As the months passed in a haze of grief one good thing began to become very apparent. Victoria was heavily and obviously pregnant and had stopped hiding it. Jan had figured it out all those months back but with sll the grief she didn't have the space in her brain to actually think about it.
When the news officially broke it brought so much joy to everyone. Victoria had told her Dad and Grandma over a zoom call and they all cried tears of joy.
Andy couldn't believe it and Jan and him joked about being too young to be Granny and Grandad. The news lifted everyone's spirits. A new life coming into the world gave them hope like a light in the darkness and suddenly Victoria was the center of attention.
Somehow if Victoria hadn't been pregnant Jan may not have recovered in the way that she did. She stopped drinking and started to look after herself doing an online yoga class every morning . She had even started meditating but had still not mastered it and felt a bit silly doing it but she kept it up and was determined to heal.
The first time Darren saw his mother sitting cross legged in the living room with her eyes shut gently swaying from side to side he had nearly pissed himself laughing. She opened her eyes and snapped at him to shut up and then both of them laughed hysterically for the first time since Bill and Emma had passed away.
It had just been so unexpected seeing Jan sitting their in the living room like that. The laugh did them both good and Darren sat with his mother and both of them had tried to meditate together but neither of them were able to get through a minute of silence without cracking up.
Jan had opened her eyes to all the pain and grief she had suppressed since she was a young girl. She had gone through so much in her life but had never really addressed it. Her daughters death triggered a healing process within her. The fact of an imminent arrival of her very own grandchild drove her on because life was for living and everyday was precious.
She got busy making plans for the arrival of the baby and made an appointment with the doctor for Victoria. Every day she looked online at baby videos and birthing videos. Victoria had asked her to be her birthing partner and she took this really seriously. Every day she wondered if this new life was sent to heal them and secretly belived it was Emma's soul reincarnated.
Victoria was now eight months pregnant and had not had a scan or seen a doctor. She had however Googled everything and had even done some online birthing classes and was taking folic acid but all in all the pregnancy had been a breeze with very little morning sickness or complications.
Darren was ecstatic about Victoria's pregnancy and the thought of becoming an uncle. He saw the changes in his own Mum and it brought so much light into the darkness. He continued with his online videos and was now a bit of a sensation online with his Nothing Adds Up channel. He kept it real and talked from the heart and his mathematical mind and clear way of addressing the Corona statistics and blatant lies as he called them gained him more followers by the day.
He spoke regulary about his grief at the death of his sister. He blamed the fake pandemic, as he called it, for her death. He was furious that both his Grandad's and Sister's deaths had been put down to Covid and he challenged this. His raw emotion and obvious loss resonated with his viewers and the support he got from them helped him get through.
He had also developed a relationship of sorts with Samura the beautiful Japanese girl that he had somehow connected with through Bill. They now spoke regualary on the phone and she was his biggest supportor online. They just clicked and seemed to have the same thoughts about what was going on.
They were now at the stage of wanting to actually meet and both knew it was imminent. She lived nearby in Maida Vale where her parents ran a Suishi restaurant that was quite well known. It just had not been the right time and although Darren wanted desperately to meet this beautiful girl that had come into his life he had put it on hold as he came to terms with his grief. So over the months they got to know each other by talking endlessly on the phone and eventually they started to facetime.
Back in Camden Andy and Maggie had settled into a routine that was comfortable for both of them and a huge comfort in it's familiarity. They had their meals together and settled in for the evenings to watch television together, watching reruns of things like 'Midsummer Night Murders' and the like. A lot of tears had been shed and they talked endlessly about Bill and Emma. Life had changed so much and they were both aware that it would never be the same again.
Andy had regressed somewhat to his former self being away from his family and back in his old bedroom he had done a lot of soul searching. He knew he could never go back to living a lie but he didn't know how he was going to move forward. For now their was no need to address it all as it was still early days and had only been months since all their lives changed. The grief was still raw for all of them.
The news of Victoria's pregnancy had lifted Andy and Jan and they joked daily about becoming grandparents. Whenever they spoke Jan addressed themselves as Granny and Grandad and the thought of this made them both giggle. Jan had decided that she was far too young to be called Granny and had decided on Glammy but everyone just called her Granny anyway even though she corrected them every time.
On hearing the news Maggie had started knitting beautiful little jumpers, hats and cardigans in all sorts of neutral colours. She didn't care if it was a boy or a girl what was important to her was a new life and life going on.
She had a repeat of the dream that had given her such comfort. Like the first dream Bill appeared in a distant tunnel of light and turned around and smiled at her. He had then reached out his hand towards her and she saw Emma run towards him they both then stood for a moment smiling at Maggie and then turned and drifted away hand in hand. She woke up the next morning and remembered the dream or vision as she called it.
She recounted the whole thing to Andy as they sat having breakfast.
'I had that dream again,' she said 'they want us to know that they are together and they are okay'.
Both of them had hugged and cried and Maggie reassured Andy saying they are both together they are both okay.
Andy had gone back to cooking beautiful meals for both of them which was something he hadn't done in years and he had forgotton how much he loved cooking. It had been one of his passions growing up especially baking. Every few days he would bake something and each afternoon they would sit and have afternoon tea and this is when they started to really open up to each other.
Andy had always been able to be his true self with his mother and now his real self was emerging again Maggie had always been so silent about her past and in reality nobody really knew about her childhood or family. It was just something that was never talked about and because it was always that way nobody seemed to realize or question it.
Bill had known just not to ask and over the years her past just became not important. She was always the listener and everybody came to Maggie to tell their stories or ask her advice. Over the years she had developed the skill of deflection by asking people questions and listening to them. It had in the early days been a mechanism to deflect from talking about her past and in the end had become a part of who she was.
Bill had always been the story teller recounting his days as a Teddy Boy and telling stories about growing up in Camden back in the day in a loving working class family.
Andy and his Mam followed all the Corona news and had started talking about taking the vaccine. They believed that Bill had died of Covid and also Emma and no matter what Darren said they didn't want to hear it. they followed the mainstream media and this gave them the structure of how to live in the pandemic.
Back in Hayes however, with Darren becoming more outspoken with his thoughts, Jan and Victoria had something of a revelation and the three of them talked endlessly about what was going on. Jan and Victoria started to ask questions. Jan had watched Darren's YouTube channel and read all the comments and a light bulb had gone off in her head. She saw the lies and the cruelty and felt the pain of not even being able to bury her precious child or say her proper goodbyes to both Bill and Emma. Her heart was broken but started to fill with fire.
The family was beginning to divide and go their separate ways and the truth was starting to come out in both households.