Andy woke up early on Boxing day and lay in bed thinking about the Christmas Day revelations.
'Good God,' he thought 'That wasn't what I expected.' Quite frankly he just didn't know what to think. He felt sad that his Mam had never spoken about it and that he had just accepted without question that he didn't know anything about her past.
He knew what it was like to hide something and he knew how to deflect questions. He felt deep sadness for his Mam and wondered what the hell had happened to her family. He wondered if they were all still in Camden and then it dawned on him that maybe he was going to have to meet them. He wasn't sure how he felt about that.
Lying there in his childhood room he realized he had been living a lie and had not known who he really was. He had gone through his teenage years hiding the fact he was gay and now he finds out he was basically half traveller into the bargain.
'Does it really matter?' he thought. 'No, no of course it doesn't it's just a shock and I need to get my head around it.
His next thought was: 'Does it change anything?'
And he lay their thinking these things but not really knowing what to think.
He looked around his old bedroom and a sadness filled his heart. So much time was lost. His Dad had died in this room and once that thought entered his mind he decided to get up. It was quite chilly so he put his Christmas jumper on over his stripey blue pajamas and slipped his feet into the new slippers that Maggie had bought for him as a Christmas gift. They were rather large 'Shaun the Sheep' slippers made from white faux sheepskin with a black face and eyes and ears. He thought they were hilarious.
As he made his way to the kitchen he saw that Maggie was already up and was sitting in the kitchen in her old worn pink toweling dressing gown looking like she hadn't slept a wink.
'Morning Mam,' he said as he shuffled in with his giant sheep slippers dragging on the cheap black and white tiles.
'Those slippers are great aren't they?' and they both had a little giggle.
Maggie got up to make some some tea and toast.
'Did you sleep alright love?'
Andy had sat down at the table and was staring out the window at the cold grey London morning.
'I did Mam, thanks.' he said.
They both sat there quietly eating their toast and drinking tea. it was far too early to start recounting anything from the night before. Maggie remembered how much Bill had loved Boxing Day. He loved eating the leftovers and thought it was actually better than Christmas dinner itself. He would make a big pile of Turkey and ham sandwiches and plates of Mince pies and they would all sit together and watch the horse racing on TV.
Andy and Maggie laughed fondly at the memory and decided that was what they would do.
'Sure what else would you be doing on Boxing day?' Maggie exclaimed.
'I'm just going to get a shower and get changed and then maybe I can find a mass online that I can watch. Let's make a lovely lunch in honor of Bill,' she said quite brightly.
Andy agreed and shuffled off into his bedroom. He would put on the new tracksuit that Jan had sent over. It wasn't really that exciting just a baggy marl grey sweatshirt and sweat pants but perfect for knocking around the house. He got changed quickly and as his Mam was watching her mass he cruised the gay sites online. He had a profile on Gaydar but he hadn't been brave enough to message anyone yet or go live as it were so he would just scroll through all the profiles and stop at the ones he liked. Maybe one day he would send a message but he wasn't quite ready for that yet.
He heard his Mam turn on the TV and decided to join her. She was already on the balcony having a fag and the cold air had swept into the living room. He shivered as he entered the room.
'You'll catch your death of cold out their Mam,' he said. She was wearing her Marks and Spencer coat and had the furry hood up so she didn't hear what he said. As she slid the glass sliding door shut Andy smelt the stench of tobacco. He thought quietly to himself I'll try and get her to give those things up for New Year. At least she was smoking out on the balcony and not in the flat anymore. Andy couldn't abide the smell of tobacco.
'Let's get lunch ready,' Maggie said as she hung her coat in the hall. Andy gave her coat a quick spray of air freshener and they both got busy in the kitchen.
'I'll make my turkey soup shall I?' he said. As was tradition he had stripped all the meat off the turkey carcass and was now boiling the bones to make a stock. Then he added the vegetables, onions, carrots and celery, some rosemary and thyme and let it simmer for an hour or so. The aroma filled the kitchen and made them both quite nostalgic. Boxing day soup, that's what Bill had called it and they would have that with the sandwiches and mince pies.
They prepared quite a feast that would take care of the day. It was a day of snacking with no official lunch or dinner just whenever they felt a bit peckish. They would spend the day going back and forth to the kitchen, indulging in a bowl of trifle or a plate of sandwiches. This was the tradition that they loved and a lovely warm atmosphere filled the flat. They also had all the heating on so it was quite toasty. Throughout the day as they watched all the Christmas TV and Boxing Day specials on the BBC. One or both of them would doze off at different times.
Neither of them thought about calling Jan and the family after the unpleasant call the day before and neither of them noticed that nobody had called them.
By early evening they were both feeling quite stuffed and Maggie poured them both a sherry. They only ever had this at Christmas and neither of them were even sure that they liked it but it was tradition so Maggie had dragged out the sherry glasses and they both made a toast to Bill and to Emma. They stood by the fireplace and had both sadly looked at the two photos and the cracked Super Gran Mug and had felt the loss of their life gone by. A tear had ran down Maggie's face and they had both just stood there staring at the photos. Feeling her son's sadness Maggie quickly said: 'Come on now son we must keep it together that's what they would want. Now let's see What's on the telly for the evening.'
They settled back down on the old comfortable sofa and focused on a re run of Gone With the Wind. Both of them loved that movie and were both relieved just to switch off. If they thought too much it was just too painful. They sat and watched the movie in more or less silence just making a few comments here and there as Maggie finished off her box of Celebrations.
Both of them knew that they were going to need to speak about what was said the day before but somehow neither of them could bring it up and they had gotten through the day without it rearing it's head. It was like the elephant in the room and they both knew at some point they were going to have to acknowledge it.
The TV was babbling away in the background as the news came on and the harrowing statistics of Corona deaths were being discussed and the reasoning behind the Christmas lockdowns was set forth by some man in a suit.
'It's for our own good,' Andy said 'I just wish Jan and the family could see how reckless and selfish they are being.'
Andy's blood boiled when he thought about it and he blamed Darren for introducing them all to his crazy tinfoil hat conspiracy theory's.
'Where did it all go wrong?' he said loudly to Maggie. She just looked at him blankly.
'I don't know son, I just don't know.'
As they sat there Andy heard himself ask Maggie: 'What happened to them?' and Maggie had looked at him with a puzzled expression.
'What happened to who?' she said.
'Your family Mam. What happened to them?'
Maggie took a deep breath and began...
'Well I suppose I'd better just tell you everything. Let me just have a quick cigarette and you go and get me a glass of wine and please don't judge me when I tell you what happened.'