"Don't mind these things. I know what to do. Allen was like a son to me I don't mind doing more than what a lawyer should."
Gilbert's firm resolution made Dame even more assured. He sighed.
"Anyway, the family suspected that there is more to this matter. Allen's body was taken for autopsy. Initial results will be presented tomorrow."
"I know. I will visit that family today. The madam left something for Allen. It was supposed to be given him to when he reaches adulthood. However, it seems to be no use."
"Okay, then... That would be all."
Dame said as he hung up the phone. He drank the last bit of the liquor. He stared at the space for a while. Even in his mind, he continued to miss Allen. What did Allen think in his last moments? Did he think of me? His family? Or did he just simply let go? How he wished he was there at his last breath. Maybe things would have turned out just him being sad. But what could he do?
Maybe he was tired. He must have felt so alone. With no one beside him. No one to understand him. That is why he left.
Dame went back to Allen's studio. Deeply listening to Allen's gift to him. His Allen was a genius. To create such a piece of beautiful music but the world has been cruel to him. So, as Dame.
Dame had no questions as to why Allen chose to leave it all behind and go to a place that he was sure no one would bother him. He was sure he disappointed the young man.
He should have been braver. Should have had the courage to tell the world that he loved him. That this man was his. Beautiful like a high note. Charming like a song.
Tears rolled down his cheeks and cried. Whoever said that a man must not cry? People only say that because they felt pride when people cried but not them. Not realizing that they were deluding themselves. They are nothing more than weak people trying to be strong. What a farce.
Dame closed his eyes. Replaying the moments they shared. Tears went down his cheeks. Truly, his love is gone. He wished he could go back in time. Tell him that he loves him, look after him, and make sure he was happy. But it's too late, he left, without even saying goodbye.
Just like that, he fell asleep thinking of his beloved.
…
Alba Family mansion.
Edgar was looking at their family picture hung up in his study. He looked at his lovely wife whom he missed so much. His children who his wife said as little angels, are smiling brightly. This was taken on his wife's last birthday. There were so happy back then. But now… He could only sigh. Just, what went wrong?
"Father..."
Edgar was brought back to reality when he heard Allan calling him. He looked at his son and smiled sadly.
"Allan, what's wrong dear? Do you need something?"
Allan fiddled his hands. Wanting to say something but failed to say it. "I… about brother… he…"
"Your brother?"
Edgar gestured to Allan to sit down. The both of them settled and Allan immediately opened his mouth.
"Father, I heard elder brother Adam and Dame fought earlier. Adrian was there too."
"Why did they fought?" As long as he remembered the two have always been on good terms.
"Father, when elder brother Dame learned that Allen died he immediately fought with brother. It turns out that he and Allen were in a relationship for quite a long time. That is why he was mad." Allan trembled when he thought of the two being together. He was not jealous that the two managed to be in a relationship while being under everyone's nose. He too wanted to be the same.
Maybe if he could hold on he could still confess his feelings. It's a shame he could not ask his brother how they got together with Dame.
Edgar, on the other hand, was stoned in his seat. He remembered what he said to Allen. He only thought of what is good for him. So he wanted to set him up with other people with good backgrounds. But he failed to even hear out his son. He was so angry at that time. But how did he and Dame even got into a relationship? He seemed to remember his son never even dare go out of his room. How come he does not even know any of this?
In a fit of rage. He stood up and went directly to his son's room. Allan was curious as to what his father was about to do. So, just blindly followed him.
The silent room was immediately opened with a loud bang. Edgar came in to look for his son to berate him with questions. For a moment he saw his son staring at the window. Just as he was about to open his mouth, he stopped.
He looked around to find his son. With a pang in his chest, he remembered that his son was already dead.
He tried to recall the image of his son but all he could remember is his son's face full of hate and his sleeping face where he was found dead. He went around the room to look for a photo of his son but all he could see are bare olive-colored walls.
There were no lavish decorations such as collectibles unlike his brother Allan. A huge wardrobe for fashion branded clothes like his second brother Adrian. Rows of bookcases filled with various books like his eldest son Adam. Just a simple bed, bedside table, wardrobe, study desk, a single rattan chair, and table on the balcony.
"Allan, call the butler." Allan immediately did as he was told.
There was not even a post-it note stuck near his study desk. The difference was just so big. He does not believe it. His son was not like this in the past. He rummaged around but could not find the shelf his son would usually sit in front of, the whole day to the point of even sleeping beside it when he was younger.
When the butler came he stared at him for quite a while.
"S-sir, do you need something?" the old Butler Ron stammered.
"The shelf…"
"Pardon?"
"Where is the shelf Allen had when he was younger?"
"T-that… shelf…" The butler pursed his trembling lips. For a while, he could only sigh.
"Sir, that shelf was long gone. It was you who ordered to have it removed when the young master ate all the musical scores the madam left for him. When you knew about what papers he ate, you were so angry and ordered them to be removed. He cried so hard to stop you and said he had no choice to eat it because he was starving. Master did not listen and directly cut off his allowance. Except for those that he needed he never bought anything that was not necessary."
The old butler cried when he spoke of it. He tried to do everything for the young master so that he could spend his allowance to play but he refused.
"How come I did not know about this? Why did no one ever tell me?" He felt so devastated when he heard that. Those scores were the only thing he loved. He would even laugh at his son when he fell asleep under it.
Yet, he directly took it away. What has he done?
"You were always busy, sire. You would also get angry every time the young master was mentioned. That is why no one ever told you."
Edgar never felt this kind of guilt before. He was so mad at himself that it was making him speechless. He felt so stuffy and cried. How could he do that to his son? At that time, he seemed to see Allen looking at him. With clouded eyes and a tear-stained face.
His voice echoed in his mind. Saying sweetly, "Don't cry."
"You don't deserve it."