I put Toni to bed and went into the kitchen to clean up our after-dinner mess. It had been two days since Bobby went out with Anthony and tonight he was coming over to let me know what happened. I cleaned off the table and swept the floor. As I began to put the dishes in the dishwasher I hear a knock on the door. I look at the ring camera that I have placed in the kitchen and see that it was Bobby. I opened the door for him.
"Hey," I said as I stepped aside for him to walk in the door.
"Hey, what's up" he replied as he walked into my foyer.
"I am good, tired but good. How about you?" I asked as I closed the door and walked into the living room with Bobby behind me. I sat on the sofa and Bobby across from me on the loveseat.
"I am ok still dealing baby mother stuff which causes girlfriend stuff. So that's my life" he replied laughing at the last part. I gave him the I am not touching that look.
"Let me tell you I am glad that you knocked. Your other siblings and a few others have the audacity to ring my bell this time of night"
"I figured Toni was asleep and I didn't want to wake her, plus I know you want to talk about my meeting with Anthony" he whispered the last part. He was completely right I wanted to know what the hell happened during that meeting.
"I do want to know. Also, your right I had to wait until Toni went to sleep that girl hears everything whether you know if she is listening or not" my daughter wasn't nosey, she knew not to interrupt or be in an adult conversation but she does sometimes ask questions about what she hears sometimes so I am mostly safe with what I am talking about around her.
"To be honest Nae there is nothing to tell. He was more worried about me not communicating with him or answering for him when you and he broke up" Bobby answered
"So he didn't ask anything about me?" I asked with honest curiosity.
"No, he asked about the family in general but not about you specifically. Did you want him to?" That was a good question did I want him to ask about me or did I just want to make sure that he wasn't coming around because his mother saw Toni in the store.
"No, I just want to make sure Toni wasn't brought up. I think it's weird that I saw his mom who has apparently been in the state this whole time and never have we crossed paths but all of a sudden I see her with Toni and Anthony is reaching out to you." This makes me feel like he knows something or he has an ulterior motive.
"I know it's none of my business trust me I do, and I do not want to go back to arguing with you…."
"Then just don't say it because I feel like your about to turn into mom," Everyone thinks that they know what's good for my daughter but I know what's best for her more than anyone else would.
"I get it especially with me having the issues I have with my baby mother that what I say has no weight. But as a father I would never want to not know my son, he is my world and I love him more than life itself." I knew he loved his son and I see his point but he isn't Anthony.
"I get what you are saying. I gave that man his life, he gets to be this big NFL star because I left him and didn't tell him about Toni. He would not have left and gone back to school he would have stayed and tried to work and make sure we were ok."
"But do you honestly think that was your choice to make? Anthony was a good dude in high school and college and he was good to you. Besides the women, he still seems like a great dude."
"Bottom line Bobby I don't want my daughter in that lifestyle. She is doing great, she has a routine and it doesn't need to be interrupted. He will be going home soon anyway" He isn't even around the state he hasn't been back in five years.
"Alright, I just want you to keep in mind that he has feelings too and it may be worse if he finds out versus you telling him. Him finding out can feel like a betrayal from you for not telling him." I sat and thought about what Bobby is saying but it scares me more to have him uproot Toni's life and mine. I love my family but they only see that he doesn't know and how I should tell Anthony rather than Toni has had her life lived a certain way for the last four years which is her whole life and change it around.
"We are not going to think like that. I want my daughter to have the best and I work hard for her to have just that."
"I know you work hard and you're a great mom, I just think that you should think about adding another person, a parent to her life. Nae just thinks about it you don't have to listen to me just think on it." He did give me food for thought but I am still so hesitant. Our life is fine.
.........................................................…
I decided to take the day off and stay home. I dropped Toni off at school and came straight back home. I called Trina last night after Bobby left and found out that she didn't have to work today so I asked her to come over to talk. Trina had to get Jason on the bus before she came so while I waited I cleaned up our breakfast dishes and the table where most of Toni's breakfast sat. I love my child but her messy eating she definitely got from Anthony. Just like him more of her food ends up on the table than in her mouth, when Anthony and I dated he always had to put the napkin on his lap and his shirt. I don't know how they even get full. In the morning I have to get Toni dressed and then put one of my big T-shirts on her so she doesn't get food all over her clothes before school. Thank goodness I only feed her cereal on the weekends and that is only if we have nowhere to go. I usually cook her eggs and some kind of protein for breakfast so that she is full until it is lunchtime. Just like Anthony Toni could be a bottomless pit with food. I finished the kitchen and went into the living room and sat on the sofa. I grabbed my phone and started scrolling through social media. I hear my door open and close and I know that it is Trina because it's only her and my mom who have a key to my house as I have to theirs. She walked around the corner and sat next to me on the sofa.
"What's up," She said as she reached and hugged me.
"Life, how about you?" I asked hugging her back.
"I hear that" She responded.
"Wine?' I asked
"When would I say no to wine even at nine in the morning?" She laughed. I got up and went into the kitchen with her following behind me. I grabbed the wine glasses out of my cabinet and the wine bottle opener, while Trina grabbed the wine off of the counter from the wine bottle holder. She handed me the wine and I opened it.
"So why did you take the day off?" She asked as I poured us both wine.
"Girl Guess who is back in town?" I asked handing her, her glass and turning to walk into the living room.
"I don't know who Anthony?" She asked as we sat on the sofa and she sipped her wine. I just looked at her and she looked me in the face almost spitting out her wine. "Wait I was joking are you serious?" She asked
"Yes, he is back and he met with Bobby the other day?"
"Wait how do you know?" She asked
"Bobby told me, but that is after I saw his mom in the store while I was with Toni" I answered her before sipping my wine.
"Wait you and Bobby are talking now? Damn we have only not talked for two days"
"I know but because you have been busy and I have been at the center and work and taking care of Toni I have not had the chance to actually sit down and talk to you"
"Wait so you saw his mom, and Bobby talked to him, does he know about Toni?"
"No. I told you I am not telling him. He has his life and we have ours" I sipped more of my wine.
"I know you said that but I always hoped that you would change your mind. I told you all those years ago that I thought you should tell him."
"I think that it is too late, to be honest with you."
"I think that if he is here and he finds out that it would be worse than if you told him. I am pretty sure that his mom told him she saw you and that you have a kid, if he knows her age he is going to either think that you cheated or lied and either one would not be good" I thought about what she said and I understood it, I just am not sure that it is the right thing for Toni and that is who I care about the most in this situation.
"I will think about it because you are right."
"I can bet that everyone else has told you the same thing" She laughed
"Why do you say that?" I asked
"Because you gave in way too easily with your stubborn ass, so I know that it has been said to you over and over" She laughed and I just looked at her with the I hate you look.