May 13th
The world that Cole lived in and the world that I lived in collided with each other.
Street fashion and high school. Music and fast-food restaurants. Carnivals and writing desks. The places that surrounded us told me that my world and his work were completely different.
Cole started writing in my journal again.
"High school student?"
"Yeah," I said. "I'm a 17 year old senior. About another half a year to go until I graduate."
"I'm 19. Graduated last year," Cole wrote. "Fuck college."
I let out a soft chuckle from that last one.
"I can see that you're quite the wild one." I said.
Cole smiled a little, but then looked down with a sad expression.
"Infection," he wrote. "I lost my hearing right after I graduated."
"I'm sorry to hear that," I said. "But you do seem to know how to lip read well."
"One of my friends was deaf. She knew sign language, but wanted to lip read, so I decided to help her. She taught me sign language."
"If you can communicate well, then how come you're here?"
Cole hesitated before he wrote his next lines.
"I wanted to write music, but now I can't. I was so depressed that I went mute and shut myself off from everyone. I felt so alone when I couldn't hear noise anymore."
Cole turned the page and started writing again.
"I got scared of my own thoughts and I wanted them to stop."
Streams of tears started rolling down his face again. I don't know why, but my heart ached when I saw him like that.
I wanted to cheer him up.
I placed both my hands on his cheeks, which were incredibly soft, and wiped the warm, wet tears off his face with my thumbs. I gave him a warm smile.
"There's no need to cry like that," I said. "But if you're going to cry, then you can lean on me if you have to."
Cole didn't hesitate to bury his face into my chest and sob his eyes out. I let out an awkward sigh and petted his head until he stopped crying.
About 10 minutes had passed before fell asleep from crying. His head is resting on my lap right now. He's quite a heavy sleeper. Doesn't snore, drool, or even turn his head. He's just sleeping peacefully.
He's really cute for a guy. Hell, he'd probably be able to fool a lot of people if he cross-dressed in public.
I'd probably like to see that.
The rides from the carnival were all active. The jolly music was playing from the rides, which was mixed in with the music from the other stores. Quite ironic for a deaf person.
And yet mine was quiet. Lonely. Isolated. As if no one would notice if it was gone.
I wonder how many people are crying for Cole right now.
Well, at least he has people who would cry for him.
Cole woke up in a cute way. He was blushing like crazy when he remembered what happened and apologized to me a million times. Sometimes I wonder if he really is older than me.
We went for rides at the carnival. He genuinely looked like he was having fun. I wonder if he can hear the sounds of the carnival. Probably, since this is his world after all.
"I wish I could hear your voice," Cole wrote. "I bet it sounds nice and gentle."
"I'm not so sure about that," I said. "I'm kinda introverted, so I'd say that I sound kinda shy."
"Don't worry, I sounded pretty shy back then too."
Honestly, you'd probably still sound shy right now.
"Heh! I guess that makes two of us."
We eventually found a cool looking carousel with big horses attached to poles.
"I don't think that I've ever ridden on a carousel before." I said.
"They're not that exciting," Cole wrote. "But they are pretty relaxing after getting off a giant roller coaster."
The lights illuminated a golden glow that highlighted the colorful horses. Streams of golden yellow, white, and blue covered these horses from head to hoof. I chose a random one, which actually turned out to be a unicorn, and hopped on.
I turned to see Cole writing something again.
"Do you mind if I ride with you?"
His eyes kept glancing back and forth at me as he waited for an answer.
"Sure, I don't mind." I said.
I didn't actually get the meaning of his question, because he suddenly started climbing onto the same unicorn that I was riding and wrapped his arms around my stomach.
I felt something warm rise inside my tightened chest. I started to shake a little. Embarrassment and fear intertwined inside my head.
I had breakouts whenever I got too nervous, scared, or hot. This would cause most of my body to itch. And right now, I was real lying itching like crazy.
"Am I holding on too tight?" Cole asked.
"No, you're fine." I squeaked out.
Though, that isn't exactly the problem right now.
The carousel started to move and our unicorn started moving up and down slowly as we circled around.
I suddenly felt Cole's head resting on my back. His breath felt warm through my shirt. The carousel was moving pretty slowly, but I suddenly started to feel dizzy.
Cole suddenly picked his head back up and started writing again.
"IM SORRY IM SORRY IM SORRY!!!!!!!" He wrote.
"What's wrong." I asked him, a little surprised.
"I always do this. God I'm so stupid. I'm really sorry. I felt your heartbeat suddenly go faster, so I thought I was scaring you!"
I shook my head.
"No no! You weren't scaring me! I was just a little surprised was all."
I'm kinda lying about that though since I was a little scared. I was just trying not to freak him out or make him upset.
Honestly, I really wanted him to do everything that he just did. Resting his face on my back. Wrapping his arms around my stomach. Smiling at my dumb attempts at cheering him up.
I guess I started to like him a lot as well.
"Hey, remember when you said that you liked me," I said. "Well, the truth is, I like you a lot too."
Cole's eyes went wide as he smiled and started to cry at the same time. I really didn't want to see him cry again. I know that his tears are joyful ones, but seeing him crying just reminded me of when we first met.
So, as a way of stopping him from crying, I kissed him.
I've never kissed anyone before. My only experience with kissing was from movies, so I was probably terrible at it.
I remember how soft his lips felt when I met them with mine. I hope my lips felt soft to him, otherwise I'd probably die of embarrassment.
Cole suddenly wrapped his arms around my neck and started kissing me a little more passionately. His kiss felt full of experience and love. Probably much more romantic than my kiss did.
I could faintly taste the cotton candy that he had a little while ago. I wish I had something sweet too instead of peanuts. If only I knew that this was going to happen.
Cole didn't seem to mind though, because his kissing just kept getting more and more intense. I honestly couldn't keep up with him. I was kinda just mimicking his the movements of his lips and tongue.
Eventually, we both got tired and stopped to catch our breaths. His face was bright red. Mine probably was too since I felt like I was on fire.
"You're face is red." I said, laughing a little.
"So is yours." Cole wrote.
"You know. Usually people would do it in a ferris wheel."
Cole's face looked like it turned a little more redder.
"If you want to...then we can." He wrote.
I nodded.
The ferris wheel looked like it went up really high. We got into a cart and closed and locked the door.
I wanted to try kissing Cole again, but Cole suddenly started taking his clothes off. His smooth, pale skin in full view right in front of my eyes. I felt as if I was in a trance.
I suddenly realized what Cole wanted to do. And it was something that I kinda wanted to do as well. So I followed his lead.
I always thought that sex would be one of the many things that I would never get to experience. Even after doing it, I still can't believe that I just did it. It felt strange at first, but it started to feel amazing once we both got in a rhythm.
Cole was sleeping beside me, his body wrapped around my right arm as he slept peacefully. He said that everything we did was his first time. I could believe him during the sex since we both were a little unbalanced, but that kiss we had was a little hard to believe.
I wonder if he had someone else back then. Or maybe he practiced a lot with a pillow while imagining someone famous.
Yeah, that second option does sound a lot like Cole. Her probably be too embarrassed to answer that question, so I think I'll spare him for now. Even if he's really fun to tease.
He'll be gone by tomorrow afternoon, but I don't want to leave him. If there was a way to escape the end of the world, then I would've gladly taken it. If only I had met Cole much sooner, maybe we both would still be alive, happy together.
"I love you Cole." I said as I wrapped my arms around his naked body.
I wish I could've stayed alive for just a little longer and searched for you.