𝘠𝘶𝘲𝘪

A thin layer of air made me feel shivers down my spine after I realized it will rain in less than ten minutes. The smell of the 'pre rain soil' gave my nose some different kind of pleasure. It felt good yet sad at the same time. I don't know why, I hated when it rained. But I did like the smell, it's called petrichor or something like that.

I really didn't want to get fully covered by the rain, I always get a high fever when that happens. Ichika wasn't with me on top of that, I wish she had come here with me. But I think she already had the idea that her son really wasn't that 'pure boy' anymore after she sent him here at America. That jerk never even facetimed her, what kind of son he was who didn't care about his mother? One part of me was also happy on the fact that Ichika didn't have to see what kind of jerk her son had turned into. Her heart would have broken into pieces after seeing her beloved son, 'the great heir of the wang family', Aron Wang bullying me.

And he really isn't a 'great heir', he is far far far worse than that. He is such a blacksheep.

I wish I could break his legs, but sadly I wasn't able to do that. I promised to Ichika that I'll specially train her son in martial arts, and I could never break that promise. But it now seems like Aron isn't a easy jerk. He went too far than I had imagined.

"Miss Yuqi, it's time to have dinner," I heard Mr. Chen's voice and realized that it will rain in just two seconds.

I quickly ran to the kitchen just to see Mr. Chen already burning the curry. I mentally facepalmed as I rushed towards the stove and turned it off.

Mr. Chen heaved a deep sigh, he looked relieved. His face had a tint of red at the same time. I just smiled and took a glass of water attempting to give it to the flustered young man who was standing in front of me.

"Mr. Chen, aren't you being a little too cute these days?" I stated while trying not to smile.

And as expected, the man blushed more.

"Okay, you don't have to answer. And yeah, you don't have to struggle on trying to make that curry for me, yours will never taste like Ichika's anyways."

Mr. Chen nodded while lowering his head and then started preparing veggie noodles for me. The veggie noodles he makes has a rally good taste, it ranked the second after Ichika's special curry.

Not wasting my time anymore in the kitchen, I went upstairs in my room. It was a must to take a shower, I was covered with so much sweat because of practicing and experimenting some new kicking positions.

~

This spice tea tasted really good. I have to admit that Shirin actually did a great job by telling me the recipe of this 'Spice Tea'. She also told me that the grandmas in Bangladesh always make this tea for their grandchildren when they are sick. I think I should ask Shirin's mom to teach me a few South Asian recipes, the quality of their taste us superior.

But again, I didn't have much time left in this earth which no one knew about except my doctor and Mr. Chen. So I had to complete my promise before it was too late. Sometimes I wonder if anyone else was in my place, then how would they feel and what would they do. I really can't feel anything in my case. It feels empty which is infact a very good thing. I don't want to have any emotion before the few months of dying. But a stubborn nerve of my brain everytime reminds me of Ichika, my true and only family.

Before I could dive more into my thoughts, the sound of thunder made me come back at my senses. Maybe thunder was the only thing in this world that made me scared. But it made me feel the thing I wanted most, the urge to die. It made me want to go to a safe place, somewhere where only peace existed. And the only place filled with peace was heaven. But realistically the way to go to heaven was to die, that's actually pretty logical I guess.

It was already one at morning and the rain didn't stop pouring. I don't know, for some reason I enjoyed watching it rain today for the first.

Well I see it like this: The sky is my body and the clouds are my soul which are filled with so many feelings and emotions ofcourse. Lastly, every single droplet of rain is a part of my hidden feelings which most of the time I can't recognize myself. About the thunder, it basically represents all my fears which are even hidden from me.

So that's the reason why I don't like rain. Basically I don't like myself.

When I was a child, I had always dreamt of having a happy and joyful life just like other kids in my school. I wanted to enjoy their life and they wanted mine. But I was always grateful, some kids didn't have anyone in their life. I had Ichika and I was very grateful about it without any doubt. She was the reason why I wanted to live this life of mine.

But now I wish she didn't come to my life to play a motherly role. So I wouldn't have to deal with this short amount of emotion and I would die a lot before.

This life didn't mean anything to me. A body with a weak heart wasn't doing any help to me. For someone like me, dying was better than living like this. Yet I really wanted to do one thing before my death, was to complete my promise.