I can't truly rebel against him.
Though it could be a start.
1
"Wangji" I hear my brother call my name as I make my way to Jingshi. Turning to look at him, his eyes are concerned for me and in that moment I know, he knew where I was. "This is not like you, Wangji. You know uncle would be furious if he knew where you were".
"I know" I nod and wait for my punishment, which surprises me when my brother hugs me warmly "My young Wangji, please be careful" he smiles sadly and leaves.
That night sleep eludes me. All I could think about is a boy with sad eyes and broken soul.
I wish things hadn't changed. It was the day everything changed. Your praise turned into a nightmare. You a lonesome warrior became a monster the realm feared.
"Welcome Brother, Wangi" Jin Guang Yao bows and welcomes us to the JinLing Sect Banquet. "We're humbled to have you here amongst us" he smiles and continues his conversation with brother while we are seated on a tuffet cushion placed for the banquet in the Glamour Hall.
Assuming the look of being stoic, to wait patiently, these gatherings have never been to the likes of mine. Being present here was for the sheer pleasure of my uncle.
As the festivities start, the humility of some wane down and soon gave way for causing new ruckus in our lives.
"ZewuJun" Jin Zi Xun brings out a jar of wine and pours one for brother and me "We're practicality families now, if you don't drink this, you would be insulting me" he laughs sarcastically.
"The Gusu Clan has strict rules against drinking Jin Zi Xun" Jin Guang Yao states calmly with a smile "they need to mount their swords back to Gusu".
"So? It's not like they would be drunk just after few cups!" Jin Zi Xun boasts. Not wanting to create any more scene my brother quietly drinks the liquor. Knowing his secret for handling his liquor is something I never learnt personally.
Turning his attention to me, Jin Zi Xun prods me "Hanguang-Jun, drink yours now" he grins maliciously and I, eye the drink with hatred. Just when I am about to leave the premise, the cup in front of me is swiped away. My gaze finds a familiar black cloak, then his Chenging and finally the soul that was meant to be with me.
My Wei Ying.
This is it, soon it's going to be the birth of the Yiling Patriarch!