The car ride home was extremely quiet and extremely awkward. While my parents and I were eating, they told me what they thought of Nix. They said he looked like a druggy and a drop out, and I worked hard to convince them otherwise. I didn't really know why everyone thought badly of Nix just because he had tattoos and he wore darker clothes; I always thought he was cool. But now that he was in the car with us, I saw how different we were from each other. Nix looked out of place and different here.
"It's really impressive that you have a job," I said quietly to him. For some reason, the small space of the car made me see how much bigger he was compared to me. His legs were up higher because the seat was too low, and his knees brushed up against the back of the driver's seat. Because of the way he was sitting, his torso looked longer, and his shirt didn't hang loose on him like it usually did, and it was obvious that he had muscle. I could feel my face start to burn as my eyes traced him; is this what intimidation felt like?
Nix shrugged, not looking at me, but out the window. "It's actually very-" he started to say, but then, for some reason, he stopped and turned to look at me. "Uh, yeah. Costumers are a pain and the pay is horrible."
I almost laughed. It was a lie; he just said it to make me feel better. Dreaming of working at a place like that would be impossible for me. There's no way I would be able to handle it. But Nix wasn't going to tell me that it was easy, he wasn't like that.
"Hey… Are you alright?" Nix asked me suddenly and I gave him a confused look. What did he mean? Of course I'm alright. "Your face is red. Are you sure you're not sick?"
I started to answer when Nix suddenly lean towards me and brought up his hand. My body instantly went stiff and my heart started to pick up its pace. Oh no, he's going to touch me… What do I do? I thought, but then Nix pulled back his hand again. "Shit, I'm sorry," he said quickly. "I forgot somehow. Will you check to see if you have a fever?"
Letting out a breath of relief, I nodded and pressed the back of my hand to my forehead. "I feel fine. I think my face just got red because I got embarrassed," I answered, trying to be vague. I didn't want him to know that I was staring at him…
He smirked. "Whatever you say."
The car stopped as we finally made it to my house, and I got out of the car as quick as possible and raced around to get to Nix's door. He smirked at me when I got to his window and got out of the car at a much slower pace. "Excited much?"
Grinning, I nodded. "Yes. It's been a very long time since anyone has come over."
"Show me the way, then," he said, and I walked with him up to the house and waited for my mom to unlock the door. Once inside, I told Nix that he could he could leave his work bag by the door, and asked him where he wanted to go first. "To your room, I guess," he answered, and I led him up the stairs.
Opening the door, I instantly walked over to my bed and sat down, waiting for him to come in as well. However, Nix stopped walking in at the door. "What's wrong?" I asked him, curious.
"Uhh, are you sure this is your room? It looks so… Unlived in," he stated and looked around at my bare, pale walls, and almost empty bookshelves. He was right- it did look unlived in. I didn't have anything personal in here, and everything was left tidy and untouched.
"It's probably because I don't come in here a lot," I tried to reason. "I really don't like this room."
Nix gave me an odd look. "Why not?"
"That's um…" I tried to say, but I wasn't sure I was ready to tell him about that yet. "Do you want to go to the game room instead? I'm in there more often."
He shrugged, but agreed to it, and followed me to the game room. This room was much better- the walls were painted different colors and the were covered in posters from the music and TV shows that I liked. It was called the game room because there was TV sitting up against the wall and bean bags sitting around it, holding game controllers. I loved this room more than anything because it was my own, and it took me away from everything else.
"I'm guessing you're really good at these," Nix said while looking through a box of games that was sitting on a table beside the TV. He looked more conformable in here; I was glad.
"I'm okay," I answered, and not just to be modest. I didn't really have anyone to compare my skills to. "Do you want to play?"
Nodding, he picked through the box of games until he found one he liked and put it into the system. I gave him a controller and we sat on the bean bags and began to play. When we started I was surprised to find that Nix had to ask me how the game worked, and even more surprised when he started to die frequently. However, I ignored and we kept playing, but after about an hour of him trying to figure it out, he gave up.
"Fuck this," he groaned and leaned back on his bean bag. "Sorry I have no idea how to work this."
"Do you not play video games?" I asked as innocently as possible. I didn't want to tell him he was bad, but he was really horrible, even for the first try of a game.
"Nah, I don't own a system. I never really found it interesting," he said. "I spend too much money on music anyways; I don't think I have enough means to buy one."
"Why didn't you just tell me?" I asked him. "We didn't have to play. I just thought you wanted to."
Nix shrugged. "I didn't mind it. You were really excited about having some over so I figured we could do whatever you wanted."
I sighed. He was so complicated. "I think we're both defective," I told him, lying back like he was.
"Defective?" he repeated, urging me to explain.
"Mhmm," I said, and looking at him as I spoke. "Your personality and what you say out loud don't match up at all. You're so mean, but so nice at the same time. And I'm just defective. I can't be near anyone."
There was a small silence, and for a moment, I wondered if I offended him. Maybe I shouldn't have said that. Was he mad at me now? The thought was eating me from the inside.
"Maybe. But I never thought of you as defective," he said thoughtfully. "That's a funny way of putting it though. I just always think of you as different, and I'm kind of glad you're not like everyone else."
Instantly, my face started to burn and Nix laughed. "Embarrassed?" he asked. "This is why I don't say nice things."
"Oh really? I thought you were just doing the act still," I said laughing, but he just rolled his eyes and smiled. I took this prefect opportunity to pick up the pillow that was on the floor beside me, and flung it at him at hard as I could.
The pillow hit him with a smack and suddenly, Nix's smile disappeared. "You… You better fucking run," he warned me, and I instantly sprung up and ran out the door. I ran as fast could, but I could hear Nix right behind me. If I ran into a room Nix would get caught up with me; I had no time to get in and lock it, so instead, I ran for the stairs.
"Where are you going??" Nix yelled after me, but I just laughed and kept going for the stairs. He didn't know my house as well as I did. This was going to be easy.
When I made it to the stairs, I quickly started to go down them and quickly looked back to see if Nix was behind me. However, when I looked back, I lost my footing, and I felt myself starting to fall. "Kace!" Nix yelled at me, and I panicked. I knew I was supposed to reach out and stop myself, but reach were? The only thing my eyes would focus on was the long flight of stairs below.
Suddenly, I felt as two arms quickly pulled me back, and I landed on the top stairs with a loud thud. "Ow…" I groaned, feeling a sharp pain in my back, but I didn't have time to feel sorry for myself. Nix quickly gripped my shoulders and turned me towards him. His expression was extremely angry.
"What the hell Kace?? Why did you run down the stairs?! You could have died, goddamn it, Kace! This isn't a fucking horror movie, you don't run for the stairs!!" he yelled at me, and I instantly felt bad. I guess I should have thought it through more; Nix looked really upset. But suddenly, he pulled back his hands, his eyes wide. "Shit! I'm sorry, Kace. I didn't mean to touch you. I'm sorry I just freaked out."
I stared at him, confused for a moment, when it suddenly came to me. Oh… He was touching me? Why didn't I notice that?? "Um… Actually I'm okay," I told him truthfully. It was weird but I didn't feel bad or scared. "Maybe because the fall scared me, I didn't notice."
Nix wrung his hand through his bangs stressfully, panting from the excitement. "Maybe… I'm still sorry though. Are you okay?"
I nodded. "Thanks to you," I said, and he gave me a small smile that I returned. "Are you?"
He started to answer but my mom called for us to come down and eat, and we both eagerly walked down to eat. My mom inquired about the noise we made but we quickly made up a story to cover it up, and stuffed the pizza my parents bought in our mouths. It was only when we finished eating that I realized how late it was.
"Um… I guess you have to go home soon," I said to him sadly. I didn't really want him to leave. Even with the incident before, I still wanted him around. He just made thing easier on me.
"Why not spend the night?" my mom interjected and I stared at her, totally shocked. She had to be joking. He couldn't stay the night and she knew why. Why was she doing this?
Nix shrugged. "I don't mind. It is Saturday tomorrow. Is that okay with you?" he asked me.
"No!" I yelled out, and instantly regretting it when I realized that it came out way to strong. "I… I mean you don't want to do that. You'll get bored…"
Nix looked at me oddly. "Is there something wrong? I thought you wanted me here," he said.
I looked to my mom for advice but she was looking down at her food, ignoring me completely. "I do, I just… I have a hard time sleeping and I don't want you to see me like that…"
"Hard time sleeping?" Nix repeated, looking completely confused.
I took a deep breath, knowing there was no way out of this now. "I'm afraid of going to sleep… I get… crazy, I guess, sometimes."
I expected Nix to give me another odd look but instead he just smirked. "So? I wouldn't be here if I couldn't put up with your 'crazy'. That does suck though. If you still want me to leave, I will."
"You don't care?" I asked, surprised.
"No way," he answered. "Sleep is overrated anyways."