Episode 6.
I love Fame but is he really who I want to spend the rest of my life with? Is he who I envisioned myself with?I just do not know and it angers me that I do not have answers to these questions.
Many times I want to walk away but his conviction and understanding qualities makes me wish I loved him the depth he does to me. Convincing my mom is almost impossible and her sisters; my aunties ain't ever going to help instead they are watching and stretching out their ostrich necks to peep who I'll bring home as husband. They already have irritating sentiments about me.He really lost his temper last night and said he was tired of the conviction.'I'm done with always trying to convince you to stay '
'I'm tired of convincing you to let us take it to the altar' I'm so tired of everything.Everything!
What he doesn't know is by staying with him I am also fighting my own demons.It sounds like a favour right? It's weird you wanting someone and at the same time not wanting that same person.I don't want to lose him but I also can't promise him the future.It will break my heart to see him in pain after seeing him break down through divorce process and watching him walk away from a failed marriage whilst I am shattering his heart with my psychopathic fears and insecurities. I hate being the one that causes pain to someone so before I cause him an everlasting scar in his heart I decided on ending our relationship but it's easier said than done cause in the end I was drunk in his addiction.