"Hey Ma" I yelled as Toni and I walked into my mother's house.
"In my room." I heard the TV on in the living room so I sent Toni that way and headed upstairs to my mother's room. As I climb the stairs I hear Toni yell Uncle Bobby. Bobby is my older brother. He and I stopped talking when I got pregnant with Toni, He was actually best friends with Anthony. When he found out I was pregnant he was going to confront Anthony and I wouldn't let him so he got mad and said I was like every other chicken head out there that laid down with these boys and let them knock them up without worrying how the baby was going to be raised. He stopped talking to Anthony and I stopped talking to him, I will say he doesn't treat my daughter any different than any of my other nieces. When I walked in my mom's room she was in the closet on the floor looking for something.
"Hey Ma. What are you looking for?" I sat on her bed and watched her.
"I am looking for the pink flats that I brought a few months ago. I think they will go great with this dress I got on. I don't know where they could be. They shouldn't even be this far back in the closet." Shit, I didn't think she would go looking for them so soon. I took them without asking and I was hoping to have them back by the time she got ready to wear them again.
"Ma."
"Give me a minute Chanaé. This is driving me crazy, they shouldn't even be this far back in the closet." She crawled deeper into the closet.
"Ma." She stopped and crawled back out of the closet.
"Yes Chanaé"
"Well, I sort of borrowed your shoes." I saw how the look of recognition came across her face.
"How do you sort of borrow shoes that I specifically told you that you couldn't when you asked? How did you even get them out of the house?" Damn here comes the lecture.
"To be honest Ma, I thought I was going to bring them back before you even knew they were gone."
"Bring them back before I knew they were gone huh? What was going to happen if you messed them up? Were you going to just put them back and let me think that somehow something happened to them in the closet?"
"If something would have happened to them then I would have come clean. There is nothing wrong with them and I will bring them back tomorrow."
"I swear between you and your sisters I cannot keep anything. It's you with my shoes and them with my purses and perfume."
"I don't know about them but I always return your things intact." My mom got up off the floor and wiped her pants off.
"It doesn't matter just bring my shit back. I don't go to your house just taking things from you, so don't come here taking my stuff." Yea she doesn't take it because when I let her borrow she just doesn't give it back. I wasn't stupid enough to say that to her though.
"Okay." She walked out of her room and I followed her downstairs. It was quiet so that meant no one was home. We walked through the living room and my step dad was sitting on the couch with his head back asleep. I heard voices in the kitchen so I knew that was where Bobby and Toni were.
"Why don't Keith go upstairs?" I asked my mom about my stepfather.
"Because if you ask him he isn't sleep, he is just resting his eyes and he can hear the television still."
"I ain't sleep" Keith said opening one eye and closing it.
"Whatever old man. You need to go lay upstairs so my company won't come in here seeing you laid up." My mom and Keith are hilarious. They go back and forth like this all the time but when you see them together you can feel the love between them. My mom and Keith have been married for over fifteen years. My mom and my dad divorced when I was around five. Bobby and I share a father and the other four siblings are by Keith. Keith treats us like we are his and we treat him no different from our dad.
"What company it's only Bobby and Chanaé?"
"Hey" I said feigning hurt.
"Sorry baby girl. I didn't mean anything by it."
"I know Dad. I am just pulling your leg. I figure I would mess with you since Ma tore me a new one."
"She's always tearing someone a new one. At least it isn't me."
"Keep it up you two." My mom threatened us and walked into the kitchen. Keith closed his eyes back and I followed my mother. When we got in the kitchen Bobby and Toni were sitting at the table having some conversation, it looked like my mom interrupted when she leaned down to give Toni a kiss. Toni had a plate with my mom's homemade cookies and a glass of water in front of her. My baby loved her grandmothers' cookies and I am glad she opted for the water because she is lactose in tolerate, and I did not have to deal with her stomach today.
"How's grandma's baby?" My mother asked her.
"Good, look I got some of your cookies. Look mommy I got some of grandma's cookies."
"You have." I corrected her.
"Huh" She asked confused with the cookie on its way to her mouth.
"It is you have some of grandma's cookies not you got."
"Oh okay, I have some of grandma's cookies" she corrected waving her cookie in the air.
"Hey Chanaé" this came from my brother who I kindly ignored and walked over to the refrigerator. I grabbed a water and closed it.
"Hurry up Pooh Bear. I want to run errands before we go in the house."
"You just got here why are you leaving so soon?" My mother asked.
"Ma you know why she is leaving so fast." My brother always had something to say.
"Chanaé come on" My mom pleaded.
"Ma, I have to run errands I just told you. I haven't done anything but work this last week and I need to cook for the week so my baby will have hot meals." I know Bobby was trying to grab my attention but he can just kiss my ass.
"Where are you headed?" My mom asked.
"I am going to grab Toni some clothes and head to Walmart for some things, and no."
"No what Chanaé?"
"No, I am not going all over the world Ma. I am tired I want to just relax today and spend time with my baby."
"Well if you're going to Walmart I will just send my list with you." My mother is addicted to Walmart. I guess she could have a worse addiction but her list when she sends to the store is long and I hate going to the store for her but I do it anyway.
"Ma, you don't need anything from Walmart I just went there for you last week." She still was looking in the draw for a pen, when she found one she grabbed a pad and sat at the table to write down what she wanted. I looked through her cabinets to find something to snack on, when I found a bag of chips I closed the cabinet and standing there was Bobby.
"Can I talk to you for a minute?" This fool is crazy, I just wanted to eat my chips and wait for the list. This is why I was leaving, I really don't' feel like the drama today.
"Why?"
"Come on Naé Naé" for real my nickname, we haven't spoken in almost five years and he wants to start calling me that damn nickname. Him and Anthony always called me that, I didn't let anyone call me that. My mother hated the nickname anyway she always says she didn't name her kids so people can mess up their names.
"Don't call me that and I am only doing this because I don't want to make a scene in front of Toni."
"Why do I have to go through all of this to have a conversation with my sister."
"Let's get this straight. I told you this five years ago and it still stands today. I am not your sister. We do not have to have any interaction at all. I am content with not knowing you."
"So, what about Toni?" Now he was plucking my last nerve.
"I never told Toni she couldn't speak to you. She loves her aunts and uncles. I don't have to talk to you for her to. She doesn't even know that you thought I shouldn't even had had her. Let alone the names that you called her mother."
"Look Nae I am so sorry I have been trying to tell you that for years and you blow me off every time. I love you and it's my job to protect you, so me not wanting to see you hurt whether it's my friend or not just took over and I got mad. I was supposed to always make sure you never cried and the day you told us you were pregnant I could see how you had been crying. It just hurt me and I always thought you were going to be the one to get married and have kids. Not get pregnant in high school and have to struggle." I looked at my brother, I mean really looked at him and I could tell how sincere he was being. I haven't talked to him in so long this just feels weird.
"Look Bobby I love Toni and although I had her before I wanted to I would not trade her for anything else in this world. She may have been unplanned and not the way everybody wanted me to have her but because of her I am where I am today. Every day I get up, and I have to get her dressed I want to work harder and help those kids because I want to make up the fact that I ever thought of getting rid of her. If I didn't have my baby, I would live to regret it and that little girl in there gives me the best life in the world. I would not want to know what a life would be like without her." That was the Gods honest truth, there is no life without Antoinette Janae Smith, that little girl held my whole heart in the palm of her hands.
"I know, I see you with her and you're a great mom. I would never take that away from you. I was dead wrong with the way I acted when you told us. I have regretted the way I reacted for years, I wish that you would have given me a chance to apologize sooner, but you work in your own time so I just tried to wait but you weren't forgiving fast enough." Only Bobby could joke about this.
"Well I don't forgive what you said but I guess I could be cordial. I am tired of hearing Ma mouth about it."
"Okay, I'll take that." With that we ended the conversation. Bobby went in for a hug but I stopped him, I said I would forgive what he said but hugging is a step farther than I meant. When we walked back into the kitchen I saw my mother watching our every move. I went and sat down at the table with my mom and Toni.
"So, you guys talked?" My mother didn't even let me sit completely before she asked.
"Yes, so now you can leave me alone."
"Watch your mouth young lady. Just because your grown does not meant I can't whoop your ass"
"Ooh Grandma used a bad word" Toni squealed
"See, now you said a bad word in front of your granddaughter" I had to laugh it was hilarious to see my mom stunned quiet because I know she forgot Toni was there. Toni was like the curse police if you said a curse word in front of her she made sure you knew she heard. Unfortunately, no one really cursed around her because they had to pay and she made sure that everyone did.
"Grandma is sorry pumpkin."
"You still have to pay the bad word jar grandma."
"Yea Ma you still have to pay the jar." My mother gave me the death stare. She did this to herself, I keep telling them Toni is determined to fill all her jars so she is on point with her hearing. I learned the hard way but I do not curse in front of her, even when I am on the phone I step out to where she cannot hear me and trust me it's hard because sometimes I am on a call with someone that burns my soul.
"I will. Here is the list." She gave me the list and then grabbed the curse jar out of the cabinet above the fridge and put her five dollars in. Toni curse jar is expensive and we made it like that in the beginning so that we would not curse around her and now we are really regretting it.
"Okay so we're headed out." I told her as I grabbed Toni laughing.
"This is not funny. I swear you kids drive me crazy." I kissed her good bye.
"It's okay mom. It is only five dollars. I will see you in a little while. After this trip, you are not allowed at Walmart, I am starting to think this is an addiction for you."
"It is but at least it is one I can afford." Toni hugged her and we said our good byes to Bobby and Keith.
.............................................…..
At Walmart, we got most of everything on my mom's list which was, mostly cleaning stuff. We are in line and I am so proud that Toni and I got everything that we needed at on store, therefore Walmart rocks. I got dinner which ended up being Toni's favorite lasagna and salad. I had no choice but to get it because she asked for salad and I love that my daughter eats vegetables. Toni is in the carriage and I see her smile and wave at someone behind me. Toni is so friendly and I love that about her, I hope she is still like that when she grows up.
"She is so pretty. She reminds me of a female version of my son." I hear the woman behind me say and I turn around. My whole body seized up, I cannot believe after all these years who I am seeing.