I am sitting in my mothers' kitchen siting at her island eating a bowl of cereal when I see my mother walk in with bags that look like they came from Walmart. She convinced me to come home for a visit so here I am. She walked straight over to the counter and set the bags down.
"Hi Hijo" She said as she took the things out of the bags.
"Hey Ma. Did you really go to Walmart?" I asked her as I continued to eat my cereal.
"Don't say it like that just because you have money now doesn't mean that I should stop going to the stores that I always do. Tu dinero es tu dinero. And what are you eating" She responded in a tone that said drop it.
"Ma, I make money for us so that we can live. So, it's not my money it's for us. You raised me by yourself working two jobs. My goal has always been to make it where you never have to work again a day in your life. You know what's in this bowl." I finished the last of my cereal and got up to put my bowl in the dish washer, something that I knew my mom hated but I really didn't feel like washing it out right now and she would have had a fit if I left it in the sink.
"Siempre trabajaré me gusta trabajar. You should have waited and I would have made breakfast for you. That is not food and it's what kids eat not a hombre hecho y derecho." This is where she started the mommy mode of wanting to wait on me hand and foot. At least at home I had Joanne to buffer and do some of the things she like doing. I walked back over to my seat at the island as she talked and put things away.
"Ma I know you will always work trust me we have had this conversation a hundred times. Also, while I am here you have to promise not to wait on me hand and foot and just relax and spend time with me. I am grown I can do things on my own." I saw the look on her face and it was serious after I made my statement which let me know the spicy Puerto Rican woman that raised me was about to show her face.
"You come home when you want to, which has been years. I had to cómo se dice sentimiento de culpa en inglés.."
"Guilt trip" I responded
"Yes guilt trip you into coming home with me this time. If I want to wait on you hand and foot I will and you will stop complaining. Understood?" She was stern with her hands on the counter as she stared at me.
"Understood." I answered her. She turned away from me and grabbed everything that she must have needed to make breakfast from what it looked like she was about to make Cremas. I saw that she started the coffee maker and as the smell hit the air my mouth watered and my stomach growled, which she must have heard because she turned around and gave me the I told you so look. I smiled and just picked up my phone.
"Speaking of being home you will never guess who I ran into today at the store." She said as she looked back at me while still stirring her pot.
"Ma, I am not really into the guessing game this morning. Can you just tell me?" I was scrolling through my Instagram watching all the people on my timeline posting pictures of them and their families and also of people on vacations. I decided to get off of Instagram and check my email.
"Chanaé." I still had my head down looking at my phone but I had stopped looking at my emails and waited to see if she kept going. "She looks good. It's weird I have not seen her in the five years since you guys broke up and today of all days I run into her. I didn't even know it was her in front of me I was actually talking to the little girl in the cart because she reminded me a of a female you when you were little and then there she was she turned around and it looked like she had saw a ghost. She didn't really say much she was in a hurry fue raro." I looked up at my mother who was now moving around the kitchen going from the fridge to the island.
"Why was it weird? What did she say?" I asked setting my phone completely down and giving her my full attention. It felt weird just hearing that my mother saw her after all these years.
"She just seemed off like she wanted to get away from me but didn't know how to get away." She was now getting down the eat ware and cups that we needed for breakfast.
"Okay, at least she is married with a family and happy." That tasted like acid coming out of mouth but I was not about to let it seem lie I am still hung up on my high school girlfriend.
"No, she didn't have on a ring. She might be dating but not married, unless they are one of you newer generation kids who believe in not wearing rings." She was now distributing the Cremas into the bowls and cutting up mangos. I got up from my seat and poured us both some coffee into cups and got the sugar and milk and added it to the island. My mom set up two spots for the both us at the island with Cremas, mangos, and coffee. I hadn't been home but I really do miss spending this kind of time with her.
"Oh. So what made you talk to her daughter?" I asked my mother as we began to eat breakfast.
"I told you she was in the front of the cart and as I looked at her she reminded me of a female you. She was so friendly and talkative."
"What do you mean she reminded you of me when I was little?" I asked my mother
"She looked like you a little from when you were little" I stopped mid rise of my spoon when I heard her say that. But there could be no way we were broken up five years ago.
How old is her daughter?" I asked curiously
"She said she was four so it must have been right after you and her broke up." I just sat there or the kid was mine because she had to be pregnant for nine months. My mind was spinning there was no way that she would have had my baby and not have told me. But something in my head just kept saying that I needed to find out. My heart was racing and I could not think right.
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After finishing breakfast with my mother I went up to my old room and grabbed my phone. I started looking on my old social media page that I had before I joined the NFL, I stopped using it but I did go on now and then to look at what some of my old friends were doing, Chanae unfriended me when she broke up with me, I still had Bobby as a friend but he never posted anything about Chanae and he also never posted anything with her so I have no idea what she looked like now. I searched for Bobby and it looked like he hadn't posted for a few days but looking at his profile picture it looked like he was online now. I want to message him but as I think about it he has never tried to reach out to me after his sister and I broke up and we were close. He didn't agree with me dating his sister but I told him when I started having feelings for her. At first, I thought that he felt a type of way that we broke up but his sister broke up with me it wasn't the other way around. Hearing that Chanae had a daughter that is around five years old had me thinking that maybe she had started seeing someone while I was away. If she had I would have rather her be honest with me and tell me the truth, I did feel pain in my chest thinking about her leaving me for someone. The thought of her daughter being mine crossed my mind and it made me a little happy but that quickly faded with the thought of her hiding something that big from me. That made me hope that her daughter was not mine, which started to make me feel anger coming into my body.
When Chanae and I broke up I lost my best friend and my girl so at first, it was hard, and even though I had friends in college the ones that knew me before I was a big football star in college were the ones I depended on to keep me grounded. A lot of people thought that I was crazy for going to college and staying with my high school girlfriend who was still in high school. I didn't care that Chanae was a year behind me, the connection I had with her didn't compare to being around anyone else. In college, I had plenty of friends and even girls that wanted to be more than friends, but I was stuck on Chanae. There was one girl that I was close to was Sherri and that was because we had most classes together and we studied and did most of our assignments together as she was one of the few people in most of the classes with straight A's. Chanae always thought that Sherri wanted me to be more than her friend and I never saw Sherri in that way, I thought that was the way that it was on both sides but I got a rude awakening when I returned to school early after Chanae broke up with me. When I got back I stayed to myself and stopped hanging out with my college friends. Sherri noticed this and one night showed up to my dorm with pizza and wanted to cheer me up and study for the upcoming test that we had in psychology. I pretended to be fine and studied with her but after the first hour and her constantly repeating things because I would daze off into space. After a while she got must have gotten tired of repeating herself because she closed her book and asked me what was going on. I kept telling her that I was fine but she kept pushing so I explained the situation and she called herself consoling me and just talking to me but she tried kissing me and it got to us making out but it popped in my head what we were doing and I honestly thought about Chanae and even how she would feel if she wanted to get back with me and found out about this. I stopped what we were doing and kicked her out of my room. She tried to talk to me after that but I refused to put myself into that situation. After a few months and realizing that Chanae and I were over I did start sleeping around but I never slept with the same girl more than once and after a while I had to venture outside of the campus. It got better during travel games where I got to sleep with girls from other schools. I have decided relationships are not for me I am meant to be a lone wolf and I am fine with that, I love it no attachment, and no one to question what I am doing. The single life is amazing, even though some of these women try to get attached.
I was going through the pictures on Bobby's page trying to see if I saw any of Chanae or her daughter but there were none. I saw that he was still online and debated again whether or not I should slide in his inbox. Part of me didn't want to do it because I felt a way towards how Bobby chose to stop talking to me after the break up he answered the first day but after that, he never answered or returned calls. At first, I was angry about it because we had been friends for so long, but after a few months, I started to not care.
I kept scrolling through the photos on Booby's page and decided that there wouldn't be any harm in reaching out. I clicked on the messenger icon and started typing a new message to him.
"Hey, Bobby long time no hear" I typed the message and hit send. I waited to see if he would respond. I closed out of my messenger after a few seconds and put my phone down. I decided to just put on a movie and relax, which is something I have not done for a while. There is a ding that comes from my phone and I pick it up to see that Bobby responded. I unlock my phone to read the message.
"Is this Anthony?" was the message that was sent.
"Yes I am using my old account" I sent back
"I never thought that I would hear from you again since we were in college" is what he sent back
"I am in Connecticut for a few weeks if you want to hang out and catch up" I sent to him. We went back and forth texting until I suggested that we go for lunch and he agreed