"Brother, what do you mean? I never did anything to you!"
Allen was seething in anger. He remembered exactly how Allan spread rumors about him. Like how has he been bullying him and telling it to their father or brothers even without him doing it?
"Did you people remember how you grounded me when Allan said that I have been stealing his pocket money? Seriously, you locked me up and did not give me food for a week. I would have died if I did not have a solution."
When they remembered about that incident they shuddered. Edgar who gave those orders started sweating. How could he not forget about it? When he realized that Allan was lying and was just playing a prank, he laughed it off and did not pay attention. He completely forgot about his punishment.
Later that night he noticed that Allen was not eating with tracing back his memory he then remembered that the last time Allen ate together with them was lunch. The day he grounded him. Realizing this he quickly asked the maids to get the key to Allen's room. By the time they came, Allen was eating a lot of paper.
Ever since then he developed it into xylophagia. A condition that makes people consume paper and form of eating disorder known as pica. The guilt of forgetting his child was haunting him. The very image of Allen looking so sallow and thin like a twig that could break at the strong wind. Eyes hollowed like a soulless doll. He looked like a broken piece of the vase. He tried to make it up for him but the child never responded.
"If you think of it, you are all trash. I tried to be a good son and a good brother for my mother but you disappointed me. I don't belong here. I would rather leave everything behind than delude myself that there is a space for me here. That you cared. For the sake of my mother who died for me. But in fact, I don't need to. I will just go on and start all over again than treasure something that I thought I had when in fact I don't."
Adam stopped him when he was walking away. "Allen, I know that you have issues but listen to dad. If it is about your lover, dad can just arrange someone instead of him. Listen to dad, okay?"
Allen looked at with hatred. "Brother, I already recovered from amnesia long ago. I am no longer a fool. I did not say anything but that does not mean that forgave you."
Allen forcefully took back his arm. "If there is anyone that I owe. That is not you. It is mother who died in my stead."
Those were the last words that they heard from him before he died. It was full of hatred.
…
"I'll go look for Dad. It is as Dame said, let's talk about this later." Adam went out to get treated and Adrian can only sigh and led Caroline and Francine. Maybe out of shock, Francine forgot about her initial hate for Adrian. She was still immersed in the fact that Dame already had a lover while not knowing that the lover she was thinking was already dead but still thinking about eliminating him. Such an ill-intentioned woman.
…
Dame was hurrying to the private facility where Allen was sent into. Driving along the road, Dame was anxious. They were still talking a few days ago. They were thinking about how to reveal their relationship to their family.
Allen was so excited. Even though Allen did not say it and he even tried to pretend. Deep in his heart, he had always wanted to be acknowledged by his family. He knew all of his experiences and wanted to be with him out of pity. He did not expect that their relationship would come to this extent.
Allen wanted to introduce him long ago but he refused to say a bunch of excuses. It worked for quite a long time but a few days ago he ran out of excuses. The both of them got into a huge fight.
…
"Why don't you want to introduce me? Is there something wrong?" Allen asked worriedly. His hands were fidgeting out of anxiousness. Dame held his arms and told him the truth.
"Allen the truth is, my family never thought of me as a gay person. I do not know how they will react. Allen, I wanted to tell you this but I am afraid that I will hurt you. Allen after thinking about it I can't introduce you after all. Anyway, you are still young. You can still find another person to love."
Allen became dazed after he heard. He felt numb all of the sudden. He thought that this man loved him. All of a sudden he wanted to break up? Why? Is he not enough? Is it because he was not accepted in the family that Dame would not introduce him? Why?
All of a sudden he felt like the world has thoroughly abandoned him. He looked at Dame as if he was looking at a stranger. He never felt this abandonment before. He shook off Dame's arm and walk out. Completely ignored Dame who was calling him.
Dame did not chase after him. He felt guilty. But what could he do? He dare not risk anything even if he had already gained the power to protect Allen. Perhaps he would understand. He deluded himself with this assumption. Not knowing the despair he put Allen into.
…
Dame parked his car and walked mindlessly. Not clearly remembering where he dared to ask where Allen is. When he saw him. He cried. He should have been braver. He already had what it takes. When did he become such a coward? He wished to go back in time. Back to the very first time, Allen asked him to introduce him. But what can he do? His love was dead and his chances were gone.