I was dreading to enter the library pavillion after what happened yesterday. To watch you sit there is a pure torture for me. Every movement of mine is a reaction to yours. Keeping my emotions stoic is becoming difficult as time passes by.
Little did I know that today you would be sitting there and diligently copy down the entire Lan House Rules.
To say I am surprised is an understatement. As I enter, you look at me and your eyes spark with mischief yet my steps halt and I gaze at them fondly. Has anyone ever been this ecstatic to welcome me? I doubt. Usually, I am never wanted. This soul has seen disdain, fear or lack of interest, but happiness? This is new.
It's disconcerting.
Unable to comprehend on how one must act under such situation, I choose to walk away and take my usual place. Watching you write, my eyes perceive the white ribbon you have adorned in place of your usual red and this does not sit well with me No... This is wrong. White ribbon does not suit you! It never will. That was not what I saw back then. Hiding behind a book, I bring out what once was your red ribbon, the one that I have been holding onto so dearly until now. Caressing my fingers on the grim piece of cloth, the numerous times that I have cherished it, it should have been a taboo but this was all that I had of yours.
I want to cry out, pleading you to remember me! Do you? Should I dare to ask? What if you don't? Could I bear that thought?
Suddenly I watch you get up in my peripheral and I quickly hide the ribbon inside my inner cloak.
"Brother Lan" you call out and it pierces my heart. Brother Lan? No please call me Lan Zhan... Just like before.
"Brother WangJi" nope I won't respond.
"Lan Wangji" you whine and I still pretend not to hear you. Call me Lan Zhan and I shall respond.
I continue writing when you finally call "Lan Zhan!!!" There you go, now I shall respond. I raise my eyebrows and look at him with a mock disdain.
"Why do you hate me so much? Have I annoyed you a lot?" He whines and oh my poor heart, I want to touch that lips of his again. You could never annoy me. I keep looking at him and he smiles,"don't worry, today is my last day here in the Library Pavilion, I am almost done with my punishment so you won't have to look after me anymore." My heart sinks.
Already? Oh Wei Ying, if only you knew.
To hide my moist eyes I look away and pretend to read my book. No one should see these emotions within me. Especially not him.
"Here, this is for you" he hands out a paper and when I turn to look at it my world stops.
Is this for me? But why? Other than my brother, no one has ever given me anything. Why are you giving this to me, Wei Ying?
As he places it on my table, I involuntarily pick it up and admire the finesse with which he has drawn... Me!
Wangji, he gave you... You!
No he can't see my emotions. I carefully place it and pretend to have no interest and pick up the book that I was reading, only to find it been replaced with an obscene content.
My Gusu Clan rules training take over and immediately my wrath towards him knows no bounds.
"Wei Ying!" I yell and the terror in his eyes makes me want to back down. I can be angry with anyone on this realm but never you, Wei Ying. I would never hurt you!
"Lan Zhan" he backs away and mistakes me clutching my Bichen as my intention to fight with him.
"Lan Zhan, you know the rules, no fighting inside Library Pavilion."
"Then let's fight outside" I warn.
"Lan Zhan, don't tell me, you have never seen such matter in your life?" He teases and I remember my Uncle's warning.
"Wei Ying" I warn and he moves back.
"Alright, alright, I am leaving" with that he walks away.
Taking deep breaths, I sit down and close my eyes. The only image that lingers behind is that book of the obscenity.
Shameless!
Taking few deep breath I open my eyes and the first thing that my eyes perceive is the book. I quickly pick it up to disperse it but later think against my act. This could be an ammunition I need later to bribe him.
(A/n: are you sure Lan Zhan your ammunition is not for any other perverted reason...*wink,wink*)
I pick up the book and painting and bring it along with me to Jingshi. Here no one would dare enter the premise and so I open a loose floorboard in my bed chamber and place them inside, but not without one last look at the painting. It's of me sitting and reading a book with a serene expression and a peony flower fastened onto my hair.
I smile.
Maybe for the first time ever this soul has sported a genuine smile.
You made me smile, Wei Ying.
Next morning I don't find him inside Library Pavilion and even though I knew he won't be there, it still pained me. Making way to my usual bench, I find something delicate resting there.
Peony flower.
(A/n: Please check what they mean).
You never cease to amaze me, Wei Ying.
Picking up the delicate flower I place it carefully inside my robe. Passing through throngs of students, I see him talking to Jiang Cheng and one other. Ignoring him is best for my sanity at this moment and so I walk past by them quickly to reach Jingshi.
Once inside the safety of my abode, I gently take the flower out and smell them. Their scent is the same as of yours,Wei Ying, and just like a love sick puppy, I swore to cherish it forever. Placing it carefully with your painting, I lock the board and walk away.
That night I don't seek him. My heart is aware that we can never be together. He's not mine, but perceiving the meaning of Peonies and what they represent, I sleep peacefully, knowing somewhere, there is a person who wants me to be happy.
Wei Ying.
Aw man, this guy, Lan Zhan, where can I find a man like him? He's adorable. I hope you guys have loved this chapter? I am just trying to figure him out behind his stoic nature.
Bonus Pic:
*Wink wink* It's a page from Wei Ying's obscene book. Hehe.
If you guys like it then please like and tell that you liked it the best